


Hoshi, you’re not a tiger!

by wcldflower



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: All seungcheol wants is one normal day, Dino is very oblivious, Everyone Is Gay, I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, Lee Seokmin | DK is Whipped, M/M, S.coups tries to sell hoshi to NCT, Someone commits arson?, Texting, This is very chaotic, What Have I Done, Will this end up as ot13? Probably, groupchat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:22:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29083083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wcldflower/pseuds/wcldflower
Summary: Mingyu:He’s doing it again...S.coups:Hoshi. For the last time you’re not a tiger!Woozi:I hate this band.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Lee Chan | Dino/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 17
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

  
_**Mingyu**_ _has added_ **_s.coups, jeonghan, Joshua_** _and 9 others to the groupchat **“please help”**_

**Mingyu:** he’s doing it again..

 **S.coups:** Hoshi.

 **S.coups:** for the last time you are not a tiger

 **Woozi:** i hate this band.

 **Hoshi:** rawr

 **S.coups:** I’m calling Taeyong, do you reckon he’d take another kid

 **Jeonghan:** we are not selling hoshi to NCT

 **Jeonghan:** you’re supposed to be the responsible one

 **Mingyu** : you’ll change your mind once you see him

 **Dino** : why is Hoshi dressed as a tiger and making Seokmin walk him on a leash?

 **S.coups** : why did I ever become the leader of this band

 **jun** : is this another one of his weird kinks

 **Dino** : I do not like the fact that suggests he has other weird kinks

 **The8** : if it is then why the hell is seokmin participating in it

 **Seungkwan** : please this is hilarious

 **seungkwan** : he’s running around the dorm like a horse girl

 **jeonghan** : that sounds more annoying than funny

 **Wonwoo** : can someone please explain what the actual hell is going on?

 **vernon** : please get him under control

 **mingyu** : where the hell is seokmin?

 **mingyu** : seokmin get your ass in this chat

 **Dino** : why is he chasing me what the hell did I do?!

 **Seungkwan** : okay now I really have to film this

 **S.coups** : so unfortunately taeyong said he has too many kids already and isn’t willing to take a furry

 **jeonghan** : call RM perhaps BTS will take him

 **Seungkwan** : no don’t sell him I need free entertainment

 **Woozi** : no do sell him

 **woozi** : I physically and emotionally cannot do this anymore

 **joshua** : uh not to alarm anyone but did anyone see where they went

 **s.coups** : I swear to fuck if they’ve gone outside

 **Joshua** : language.

 **S.coups** : Joshua, there’s a possibility that Hoshi and Seokmin are outside looking like they’re doing some sort of weird pet play

 **s.coups:** yet your problem is because I said fuck

 **Jeonghan** : so I called RM

 **jeonghan** : he didn’t answer but I’m assuming one of his kids answered the phone because all I heard was a really loud scream and then someone yelling before they hung up

 **mingyu** : that would be jungkook

 **mingyu** : he does that sometimes

 **The8** : yeah he does that a lot

 **wonwoo** : they’re outside

 **vernon** : is seokmin on drugs?

 **Vernon** : why would he take him outside

 **mingyu** : it’s seokmin

 **vernon** : fair point

 **S.coups** : why will nobody take him

 **s.coups** : I even offered to pay them

 **mingyu** : sell him to stray kids

 **Wonwoo** : bang chan can barely keep his own kids in order never mind hoshi

 **DK** : we’re back everyone calm down

 **s.coups** : I swear I’m going to take you to the NCT dorm myself and force taeyong to take you both

 **DK** : jaehyun knows

 **DK** : he finds the situation rather amusing

 **Hoshi** : so what’s up guys

 **Woozi** : oh my god please shut up

 **Hoshi** : nice to see you too Jihoon

 **dino** : I didn’t appreciate being chased

 **hoshi** : oh that was so funny

 **hoshi** : the way you started screaming

 **dino** : I thought you were going to grab my ankles?!

 **S.coups** : well now that’s all over who wants to go out to eat

 **jeonghan** : Joshua and I will

 **hoshi** : three some

 **jeonghan** : I swear Soonyoung I will floor you

 **Mingyu** : hooshi you’re literally a furry stfu

  
**DK** has changed **Hoshi’s** name to **Hooshi**

**hooshi** : fuck you

 **Joshua** : I give up

 **dino** : seungkwan just made me lose mario kart is it acceptable to throw him out a window

 **vernon** : absolutely not.

 **S.coups** : absolutely not chan.

 **s.coups** : Joshua, jeonghan and I are going out. You all better behave or I’m selling you to NCT

 **DK** : I thought taeyong said no?

 **s.coups** : well frankly I don’t care if taeyong said no

 **s.coups** : I’ll force him to take you all whether he likes it or not

 **Seungkwan** : isn’t that like illegal?

 **s.coups** : you guys test me everyday does it look like I care

 **Mingyu** : come on Atleast sell me to bambam

 **s.coups** : if I sold you bambam you’d be dead with an hour

 **Wonwoo** : I’ll take charge whilst you’re gone

 **hooshi** : I’m literally older than you

 **Wonwoo** : ah yes, leave a furry in charge

 **wonwoo** : I’d rather not die thanks

 **Hooshi** : I’m not a furry!

 **jun** : debatable.

 **S.coups** : we’re leaving now

 **s.coups** : do not break anything and do not let chan throw seungkwan out a window

 **wonwoo** : everything will be fine

[spoiler alert: it wont]  
  


  
[chat between **Mingyu** and **DK** ]  
  


**mingyu** : how long do you reckon before someone breaks something

 **DK** : more like how long before Jihoon beats Soonyoung’s ass

 **mingyu** : what’s he done now

 **DK** : he’s pestering him again

 **Mingyu** : might as well get started on the funeral preparations

  
[please help chat]  
  


**The8** : if someone doesn’t get seungkwan out from under my bed I shall have no choice but to commit arson

 **Wonwoo** : you are not committing arson.

 **jun** : you sure about that wonwoo?

 **dino** : fire.

 **wonwoo** : what the fuck is wrong with you?!

 **Vernon** : set seungkwan on fire and I’ll kick you off this building

 **seungkwan** : IS ANYONE GOING TO HELP ME?!

 **woozi** : don’t make me get the ukulele

 **Mingyu** : seungcheol is literally going to kick us out of the band if you all don’t stop being idiots

 **hooshi** : why is minghao setting seungkwan on fire

 **the8** : because the stupid bitch won’t get out from under my bed

 **jun** : and arson was the best option?!

 **jeonghan** : hi children just to make you all aware that seungcheol is absolutely fuming and is on his way home right now :)

 **DK** : ah shit

 **DK** : NCT dorm here we come

 **mingyu** : might aswell ask the fellow 97 Liners if anyone has a spare bed

 **dino** : what about the rest of us?!

 **mingyu** : we’ll see what we can do

 **mingyu** : perhaps we’ll bring you along

 **seungkwan** : I AM LITERALLY STILL ON FIRE?!

 **Woozi** : did anyone hear something

 **Wonwoo** : we are so screwed

[97 liners chat]  
  


**mingyu** : anyone got like 3 spare beds at their dorm ASAP

 **DK** : like seriously we are so screwed

 **Bambam** : what did you do this time?

 **DK** : minghao set seungkwan on fire

 **jungkook** : what 

**Jungkook** : the

 **jungkook** : FUCK?!

 **yugyeom** : the actual hell goes on in your dorm?

 **Jaehyun** : you could sneak over here but taeyong might beat my ass for letting you in

 **bambam** : we don’t have any spare beds

 **jungkook** : namjoon said no

 **mingyu** : ask seokjin

 **Jungkook** : seokjin said absolutely not

 **DK** : where the hell are we supposed to go

 **bambam** : I’ll ask bang chan if he can hide you in their dorm

 **mingyu** : please before seungcheol gets here and beats our asses

 **Yugyeom** : is giving bang chan three extra kids a good idea when one of them literally committed arson

 **DK** : oh no we’re not bringing minghao

 **DK** : he can get his ass beat we’re bringing the baby

 **Mingyu** : if he finds out you called him that he’ll flip

 **bambam** : good news you’re invited to the stray kids dorm

 **bambam** : just don’t break anything

 **mingyu** : we’re saved

 **DK** : for now.

[please help chat]  
  


**mingyu** : bye bitches seokmin, chan and I are going to hide at the stray kids dorm

 **DK** : have fun getting your asses beat

 **woozi** : why do I have to suffer I literally didn’t do anything

 **seungkwan** ; GUYS I AM STILL ON FIRE?!

 **Dino** : lol bye

_**2 hours later...** _

**s.coups** : WHERE THE FUCK IS SEOKMIN, CHAN AND MINGYU


	2. Barry the dinosaur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S.coups: you have 5 seconds to explain why the hell there is a giant inflatable dinosaur in the middle of our dorm
> 
> Hoshi: jeonghan wanted it
> 
> S.coups: understandable have a nice day

**S.coups** : so what did we all learn from that experience?

**the8:** that seungcheol best leader?

**s.coups:** yes

**s.coups:** wait no not that

**jeonghan:** seokmin, chan and mingyu what do you have to say for yourselves

**DK:** I am very sorry for running away however I can offer you a brownie if you would like

**S.coups:** how and why do you have a box of brownies

**mingyu:** seokmin made friends with Felix who baked us brownies

**S.coups** : anyway back to the point

**s.coups:** you all need to start behaving like adults

**hooshi** : have you met us?

**jun** : he’s got a point to be fair

**wonwoo** : so is absolutely nobody going to mention the giant inflatable dinosaur in the middle of our dorm or-

[chat between **s.coups** and **hoshi** ]  
  


**s.coups** : you have five seconds to explain why there is a giant inflatable dinosaur in the middle of our dorm

**hoshi** : jeonghan wanted it

**s.coups** : understandable, have a nice day

**hoshi** : how WHIPPED are you?!

[please help chat]  
  


**hooshi** : lmao you’ll never guess what

**Wonwoo** : do we really want to guess

**vernon** : have you finally been sold to another band?

**mingyu** : we could always ring Monsta x and see if they’ll take him

**hooshi** : no.

**Vernon** : well that’s disappointing

**wonwoo** : what is it then?

**hooshi** : seungcheol is whipped

**Seungkwan** : suddenly we are all interested

**jun** : oh please I thought we established that years ago

**mingyu** : yeah I thought we already realised he was whipped for jeonghan

**DK** : did we?

**jeonghan** : when was this and why wasn’t I informed

**s.coups** : you know suddenly ringing monsta x doesn’t seem like such a bad idea

**Joshua** : can someone please move this dinosaur

**jeonghan** : it has a name.

**jeonghan** : his name is barry

**joshua** : well can someone please move BARRY

**jeonghan** : okay fine

**jeonghan** : honestly don’t be so fucking rude

[chat between **DK** and **joshua** ]  
  


**DK** : have you seen chan anywhere?

**joshua** : no?

**joshua** : I assumed he’d be in his room

**DK** : he’s not

**joshua** : now that you mention it I don’t remember seeing him earlier either

**DK** : what if he’s missing?!

**joshua** : calm down he probably went out

**DK** : by himself?!

**joshua** : oh for goodness sake you’re as bad as jeonghan

**DK** : I’m offended?

[please help chat]  
  


**DK** : where the hell is chan?!

**woozi** : did you look in his room

**DK** : no I just thought I’d stress for no reason

**woozi** : well sorry for trying to HELP

**hooshi** : I haven’t seen him 

**seungkwan** : he usually bullies me into playing mario kart around this time but I haven’t seen him like all day

**vernon** : what’s going on

**mingyu** : seokmin is freaking out because he doesn’t know where chan is

**mingyu** : perhaps he’s hiding from you

**s.coups** : uh now that you mention it

**DK** : what.

**DK** : happened.

**the8** : I pray the child isn’t hurt or else seokmin may kill someone

**hooshi** : whipped.

**DK** : now is not the time for that

**s.coups** : well earlier we met up with monsta X and well there’s a possibility that

**DK** : that what.

**wonwoo** : what the hell happened?

**jeonghan** : seungcheol if you say what I think you’re going to say I swear to fuck

**s.coups:** I might have lost him

**DK** : HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOSE HIM?!

**the8** : suddenly there is a feral animal in our dorm and it’s not barry

**jeonghan** : if you don’t call shownu right now I will literally skin you alive

**jeonghan** : I can’t believe you lost our maknae how is that even possible

**vernon** : looks like I’m the new maknae 

**seungkwan** : do you want seokmin to kill you?

**seungkwan** : because you are seriously asking for it

**hooshi** : this is why I should be leader

**joshua** : if you were leader you’d find a way to rename the band tigers or something

**hooshi** : yeah and what about it

**S.coups** : I’ll message Shownu and ask if he’s seen him

[chat between **s.coups** and **shownu** ]  
  


**s.coups** : hey I just wanted to ask

**shownu** : have you just realised you’re missing one of your kids?

**s.coups** : you don’t happen to have seen chan have you?

**shownu** : he’s with us

**shownu** : been complaining for the past 30 mins that you’re a terrible parent and he loves jeonghan more than you

**s.coups** : I can’t exactly get mad at him can i

**shownu** : I mean you did lose him

**s.coups** : I’ll be over to pick him up soon

**shownu** : don’t forget now

[please help chat]  
  


**s.coups** : good news Hes with Shownu and he’s fine

**DK** : can I come with you to get him?

**s.coups:** even if I say no you’re still going to tag along

**the8** : he’s even more whipped than mingyu

**mingyu** : I am not whipped.

**jun** : sure you’re not

**Jun** : you just ugly cry over him all the time

**hooshi** : lmao imagine ugly crying over someone

**jun** : don’t get me started on you

**woozi** : who’s he whipped for?

**woozi** : a tiger?

**the8** : I’m going to tell him

**jun** : don’t you dare

**Dino** : seungcheol is the worst parent ever I can’t believe he left me behind

**dino** : he didn’t even hug me when he showed up

**s.coups** : maybe because seokmin practically jumped over me to get to you first

**dino** : at least he made an effort

**dino** has changed **s.coups** name to **worst** **parent**

  
**worst parent** : well isn’t that lovely

**jeonghan** : I can’t believe you left him behind how could you

**dino** : see this is why jeonghan is my favourite parent

**mingyu** : why is the dinosaur in my room

**jeonghan** : his name is Barry oh my god how many times do I have to say this

**mingyu** : I don’t care why is it in my room

**seungkwan** : mingyu just popped barry

**jeonghan** : MY CHILD

**wonwoo** : it’s a piece of plastic?

**joshua** : let’s just say jeonghan has a weird emotional attachment to barry

**the8** : what please tell me it’s not a kink

**DK** : why would anyone have a kink for inflatable dinosaurs

**wonwoo** : Soonyoung is literally into tigers and nobody can try to deny it

**hooshi** : pls stop wording it like I want to have sex with tigers

**woozi** : why is every single conversation in this group so messed up

**vernon** : jeonghan is crying over the dinosaur

**jeonghan** : HIS NAME IS BARRY

**vernon** : sorry I mean barry

**worst parent** : this is what I mean you all test me every day

**Worst parent** : chan, seokmin please stop inhaling brownies

**hooshi** : you can inhale brownies now damn food really has evolved

**worst parent** : it was a figure of speech

**mingyu** : I am in need of medical assistance

**wonwoo** : what happened?

**mingyu** : I may have thrown away the dinosaur and jeonghan punched me in the leg

**jeonghan** : HIS NAME IS BARRY I SWEAR ILL FLOOR YOU AGAIN

**worst parent** : I wonder if NCT need a new member

**DK** : I doubt they'll take the dinosaur 

**worst parent** : that wasn’t what I-

**worst parent** : you know what I’m going to bed 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn’t expect this book to actually get any attention but here we are lmao I hope this was enjoyable enough


	3. the practice room incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worst parent: you all saw nothing
> 
> DK: I don’t think I can pretend I didn’t see that
> 
> Dino: today I saw things I didn’t need to see

  
[chat between **Hoshi** and **DK** ]  
  


**Hoshi** : stop staring at him it’s weird

**DK** : shut up you stare at Jihoon and you don’t see me complaining

**hoshi** : I am discreet

**DK** : if that’s your interpretation of discreet I’d hate to see your obvious

**hoshi** : there is literally a mirror he’s going to see you staring you know

**DK** : maybe then he will pay attention to me

**hoshi** : Or you could just talk to him like a normal human 

[please help chat]  
  


**dino** : so I’m walking through the building right

**jeonghan** : you know I don’t think this story is necessary

**DK** : I think it’s necessary

**the8** : of course he’d say that

**dino** : what

**the8** : nothing, carry on

**Dino** : so anyway I was walking through the building

**seungkwan** : yeah you said that already

**dino** : shut up seungkwan

**dino** : back to what I was saying I was walking through the building and then I heard this noise

**vernon** : please get to the point oh my god

**DK** : maybe if you guys stopped INTERRUPTING him he’d get to the point

**jun** : oh snap

**dino** : thank you seokmin

**dino** : anyway so I heard a noise and I looked and jeonghan had his head stuck in a chair 

**jeonghan** : well this is embarrassing

**mingyu** : how do you get your head stuck in a chair 

**jeonghan** : uh it’s complicated

**jun** : sounds like something you’d hear on sex sent me to the ER

**jun** : but you weren’t doing that right?

**jun** : right jeonghan?

**DK** : MY FUCKING EYES 

**seungkwan** : either Seokmin just got blinded or jeonghan was having sexy time in a chair

**vernon** : I am going to assume it was the 2nd optioN

**worst paren** t: you all saw nothing

**DK** : I don’t think I can pretend I didn’t see that

**dino** : today I saw things I didn’t need to see

**dino** : I THOUGHT THIS WAS AN INNOCENT HEAD STUCK IN CHAIR MOMENT

**jeonghan** : CHAN IM SORRY

**joshua** : great we traumatised the kid

**wonwoo** : right well nice to know you guys were having a threesome

**mingyu** : swear I just heard chan screaming something about wanted to be adopted

**mingyu** : that kids going to run away back to shownu at this rate

**seungkwan** : does this mean we have three parents

**the8** : seungkwan pls this is not an appropriate time for this conversation

**DK** : I will never be able to erase the images out of mind

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ]

**DK** : where did you go?

**Dino** : the airport

**DK** : why are you at the airport?

**dino** : because I’m getting on a plane, running away and changing my name to Jeffrey so I can forget about what I saw

**DK** : I suppose seeing your parental figure in the middle of a threesome with your two other supposed parental figures would be scarring

**Dino** : tell jeonghan I don’t love him anymore

[please help chat]  
  


**DK** : jeonghan

**jeonghan** : whatever it is I’ll buy you it 

**DK** : oh I wasn’t going to ask for anything but now that you’ve said that I’d like an entire new wardrobe

**DK** : however I am here to say that chan doesn’t love you anymore

**jeonghan** : RIGHT CHAN I KNOW YOU SAW ME IN A VERY COMPROMISING POSITION BUT I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS

**The8** : compromising position is that what we’re calling it these days

**woozi** : if anyone else is planning on having any sort of kinky activities pls make me aware 3-5 business days in advance so I can leave the country

**hooshi** : wait so who is chan’s parental figure now

**Jun** : me 

**woozi** : you let minghao commit arson how can we trust you

**worst parent** : can we all just pretend this entire situation didn’t happen

**dino** : no we cannot

**dino** : I am traumatised and would appreciate some compensation for this trauma

**mingyu** : can I get compensation just for the fact I had to hear about it

**woozi** : can I get compensation for the fact I have to deal with Soonyoung

**hooshi** : I am offended

**woozi** : good you should be

**dino** : I am now going to go to the practice room and dance to remove the image from my brain

**DK** : I’ll join you

**the8** : w h I p p e d

**seungkwan** : now watch me whip

**vernon** : hello? Yes pledis is it too late to drop out of the band

**jun** : I just threw up

**jun** : seungkwan it’s 2021 I can’t believe you just said that

**Mingyu** : winwoo dabbed earlier

**Woozi** : who the fuck is winwoo 

**the8** : sounds like some sort of dodgy winwin x wonwoo fanfiction

**wonwoo** : mingyu look what you’ve done

**joshua** : so we’re forgetting you ever heard or saw anything okay

**hooshi** : pay me first

**joshua** : what do you need money for 

**Hooshi** : tiger plushie

**joshua** : you have 73 already please get another hobby

**hooshi** : looks like we aren’t forgetting

**Jeonghan** ; this is blackmail at its finest

**hooshi** : so are you giving me the money for one

**jeonghan** : oh you know what fine whatever I’ll buy you another dumb tiger plushie

**worst parent** : Were never going to live this down

**joshua** : no we’re really not 

**jeonghan** : one day chan will forgive me

**dino** : the day I forgive you is the day i stop being lonely

**dino** : which will be never

**jeonghan** : so basically guys I’ll be forgiven soon what a relief 


	4. Operation meanie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the8: wonwoo are you free at 7pm tonight
> 
> Wonwoo: yes, why?
> 
> The8: mingyu are you free at 7pm tonight
> 
> Mingyu: I should be yeah
> 
> The8: good because I’m not  
> The8: enjoy your date

  
[please help chat]  
  


**DK** : i hate everyone

**DK** : like seriously fuck you guys

**dino** : :(

**DK** : okay I hate everyone but one person

**jun** : god that was disgusting

**jeonghan** : what’s happened now

**DK** : seungkwan decided it would be extremely funny to turn the shower on freezing cold

**seungkwan** : it was funny

**Dino** : why were you in the bathroom when he was showering

**seungkwan** : because Vernon dared me to do it

**vernon** : hey don’t blame this on me

**worstparent** : please don’t start not today

**dino** : did anyone hear something

**worstparent** : chan don’t start this again

**dino** : unfortunately the person you are trying to message is unavailable please try again later

**joshua** : I guess he’s still mad

**hooshi** : HI EVERYONE!!

**woozi** : god why are you so loud it’s 10am go back to bed or something

**hooshi** : okay I’m coming to see you

**woozi** : I meant your own bed not my bed ffs

**The8:** 10:03am Jihoon has suffocated himself due to Soonyoung’s loudness

**worstparent** : why are none of you doing any actual work

**dino** : because Soonyoung isn’t here to tell me what I’m supposed to do

**jun** : what he said

**DK** : Jihoon isn’t here to tell me what to do either

**vernon** : you know I find this incredibly unfair

**woozi** : deal with it

**jun** : where’s wonwoo and mingyu

**the8** : that is SUSPICIOUS

[the8 has added DK, Hooshi and 8 others to the group chat “operation meanie”]  
  


**the8** : as you are all well aware mingyu is whipped for wonwoo

**worstparent** : why aren’t you practicing

**the8** : because Soonyoung and jihoon are having whatever moment it is that they’re having and didn’t show up to practice

**the8** : ANYWAY BACK TO THE POINT

**DK** : mingyu cries about wonwoo in his sleep

**jeonghan** : are you sure he’s not just having a wet dream about him

**DK** : trust me I know the difference.

**jun** : gross

**seungkwan** : why can’t we lock them in a room together

**joshua** : I don’t think that works for getting people together

**woozi** : they need angst for that to work

**hooshi** : why do you know that what have you been reading

**woozi** : shut up

**dino** : wonwoo was talking about mingyu yesterday 

**Dino** : and I mean like he was going off on one about how mingyu is so amazing

**vernon** : well isn’t that gross

**Jeonghan** : well what do you suggest we actually do about it

**worstparent** : we could all go practice like we’re supposed to be doing right now

**dino** : I don’t listen to you

**dino** : you abandoned me

**worstparent** : it was an accident!

**jeonghan** : you still abandoned him

**dino** : no I’m still mad at you too

**the8** : you know what fine I’ll do it myself since you all can’t be Normal for five minutes

**seungkwan** ; what if mingyu was crying over wonwoo because he hates him

**DK** : I heard things that I will never forget which suggests otherwise

**jun** : again GROSS

**worstparent** ; just hurry up and get back to work

**woozi** : what if I just say I’m ill

**worstparent** : calling in sick so that you can spend the day with Soonyoung even though you pretend to hate him is not an acceptable thing to do

**woozi** : fuck you 

**woozi** : you didn’t have to say all that

**hooshi** : I feel appreciated suddenly

**the8** : this was supposed to be operation meanie not operation whatever the fuck their ship name is

**woozi** : soonhoon

**DK** : why does he know that

**the8** : anyway I will carry out the operation myself since you’re all useless

[please help chat]  
  


**mingyu** : where is everyone

**Wonwoo** : why is the chat dead

**the8** : oh seungkwan fell out a window and needed assistance

**seungkwan** : no I didnt

**the8** : don’t make me commit arson again

**mingyu** : right well I’m going to go see what seungcheol wants me to do

**the8** : wait wonwoo are you free at 7pm tonight

**wonwoo** : yeah why

**The8** : mingyu are you free at 7pm tonight

**mingyu** : I should be

**the8** : good because I’m not

**the8** : enjoy your date :)

**mingyu** : DID HE JUST-

**wonwoo** : yeah he did

**jun** : well wasnt that just DISGUSTING

**jeonghan** : you know what I’m not even going to expose you Jun

[chat between **wonwoo** and **mingyu** ]

**wonwoo** : so do you actually want to do something tonight or

**Mingyu** : Only if you want to

**mingyu** : we don’t have to

**wonwoo** : I was thinking we could go out somewhere?

**mingyu** : in that case I’d love to

[chat between **mingyu** and **DK** ]  
  


**mingyu** : IM GOING ON A DATE 

**DK** : I know

**DK** : the whole dorm heard you scream

**mingyu** : NO DOES THAT MEAN WONWOO HEARD

**DK** : yes

**mingyu** : well that’s embarrassing

**DK** : chill he thought it was cute

**mingyu** : suddenly I’m now longer embarrassed

**DK** : anyway enjoy your date

**mingyu** : maybe you’ll get to go on a date soon

**DK** : yes in about twenty years when he stops being oblivious to anything I do

**mingyu** : try harder then 

**mingyu** : honestly seokmin it’s not that difficult

**DK** : MINGHAO LITERALLY HAD ASK YOU GUYS OUT ON A DATE FOR EACH OTHER?!

**mingyu** : I’m still going on a date aren’t I

**DK** : this is so unfair

**mingyu** : life’s unfair seokmin why else do you think seungcheol is the leader of this band

[please help chat]  
  


**jun** : just seen wonwoo and mingyu being cute 

**Jun** : where’s the bleach

**joshua** : why do you hate affection

**dino** : because he doesn’t get any

**jun** : I get more than you

**dino** : nobody likes you

**The8** : what am I a fucking pebble?

**dino** : why am I surrounded by couples

**seungkwan** : please someone has been dropping you hints for YEARS and you still haven’t noticed

**vernon** : leave him seungkwan he’s very oblivious

**jeonghan** : I tried to tell him

**dino** : did anyone hear anything

**jeonghan** : I really despise you right now oh my god

**_4 hours later_ **

**hooshi** **:** well how was the date 

**mingyu** : is it acceptable to want to marry someone after the first date

**wonwoo** : is it acceptable to want to propose on the first date

**jun** : god this is disgustingly cute

**the8** : meanie are cuter than whatever the hell is going on with our “parental figures”

**dino** : wouldn’t be hard to

**dino** : they aren’t having a threesome right in front of my innocent eyes

**DK** : he signed himself up for therapy

**worstparent** : chan I said I was sorry what more do you want

**dino** : credit card :)

**jeonghan** : please do not give him the credit card

**dino** : you bought an inflatable dinosaur on his credit card you cannot say anything

**jeonghan** : that’s it I’m coming to beat your ass

**jeonghan** : HIS NAME IS BARRY

**mingyu** : hello? Childline? Yes my parental figure is fighting with my little brother again

**wonwoo** : I literally just wanted to talk about our date

**mingyu** : let’s get married then

**mingyu** : who’s going to stop us

**worstparent** : me

**mingyu** : sorry I already invited the 97 line to the wedding so unfortunately it will be happening

**worstparent** : mingyu. You are not getting married.

**wonwoo** : who are you to not let us get married

**The8** has changed the group name to “ **let meanie get married”**

**seungkwan** : hey let them get married then we get free stuff

**vernon** : yeah we want free stuff

[97 liners chat]  
  


**mingyu** : I’m here to invite you all to my wedding

**bambam** : did he finally ask wonwoo out instead of spamming this chat at 3am talking about how good he looks

**the8** : I did it for them or else we’d all have to suffer for another like 20 years

**yugyeom** : and seungcheol is just letting you get married

**mingyu** : well you see that’s the issue

**mingyu** : he said no

**jungkook** : rebel against him I did that when Taehyung and I disappeared for like a week

**jungkook** : granted that namjoon was incredibly angry when I returned and tried to sell me to NCT

**jaehyun** : why do all of your leaders try to sell you to us

**jaehyun** : don’t you think we have enough members I don’t even remember all their names

**DK** : how did you manage to disappear for a week without him finding you

**jungkook** : I told him we were in prison

**the8** : I’m sorry WHAT

**Mingyu** : you told namjoon you and Taehyung were in prison

**jungkook** : yes and then hobi phoned and started laughing because namjoon actually phoned the prison

**bambam** : mingyu I reckon seungcheol is going to kill you if you get married

**mingyu** : why

**yugyeom** : because he just text him and I quote 

**yugyeom** : “DO NOT COME TO MINGYU’S WEDDING. HE IS NOT GETTING MARRIED AFTER THE FIRST DATE”

**Mingyu** : he abandoned chan I don’t listen to him

**Mingyu** : so wedding tomorrow hope you all can come

**yugyeom** : I’ll be there

**bambam** : me too

**jungkook** : I’ll sneak out and pretend I’m in prison again

**jaehyun** : I’ll be there that way if you get sold I can bring you to your new home

**mingyu** : thanks guys I’ll see you tomorrow

[let meanie get married]  
  


**dino** : why can I hear doors slamming

**worstparent** : KIM MINGYU!!!

**mingyu** : if I die, wonwoo I love you

**jeonghan** : sigh. Here we go again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading I hope this was enjoyable enough!!


	5. All hell breaks loose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST SOONYOUNG?!
> 
> worst parent: I don’t know it was an accident
> 
> Mingyu: yeah now do you understand why you’re called worst parent

  
[let meanie get married chat]  
  


**DK** : I’m bored

**mingyu** : I stopped paying attention like twenty minutes ago

**Dino** : when can we leave

**worstparent** : will you all put your phones away

**worstparent** : we have an image to keep

**seungkwan** : to be fair this isn’t very exciting when do we get to go stage

**worstparent** : when we win something.

**the8** : I don’t even know who half these people are

**mingyu** : I do

**the8** : yes well you know everyone

**the8** : mr I have hundreds of friends

**worstparent** : can you all please just get off your phones

**dino** : no lol

**woozi** : do you all want to ruin our image

**woozi** : I’d like to keep my job thanks

[dino and 11 others have disconnected]  
  


**woozi** : come on im not that scary!

[chat between **the8** , **mingyu** and **DK** ]  
  


**the8** : can we all agree this is tragically boring

**the8** : who even are most of these people

**mingyu** : other bands obviously

**the8** : yes I know that

**DK** : I swear we’ve been here for like six hours

**mingyu** : if I have to hear seungkwan complain about how he’d rather be playing mario kart right now I will scream

**The8** : they’re always playing mario kart what is their addiction

**DK** : because they don’t own any other games

**mingyu** : are we going on stage?

**mingyu** : I wasn’t paying attention

**DK** : seungcheol just glared at me I would assume we’re supposed to be on stage

**the8** : quick play it off like we were supposed to be late

**the8** : SEOKMIN I DID NOT MEAN RUN.

[chat between **worstparent** and **jeonghan** ]  
  


**worstparent** : is it too early to retire

**jeonghan** : oh stop being dramatic

**worstparent** : I did not raise them to be like this

**jeonghan** : you should’ve known that if someone tells seokmin to do something he will do it

**worstparent** : HE JUMPED IN A FOUNTAIN?!

**jeonghan** : yes because chan told him it would be funny

**worstparent** : this is the reason why I need to sleep for like a year

[let meanie get married chat]  
  


**mingyu** : right well can we all agree that fucking sucked

**wonwoo** : I don’t understand why it had to take so long

**vernon** : dramatic effect?

**joshua** : and then seokmin jumped in a fountain

**Dino** : it was funny

**worstparent** : it really wasn’t because now he’s dripping water everywhere

**jeonghan** : Atleast we won an award?

**seungkwan** : yes but the whole thing was still boring

**woozi** : why’s Soonyoung being so quiet

**DK** : where actually is Soonyoung?

**wonwoo** : don’t tell me seungcheol lost him

**worstparent** : there is a possibility that I may have lost soonyoung

**jeonghan** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST SOONYOUNG?!

**worstparent** : I don’t know it was an accident

**mingyu** : yeah now do you understand why you’re called worst parent

[chat between **worstparent** and **hoshi** ]  
  


**worstparent** : WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU

**hoshi** : and that’s a new record on realising you lost one of your kids

**worstparent** : just tell me where you are so I can come and collect you

**hoshi** : I’ve been adopted into NCT

**worstparent** : are you at the NCT dorm?

**hoshi** : no

**worstparent** : THEN WHERE ARE YOU

**hoshi** : with NCT

**worstparent** : and where is NCT

**hoshi** : with me

**worstparent** : just tell me your location

**Hoshi** : earth

**worstparent** : I give up

[let meanie get married chat]  
  


**worstparent** : Hes with NCT somewhere

**worstparent** : he won’t tell me where

**dino** : as he should

**worstparent** : chan I’ll send you back to monstaX if you don’t be quiet

**dino** : oh please do that was the best moment in my entire life

**jeonghan** : alright everyone calm down just find out where NCT are and we can go get him

**joshua** : shouldn’t be difficult they permanently look like they’re on a class trip

**mingyu** : honestly why don’t you just message your leader groupchat

**worstparent** : that is not a real thing

**DK** : who’s gonna tell him

**worstparent** : did they create a leaders groupchat without me

**Woozi** : seungcheol no offence but I really don’t care about your little leader friends leaving you out

**woozi** : just find my tiger behaving man child

**jun** : god that was DISGUSTING

**the8** : oh you’re alive what a surprise

**jun** : no I’m dead

**jun** : I cease to exist because PUBLIC AFFECTION

**mingyu** : wonwoo come give me affection

**wonwoo** : omw:)

**Jun** : I did not need to hear about it

[chat between **DK** and **jaehyun** ] 

**DK** : do you happen to have a tiger behaving man child with you

**jaehyun** : oh you mean the man who’s been doing tiger claws over and over again

**jaehyun** : yes as a matter of fact we do

**DK** : of course he has

**DK** : where are you? Seungcheol wants to come and collect him

**jaehyun** : [sends location] 

[let meanie get married]  
  


**DK** : jaehyun told me where they are [sends location]

**woozi** : seungcheol stop being gross with jeonghan and drive me.

**worstparent** : yes your highness

**the8** : and jihoon claims to hate him

**woozi** : don’t put me in a bad mood.

**mingyu** : aren’t you already in a bad mood

**seungkwan** : and so mingyu has chosen death

**vernon** : seungkwan where are you

**seungkwan** : I’m eating what do you want

**vernon** : for you to come here obviously

**dino** : seeing as he’s gone can we just have a party

**jeonghan** : I’m still here

**jeonghan** : you’re not having a party

[chat between **Dino** and **DK** ] 

**dino** : party?

**DK** : party.

**dino** : if jeonghan tries to yell at me I’ll blame it on mingyu

[let meanie get married]  
  


**hoshi** : HEYYYY

**wonwoo** : oh look it’s the man child

**mingyu** : surprised SM didn’t convince him to join in that short time he was there

**Seungkwan** : he could’ve been the 24th member

**seungkwan** : breaking news SM debuts a furry under new NCT line up

**hoshi** : I’m not a furry

**worstparent** : why can I hear really loud music

**the8** : that? Uh that’s just the neighbours

**jun** : yeah that’s absolutely nothing

**worstparent** : then why can I hear loud thumping coming from inside our dorm

**jeonghan** : CHAN I TOLD YOU NO PARTIES

**dino** : I didn’t do anything

**dino** : it was mingyu’s idea

**mingyu** : what how is it my idea

**DK** : it was mingyu

**mingyu** : WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO BETRAY ME

**worstparent** : so it was mingyu

**mingyu** : NO THESE LITTLE SHITS ARE TRYING TO FRAME ME

**Jeonghan** : mingyu I swear I’ll floor you

**wonwoo** : it wasn’t mingyu

**Dino** : yes it was

**jun** : it was

**the8** : yeah it was mingyu

**DK** : can’t believe he’s denying it

[97 liners chat]  
  


**mingyu** : I have been BETRAYED

**mingyu** : I am DISGUSTED

**mingyu** : I am APPALLED

**mingyu** : I cannot BELIEVE this

**mingyu** : I am no longer speaking to any of them

**jungkook** : did someone commit a murder or something

**jaehyun** : minghao committed arson like last week so I wouldn’t be surprised

**bambam** : well is anyone going to explain

**yugyeom** : is this mingyu being dramatic again

**The8** : chan had a party and we blamed it on mingyu

**DK** : now seungcheol and jeonghan are not happy and might murder mingyu

**jungkook** : atleast it wasn’t a fight over food

**the8** : who is fighting over food

**jungkook** : seokjin and yoongi fought over snacks again

**Mingyu** : I swear I’ll strangle our maknae

**DK** : DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT

**bambam** : uh should we do something

**yugyeom** : nah this a daily occurrence in their dorm

**the8** : SEOKMIN STOP TRYING TO DROWN MINGYU

**jungkook** : uh how about we get our leaders to call their leader

**jaehyun** : sounds like a good idea

[let meanie get married]  
  


**Jeonghan** : SEOKMIN GET YOUR ASS IN HERE

**DK** : ass present

**Jeonghan** : did you or did you not try to drown mingyu

**DK** : yes

**hoshi** : I’m not sure you’re supposed to just admit it like that

**DK** : he tried to kill chan first

**dino** : can confirm

**mingyu** ; you blamed me for your stupid party

**the8** : you didn’t have to be dramatic about it

**Wonwoo** : don’t be mean to mingyu

**Jun** : just because you’re whipped

**seungkwan** : okay but none of this would have happen if Soonyoung hadn’t disappeared

**hoshi** : don’t blame this on me if jeonghan was actually a good parent we wouldn’t be yelling

**jeonghan** : Soonyoung you are literally a furry shut the fuck up

**woozi** : HEY DONT UPSET HIM

**jeonghan** : I’ll do what I want I’m the parental figure here right now

**vernon** : seungcheol is supposed to be our parental figure where the hell even is he

**DK** : MINGYU GET OFF ME

**mingyu** : STOP GRABBING MY ANKLES

**dino** : WONWOO STFU THIS ISNT MY FAULT

**wonwoo** : yes it is if you didn’t have your party then this wouldn’t have happened

**the8** : wonwoo stop fighting the baby

**wonwoo** : of course you’d pick his side

**Jun** : wonwoo I’ll beat your ass if your rude to him again

**woozi** : WHO THE FUCK MADE SOONYOUNG CRY

**jeonghan** : I didn’t even do anything

**woozi** : square up

**mingyu** : you’re going to need a step stool

**woozi** : oh you want to go you fucking beanstalk

**DK** : GET THE FUCK OFF CHAN I SWEAR TO GOD WONWOO

**dino** : seungkwan stop recording and help me

**the8** : SEUNGKWAN POST THAT ON YOUTUBE AND I SERIOUSLY WILL KILL YOU

**vernon** : was that a THREAT minghao

**the8** : oh please what are you going to do

**jeonghan** : JIHOON LET GO OF MY DAMN ANKLE

**DK** : WHY IS CHAN CRYING

**hoshi** : you think this is funny mingyu

**hoshi** : I will beat your ass

**mingyu** : don’t you dare chase me round this building

**Dino** : jeonghan you’re a terrible parent

**jeonghan** : if you hadn’t have ran away to shownu none of this would’ve happened

**dino** : at least shownu loves me

**worstparent** : ENOUGH.

**joshua** : oh dear

**worstparent** : you’re adults. Stop acting like children and fighting each other

**worstparent** : it’s my fault we’re in this situation okay nobody else’s now please just stop arguing over stupid things

**Seungkwan:** so who wants to play mario kart

**everyone** : SEUNGKWAN.

**Seungkwan** : sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have gotten a bit carried away whilst writing this one haha  
> I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless  
> Also I know it’s set that there will be around 20 chapters however I may write more I’m not sure yet :)


	6. What in the soonhoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DK: okay but did you see how quickly he RAN
> 
> Seungkwan: he shoved me out of the way
> 
> Jeonghan: what in the soonhoon is going on

  
[let meanie get married]  
  


**woozi** : where is seokmin

**the8** : sleeping

**jeonghan** : he was supposed to come to the studio like half an hour ago

**the8** : well he’s still asleep

**mingyu** : I’ll go wake him up

**the8** : no send chan

**dino** : why me I’m eating right now

**the8** : because he’s less likely to murder you for disturbing his sleep

**jun** : minghao we’re trying to get him out of bed not make him have one of his moments

**vernon** : please don’t elaborate on what that is

**seungkwan** : he’ll probably pass out or something

**dino** : you guys are being weird

**worstparent** : okay so if everyone finishes practice by 1 then we can all go out to eat

**vernon** : seokmin is still sleeping

**worstparent** : earth tests me everyday

**dino** : I woke him up

**dino** : you could’ve warned me he would be extra clingy

**jeonghan** : please just tell him to hurry up and come to the studio

**hoshi** : HI EVERYONE

**wonwoo** : do you have to yell all the time

**hoshi** : yes.

**DK** : I’m coming to the studio keep your wig on jeonghan

**Jeonghan** : ILL HAVE YOU KNOW THIS ISNT A WIG

**Mingyu** : okay so we’re promised food right

**mingyu** : no backing out now

**seungkwan** : is it possible to speed run practice

**vernon** : I told you that you should’ve eaten earlier

**the8** : seungkwan this isn’t minecraft you can’t speed run life

**jun** : everyone meet up at one?

**Joshua** : sounds like a plan

[chat between **the8** and **worstparent** ]  
  


**the8** : I mean not to alarm you or anything but Soonyoung might be dying

**worstparent** : what happened

**the8** : it’s a long story

**the8** : his arm looks kinda funky tho

**worstparent** : okay okay I’ll be there as soon as I can

**Worstparent** : just don’t let anyone turn it into a huge deal the last thing we need is 9 people rushing in

**the8** : yeah about that...

[let meanie get married]  
  


**dino** : SOONYOUNG IS DYING

**woozi** : WHAT?!

**DK** : I’m going to need you to elaborate

**The8** : his arm looks funky

**woozi** : tell him I’ll be there in 2 minutes

**worstparent** : there really isn’t any need I’m already on my way there

**woozi** : I don’t care.

**jun** : well then I can’t wait to see how this plays out

**dino:** is he running?

**the8** : how did he get here so fast

**worstparent** : no seriously how did he get there before me

**woozi** : because I hurry

**woozi** : you take a leisurely stroll

**DK** : okay but did you see how fast he RAN

**seungkwan** : he pushed me out of the way :(

**jeonghan** : what in the soonhoon is going on

**joshua** : did someone at least call an ambulance?

**jun** : no Joshua we thought it would be funny to sit and stare at his weird funky arm

**jun** : of course we did 

**hoshi** : LMFAO YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT

**wonwoo** : we know

**mingyu** : how funky is the arm

**hoshi** : you wanna see

**mingyu** : not particularly no

**vernon** : how is he not crying

**woozi** : he is

**woozi** : minghao is texting for him

**worstparent** : alright me and jihoon will go to the hospital with him

**worstparent** : jeonghan and joshua please try to keep everyone else out of danger

**jeonghan** : we can go out for food whilst you’re gone

  
[ **DK** has added **seungkwan** , **the8** , **mingyu** to the groupchat **soonhoon** **situation** ]  
  


**DK** : alright who knows what’s going on with them are they together or

**the8** : I like how you decided half the band wasn’t good enough for this discussion

**seungkwan** : I can’t believe you left out vernon

**mingyu** : wonwoo as much as I love him always spills the information and he and Vernon communicate in silence so it makes sense they aren’t here

**the8** : Jun doesn’t like hearing about affection

**seungkwan** : yes we noticed

**DK** : aren’t you guys literally in a relationship

**the8** : I am an exception

**mingyu** : anyway back to the point

**mingyu** : I don’t know if they’re together but Soonyoung is whipped

**seungkwan** : couldn’t you say Jihoon was also whipped considering he shoved me out of the way

**the8** : why is everyone whipped oh my god

**mingyu** : seokmin is the worst

**DK** : I am literally right here

**seungkwan** : do you reckon if I asked Jihoon he’d tell me if they were together

**the8** : I reckon he’d beat you the fuck up :)

**mingyu** : that smiley was so passive aggressive

**The8** : I know

**The8** : it’s my brand :)

**seungkwan** : I’m going to ask him

**mingyu** : rip seungkwan 1998-2021

[chat between **seungkwan** and **woozi** ] 

  
**seungkwan** : jihoon 

**woozi** : no.

**seungkwan** : you don’t even know what I’m going to ask

**woozi** : whatever it is will probably be dumb

**seungkwan** : oh come on I don’t ask stupid questions anymore

**woozi** : last week you asked me if seokmin was straight.

**woozi** : seokmin of all people

**seungkwan** : I DIDNT KNOW EVERYONE WAS SERIOUS

**woozi** : anyway what do you want I’m dealing with a tiger man child and his funky arm

**seungkwan** : what’s going on with you and him

**woozi** : what’s going on with you and Vernon.

**seungkwan** : if I tell you will you tell me

**woozi** : okay deal

**seungkwan** : 3

**seungkwan** : 2

**seungkwan** : 1

**woozi** : ...

**seungkwan** : ...

**seungkwan** : right well now I’m disappointed in both of us

**woozi** : fine whatever we have a thing going on

**seungkwan** : I KNEW IT

**woozi** : Says the man who thought seokmin was straight

**woozi** : anyway your part of the deal

**seungkwan** : oh yeah we also have this thing going on

**woozi** : now I already knew that

**woozi** : I just wanted to see you admit it

[soonhoon situation]  
  


**seungkwan** : they have a thing going on

**DK** : I’m surprised he didn’t murder you for asking

**Seungkwan** : I may have had to admit vernon and I have a thing going on

**mingyu** : minghao and I figured that out weeks ago

**The8** : you guys aren’t subtle

**DK** : does this mean

**the8** : yes it does mean that you and chan are the only ones who are still lonely fucks

**mingyu** : the kids so oblivious

**DK** : I have been hinting for like 2 years

**seungkwan** : oh my god

**mingyu** : what

**seungkwan** : what if he’s HETERO

**the8** : well that would be unfortunate

**DK** : suddenly I can’t read

**mingyu** : if he can’t read he can’t get his heart broken

**seungkwan** : do you want me to ask if he is a straight

**The8** : SEUNGKWAN YOU CANT JUST ASK HIM IF HES STRAIGHT THATS WEIRD

**Mingyu** : remember when seungkwan thought seokmin was straight 

**seungkwan** : hey that was last week DONT remind me

**DK** : seungkwan I haven’t done a straight thing in my life

**DK** : I can’t even think straight

[let meanie get married]  
  


**hoshi** : arm no longer funky

**jeonghan** : well that’s a relief

**worstparent** : he did throw a fit in the hospital because they don’t have tiger print casts

**wonwoo** : suddenly I don’t know him

**dino** : oh he survived

**woozi** : Hes somehow more hyper than he was earlier

**hoshi** : <333

**woozi** : yes I love you too but can you please stop acting crazy

**wonwoo** : I’m sorry did we miss a few chapters or something when the hell did this happen

**jeonghan** : what in the soonhoon

**joshua** : another couple who’s next

**seungkwan** : ah yes they have a thing going on

**dino** : lol I’m lonely

**DK** : same.

**dino** :it sucks doesnt it

**DK** : yeah definitely

[chat between **DK** and **The8** ]

**DK** : I am just asking for him to requite this love just once

**the8** : I am once asking you to please bother someone else about this because I am tired of hearing of it

**DK** : mingyu didn’t reply to me

**the8** : suddenly I’m second choice?!

**the8** : I’m offended

**DK** : you literally just said-

[let meanie get married]  
  


**seungkwan** : wow isn’t that such a coincidence they are both lonely

**dino** : huh?

**seungkwan** : you and seokmin

**dino** : I mean yeah I guess so

**Mingyu** : when are you guys going to stop being lonely

**DK** : when the person im whipped for finally notices me

**worstparent** : all I’m going to say is seungkwan and mingyu you are the worst wingmen I’ve ever seen in my life

**joshua** : this is painful to watch

**joshua** : soonhoon give us some content

**hoshi** : JIHOON

**woozi** : SOONYOUNG

**hoshi** : I love you <3

**woozi** : I love you too <3

**jun** : god that was DISGUSTING

**the8** : oh shut up you big baby you were hugging me five minutes ago

**jun** : how dare you expose me

**jeonghan** : I dislike the fact soonhoon are cuter than me joshua and seungcheol

**wonwoo** : you guys don’t even have a ship name

**jeonghan** : it’s hanshuacheol

**mingyu** : that’s a terrible ship name

**worstparent** : we don’t need a ship name

**joshua** : we can still be cute without one

**DK** : I don’t think you can beat them

**Vernon** : you really should see them

**jun** : they are being DISGUSTING

**jeonghan** : let me see

**jeonghan** : oh okay yeah we lost

**the8** : good I don’t want to see my parental figures be cute

**jun** : I don’t want to see other people being affectionate it’s DISGUSTING

**woozi** : minghao just kiss him and shut him up already

**The8** : he’s in a mood so no

**jun** : WHO ARE YOU TO DENY ME OF LOVE

**Vernon** : Jun is a strange one

**seungkwan** : where did seokmin go

**wonwoo** : mario kart

**seungkwan** : he’s playing mario kart without me

**mingyu** : seungkwan let him have his moment

**seungkwan** : OH HES PLAYING MULTIPLAYER MARIO KART I GOT YOU

**jeonghan** : seokmin is just screaming main character of a slow burn fanfiction right now

**worstparent** : why do you know what thats like

**jeonghan** : no reason

**joshua** : jeonghan did you read fanfiction about us

**jeonghan** : hello pledis? Yes is it too late to drop out of seventeen

**woozi** : I’m sorry I go on my phone for a second and I find out jeonghan is reading fanfiction about us

**woozi** : glad to know I’m not the only one

**wonwoo** : why are you all reading fanfiction about us

**wonwoo** : mingyu please tell me you haven’t

**mingyu** : it was an accident I swear I’m sorry

**Jun** : you guys are weird

**mingyu** : love you too jun

**Jun** : god that was DISGUSTING

30 minutes later 

**DK** : I’m sorry

**DK** : what the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jun being utterly disgusted by anyone else’s affection is the only constant in my life right now 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Double update today as I have school this week so I don’t know how much free time I’ll have :)


	7. A girlfriend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan: mingyu we can’t kill off chan’s potential girlfriend
> 
> Mingyu: why not seems reasonable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh, I’m sorry if Theres a plot hole in the middle of this chapter anywhere basically I was just about to upload the chapter and my phone crashed so I had to rewrite as I forgot to save it elsewhere beforehand - rookie error I know

[let meanie get married]  
  


**Joshua** : can someone please buy seungkwan a new game

 **seungkwan** : but I enjoy mario kart

 **joshua** : yes but you play it constantly

 **worstparent** : at least when they play mario kart they don’t end up burning something

 **jeonghan** : are you forgetting the time minghao set seungkwan on fire

 **the8** : he was the one who went under my bed he didn’t have to go there

 **wonwoo** : I’m going out

 **Mingyu** : what and you weren’t going to invite me?

 **mingyu** : I’m offended

 **wonwoo** : I didn’t realise I had to invite my own boyfriend

 **wonwoo** : I assumed you’d just tag along anyway

 **dino** : I’m also going out

 **jeonghan** : where?

 **dino** : out.

 **worstparent** : I’d give up jeonghan it’s obvious he doesn’t want to tell you

 **hoshi** : I’m bored

 **woozi** : well what do you want to do

 **hoshi** : mario kart

 **woozi** : may I pls get a new boyfriend

 **the8** : I’m going to the shops seeing as someone ate all the snacks

 **DK** : it was mingyu

 **mingyu** : well sorry that I was HUNGRY

 **the8** : it’s fine I was going to buy more anyway

 **the8** : Jun come with me

 **jun** : if I must

 **The8** : you could at least sound a bit more excited to hang out with me

 **Jun** : OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED TO GO OUT WITH YOU THIS IS CRAZY!!!

 **the8** : just hurry up.

 **seungkwan** : seokmin mario kart

 **DK** : I have been summoned

 **Vernon** : what’s going on

 **seungkwan** : NOTHING GO BACK TO SLEEP

 **worstparent** : well that was weird

 **seungkwan** : he needs his sleep

 **jeonghan** : how is soonyoung playing mario kart

 **DK** : badly

 **hoshi** : no I’m not

 **DK** : you are literally in last place

 **Hoshi** : how do you know I didn’t come last on purpose

 **DK** : the whole point of the game is to win.

[chat between **Jun** and **jeonghan** ]

**jun** : I would’ve told seungcheol about this however he won’t answer me

 **jun** : anyway I saw something DISGUSTING

 **jeonghan** : what is it I’m trying to stop seungkwan and Soonyoung fighting over mario kart

 **jun** : well whilst minghao and I were going to the shops

 **jun** : we saw chan on a date

 **jeonghan** : WHAT

 **jun** : with a girl.

 **jeonghan** : WHAT

 **jun** : I’m just warning you before minghao tells seokmin

 **jun** : be prepared for him to be upset

 **jeonghan** : we’re just going to need to try and be there for him

 **jun** : this is going to hurt him more than last time

 **jeonghan** : please don’t remind me of that

 **jeonghan** : mingyu nearly hired a hitman.

[ **the8** has changed the group name “ **soohoon situation** ” to “ **crisis** ”]  
  


**seungkwan** : well that’s unsettling

 **mingyu** : uh what’s going on

 **DK** : I don’t like the fact that it’s now crisis and not situation

 **the8** : you aren’t going to like this

 **the8** : is everyone sitting down

 **seungkwan** : you’re scaring me

 **mingyu** : minghao you’re not dying right

 **The8** : no I’m not dying

 **DK** : well that’s a relief

 **the8** : uh however we did see chan on a date earlier

 **mingyu** : I’m sorry what

 **DK** : what

 **the8** : yeah uh he was on a date with a girl

 **the8** : I think he has a girlfriend

 **DK** : what do you mean he has a girlfriend

 **the8** : well he was on a date with a girl

 **DK** : my nightmares are coming true

 **seungkwan** : you have nightmares about him being straight?

 **mingyu** : who’s the girl I can get rid of her

 **the8** : mingyu we really do not need a hitman

 **seungkwan** : seokmin are you crying

 **DK** : no

 **seungkwan** : seokmin I can hear you

 **DK** : it’s allergies

[chat between **woozi** and **jeonghan** ]  
  


**woozi** : uh should I be worried about anything

 **Jeonghan** :why what’s going on

 **woozi** : I walked past seokmins room and I can hear him crying

 **woozi** : he’s locked the door and won’t let anyone in

 **jeonghan** :we think chan has a girlfriend

 **jeonghan** : minghao and jun saw them on a date earlier

 **woozi** : oh god

 **woozi** : I’ll see if Soonyoung can get through to him

 **jeonghan** : I’ll let seungcheol know and we can think of how we’re going to help him

 **woozi** : I just hope he’ll be alright

 **jeonghan** : he will be we just need to be there for him

 **jeonghan** : see what Soonyoung can do and call me if anything happens okay

 **Woozi** : okay

[chat between **jeonghan** , **Joshua** and **worstparent** ] 

**jeonghan** : it’s happened again

 **joshua** : seokmin’s heartbroken

 **worstparent** : we figured

 **worstparent** : he just sort of got up and went to his room without saying anything

 **jeonghan** : yeah chans on a date with a girl

 **joshua** : oh god that’s even worse

 **joshua** : poor seokmin is someone with him

 **jeonghan** : Soonyoung’s going to try and talk to him

 **jeonghan** : mingyu and wonwoo are still out but I’m assuming they’ll be back soon

 **worstparent** : we just have to try and support him best we can

 **jeonghan** : let’s see if Soonyoung can get him to actually come out of his room

[chat between **hoshi** and **DK** ] 

**hoshi** : can you unlock the door?

 **DK** : I don’t want anyone to see me like this

 **hoshi** : seokmin nobody is going to judge you for being upset

 **DK** : it just hurts so much

 **DK** : why does it hurt so much

 **DK** : why did I ever think he would like me

 **hoshi** : seokmin listen to me

 **hoshi** : it’s going to be okay I’m here for you

 **DK** : you don’t have to do this you know

 **DK** : you can go hang out with Jihoon if you want

 **hoshi** : I can hang out with Jihoon anytime

 **DK** : but hanging out with your boyfriend would be way more interesting than listening to my sob story

 **hoshi** : seokmin I literally have a special place in my heart for you I’m not leaving you by yourself

 **DK** : fine I’ll let you in

 **DK** : just bring jeonghan too

 **hoshi** : of course

[chat between **hoshi** and **jeonghan** ] 

**hoshi** : he’s letting me in but he wants you as well

 **jeonghan** : oh thank god 

**jeonghan** : my parent instincts were beginning to kick in

 **hoshi** : he’s not doing good

 **hoshi** : like this is worse than last time

 **jeonghan** : last time he locked himself away for a week

 **hoshi** : i hate seeing him like this

 **jeonghan** : come on let’s go see if we can cheer him up a bit or at least calm him

[chat between **jeonghan** , **worst parent** and **joshua** ] 

**jeonghan** : okay Soonyoung and I are sitting with him

 **jeonghan** : he’s really upset and he doesn’t want to see anyone else right now so please just keep everyone else under control

 **worstparent** : I’ll try my best

 **joshua** : I hope he gets better soon

 **worstparent** : I just hope mingyu doesn’t try to hire a hitman again

[crisis chat]  
  


**mingyu** : we’re back how is he

 **seungkwan** : Soonyoung and jeonghan are sitting with him currently

 **the8** : nobody else is allowed in

 **mingyu** : are you sure we don’t need a hitman

 **seungkwan** : mingyu we can’t kill off chan’s potential girlfriend

 **mingyu** : why not it seems reasonable

 **the8** : because that’s murder

 **Mingyu** : you committed arson??

 **seungkwan** : yes but I’m still alive.

 **the8** : anyway seokmin will be okay

 **the8** : he’ll hurt for a few days and then the sun will return

 **mingyu** : I really hope so

[let meanie get married]  
  


**vernon** : I just woke up what is going on

 **vernon** : why can I hear crying

 **jun** : seokmin is upset

 **seungkwan** : come and find me and I’ll explain

 **wonwoo** : do you reckon he’ll be okay

 **worstparent** : he’ll be okay we just need to support him and give him time

 **the8** : and not let mingyu hire a hitman

 **dino** : uh what’s going on

 **Dino** : is seokmin okay

 **jeonghan** : he will be

 **woozi** : why don’t you seungkwan and Vernon go play mario kart or something

 **seungkwan** : sounds good

 **vernon** : I’m in

 **dino** : yeah I’ll be there in a second

[chat between **Dino** and **DK** ]  
  


**dino** : are you okay? I’m worried about you

 **DK** : I’ll be fine

 **dino** : are you sure?

 **DK** : yeah

 **DK** : anyway how was your date

 **dino** : how did you know about that

 **DK** : Jun and minghao saw you earlier, everyone knows

 **dino** : oh

 **dino** : it was fun, she was nice

 **DK** : I’m happy for you

 **dino** : yeah

[chat between **hoshi** and **woozi** ]

**hoshi** : he just made himself even sadder by asking how the date was

 **woozi** : thats seokmin for you

 **hoshi** : I just want him to feel better

 **hoshi** : I care about him a lot you know that

 **woozi** : you guys are like platonic soulmates or something

 **hoshi** : is that even a thing

 **woozi** : who said soulmates have to be romantic

 **hoshi** : you have a point

 **hoshi** : anyway he’s going to sleep so I’m coming to your room in like 5 minutes

 **woozi** : okay then I’ll see you then

[let meanie get married]  
  


**jeonghan** : he’s asleep

 **jeonghan** : poor baby tired himself out with all the crying

 **wonwoo** : hopefully he’ll feel better tomorrow

 **mingyu** : you all better give him so much love tomorrow

 **jun** : I can make an exception for the living sun

 **The8** : so what do we do now

 **worstparent** : chan what happened on this outing earlier

 **dino** : oh uh we don’t have to talk about it

 **Mingyu** : no go ahead I’m intrigued

 **dino** : it was fun

 **dino** : yeah she was nice

[chat between **worstparent** , **jeonghan** and **joshua** ] 

**joshua** : did anyone else think he was acting weird

 **jeonghan** : that was such a half hearted response

 **Worstparent** : do you reckon it actually went badly

 **joshua** : I’m not sure but he’s acting weird about the whole thing

 **jeonghan** : he keeps brushing it off as though it’s not important

 **joshua** : I’m going to ask him because this is weird

[chat between **joshua** and **dino** ] 

**joshua** : so how was the date really?

 **dino** : it was fun

 **dino** : she was nice

 **joshua** : are you going to see her again?

 **dino** : yeah I guess

 **joshua** : you don’t seem so sure about that

 **dino** : I don’t know

 **dino** : it was just something I thought about after the date

 **dino** : perhaps I’m overthinking it too much

 **dino** : ah it doesn’t matter

 **joshua** : if you say so

[chat between **joshua** , **jeonghan** and **worstparent** ]  
  


**joshua** : [screenshot attached] 

**jeonghan** : well there’s definitely something weird about all of this

 **worstparent** : how bad did the date go

 **joshua** : he’s being really suspicious

 **joshua** : he’s less chatty than usual

 **jeonghan** : I wonder what he was overthinking

 **worstparent** : I guess we’ll never know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one made me sad however don’t worry happy seokmin will return soon and it will all make sense


	8. Suspicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan: do you think chan’s acting weird
> 
> Woozi: he’s certainly not acting normal
> 
> Wonwoo: he’s distancing himself and spending a lot of time with this girl
> 
> Joshua: this whole situation is weird

[let meanie get married]  
  


**jun** : how’s seokmin anyone know

**jeonghan** : I think he’s awake

**jeonghan** : I’m not sure what he’s doing though

**worstparent** : we need to get him out of his room

**the8** : you said that last time and it worked SO well

**hoshi** : let me try this time

**woozi** : well we can’t let him lock himself in his room for like a week again

**seungkwan** : what do we do if that happens again

**mingyu** : hire a hitman

**joshua** : we are not hiring a hitman to kill them off

**mingyu** : you guys suck

**mingyu** : it’s the best option

**jeonghan** : yeah if you want to go to prison

**wonwoo** : mingyu what are you doing

**mingyu** : what’s the biggest box you can send in the mail

**Worstparent** : we are not mailing anyone to the middle of the desert.

**mingyu** : well that’s disappointing

[chat between **hoshi** and **DK** ]

**hoshi** : how are you feeling?

**DK** : like a deflated balloon

**hoshi** : that’s a new one

**DK** : well what I assume a deflated balloon would feel like

**hoshi** : basically I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go get food

**DK** : will there be pizza?

**hoshi** : yes

**DK** : I’m in

**DK** : invite minghao and mingyu

**hoshi** : well your mood changed very quickly

**DK** : it’s pizza of course my mood has changed.

[let meanie get married]  
  


**hoshi** : mingyu, minghao get your coat we’re going for food

**jeonghan** : wait is seokmin going out

**hoshi** : mention pizza and his mood suddenly shoots up

**worstparent** : now why didn’t we try that last time

**mingyu** : Soonyoung you better be paying

**The8** : yeah I’m not paying

**hoshi** : I am paying just hurry up

**DK** : PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA

**jeonghan** : seokmin how are you feeling?

**DK** : temporary happy

**joshua** : well you 4 enjoy your food

  
[ **jeonghan** has added **worstparent** , **woozi** and 2 others to the group ???]  
  


**wonwoo** : another groupchat

**wonwoo** : really jeonghan?

**jeonghan** : I have a good reason for this one

**woozi** : why didn’t you add soonyoung

**jeonghan** : Hes with seokmin and I don’t want to disturb them

**joshua** : well are you going to explain what this chats for

**worstparent** : is this about the conversation we had 

**jeonghan** : do you think chan’s acting weird

**woozi** : he certainly isn’t acting normal

**wonwoo** : he’s distancing himself and spending a lot of time with this girl

**joshua** : this whole situation is weird

**joshua** : like look at these [screenshot attached] he still hadn’t told anyone what it is that supposedly doesn’t matter

**Worstparent** : I’m concerned not going to lie

**woozi** : he’s not over working himself again is he

**jeonghan** : ah I Shouldve added jun he’d know

[ **jeonghan** has added **jun** ]

**jun** : what is this

**jeonghan** : chan’s been acting weird

**joshua** : read up

**jun** : I mean as far as I’m aware he hasn’t been over working himself

**jun** : he’s been in practice the same amount of time as the rest of us

**worstparent** : well if he’s not under stress then why else would he be acting weird

**wonwoo** : the company aren’t forcing him to date this girl are they

**worstparent** : I already made it clear none of us were doing any of that bullshit

**jeonghan** : I’m worried about him

**jeonghan** : there’s obviously something he isn’t telling us

**woozi** : where even is he right now

**wonwoo** : out with that stupid girl

**jun** : why’s he spending so much time with her

**worstparent** : it all seems so sudden

**worstparent** : one day he’s complaining he’s lonely and the next he’s on a date with some random girl

**joshua** : he could be hiding it from us

**jeonghan** : IS HE EMBARRASSED TO BE STRAIGHT

**wonwoo** : I really don’t think that’s why he’s being weird

**jun** : let’s see what he’s like when he comes home

**worstparent** : yeah whenever that is

[let meanie get married]  
  


**seungkwan** : alright own up who took the mario kart game

**vernon** : I literally just wanted to beat seungkwan at mario kart for once and one of you has stolen it

**jeonghan** : why can’t you just buy a different game

**joshua** : jeonghan we’ve already asked them this

**joshua** : they claim it’s their favourite game

**worstparent** : I don’t think a missing mario kart game is really a big concern right now

**Seungkwan** : well what is a big concern

**worstparent** : when is chan coming home

**vernon** : what since when did he leave

**seungkwan** : I THOUGHT HE WAS IN HIS ROOM?!

**Wonwoo** : he’s seeing that girl again

**seungkwan** : ah right

[chat between **seungkwan** and **vernon** ] 

**seungkwan** : you love me right?

**vernon** : no we cannot mail his girlfriend to the north pole

**seungkwan** : ugh

[let meanie get married]  
  


**woozi** : how much time does he have to spend with this girl I swear

**wonwoo** : is he avoiding us or something

**jeonghan** : I doubt he is avoiding us

**vernon** : it feels like he is

**seungkwan** : when is Soonyoung and crew coming home

**jeonghan** : I don’t know

**jeonghan** : knowing Soonyoung he probably decided to splash the cash and spoil the kids

**woozi** : ^^

**wonwoo** : chan’s dates are longer than my life expectancy at this point

**worstparent** : why is he away for so long

**joshua** : wait I think I heard someone come in

**joshua** : oh nevermind it’s mingyu

**mingyu** : we’re back

**the8** : JUN WHERE ARE YOU

**jun** : my room, as always

**the8** : I’m coming to see you

**the8** : give me attention

**hoshi** : so I may have spoilt the kids

**DK** : he bought me so much pizza

**DK** : I had a good time today

**jeonghan** : I’m glad you’re feeling a little better

**DK** : yeah I’m doing better

**worstparent** : that’s good we were worried about you

**DK** : sorry for worrying you all I guess I just broke down?

**worstparent** : don’t apologise! You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for

**joshua** : we’re all just glad you’re feeling better now

**DK** : I’ll be back to normal in a few days

**seungkwan** : what was that noise

**vernon** : door

[??? chat]  
  


**wonwoo** : and so the plot thickens

**jeonghan** : how come?

**joshua** : was that chan that came in?

**wonwoo** : yes and mingyu just told me that he took one look at seokmin and ran straight to his room

**worstparent** : uh that’s strange?

**jun** : okay so he must be acting weird because of seokmin

**woozi** : but seokmin hasn’t done anything

[ **woozi** has added **hoshi** ]

**Hoshi** : so you’ve all noticed the strange behaviour too

**wonwoo** : it’s like he’s avoiding seokmin

**jeonghan** : but he text seokmin yesterday whilst he was crying

**jeonghan** : nothing could’ve happened between then and now so what the hell is going on

**woozi** : I don’t get why he’d be avoiding him

**jeonghan** : the whole situation is strange

**worstparent** : I know it’s his girlfriend or whatever but why is he spending hours with her

**joshua** : he acted weird when I asked him if he was going to see her again

**joshua** : it’s almost as if he’s forcing himself to be with her?

**wonwoo** : but why would he do that

**hoshi** : why would he force himself to be with someone he doesn’t like?

**jeonghan** : I’m going to try and get information from him

**worstparent** : good luck with that

[chat between **jeonghan** and **dino** ] 

**jeonghan** : alright fess up what’s going on

**dino** : what do you mean what’s going on?

**jeonghan** : you’re acting weird and you practically ran away when you saw seokmin

**dino** : I had to go do something

**jeonghan** : what was so urgent?

**dino** : it doesn’t matter

**jeonghan** : I’m worried about you I don’t like that you’re hiding stuff from me

**dino** : jeonghan I’m fine, I just overthought some things but ill be okay

**Jeonghan** : you should’ve told me

**dino** : yeah well it doesn’t matter now

[??? chat]  
  


**jeonghan** : [screenshots attached]

**wonwoo** : why’s he hiding stuff from us

**woozi** : he should know he can always tell us things

**hoshi** : I’m concerned

**joshua** : What has he been overthinking can he just explain

**worstparent** : my brain hurts

[let meanie get married]  
  


**seungkwan** : so I found the mario kart game

**seungkwan** : which one of you fuckers put it in the freezer

**DK** : probably joshua

**joshua** : I did no such thing

**mingyu** : where is wonwoo

**wonwoo** : I’m here what do you need

**mingyu** : what’s the latest

**wonwoo** : there has been zero progress

**jun** : will we ever find out? Probably not

[crisis chat]  
  


**the8** : alright why is everyone acting weird

**DK** : because chan is being weird

**DK** : that’s what i read off jihoon’s phone

**mingyu** : yeah the whole situation is weird and they’re trying to figure out what’s going on

**seungkwan** : what if the kids just going through some sort of crisis

**the8** : seungkwan I highly doubt chan is going through a crisis

**mingyu** : that doesn’t seem like what’s going on so I don’t think he’s in a crisis

**DK** : yeah probably not a crisis

**seungkwan** : okay okay chan’s not in a crisis

[chat between **worst parent** and **dino** ]  
  


**dino** : I am in a crisis.

[??? chat]  
  


**worstparent** : I think we’re about to find out what’s going on with chan

**jeonghan** : if this is to do with mailing people to the North Pole I swear

**joshua** : not that again seungkwan was discussing that earlier with vernon

**hoshi** : so we can’t mail her to the North Pole?

**woozi** : NO.

**worstparent** : anyway

**worstparent** : he just said he’s in a crisis

**wonwoo** : what kind of crisis?

**Jun** : I guess we’ll have to wait until he explains?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was enjoyable enough for everyone :)
> 
> I wonder who put the mario kart game in the freezer?


	9. Why is there a kid in here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worstparent: I’m going to give you one chance to explain why there’s a kid in our dorm
> 
> Jeonghan: what are you talking about?
> 
> Worstparent: why is there a kid sitting in our dorm who looks suspiciously like NCT’s park jisung

[chat between **worstparent** and **Dino** ] 

**dino** : I am in a crisis

**worstparent** : what’s wrong?

**worstparent** : did something happen?

**dino** : nevermind haha

**worstparent** : you’re acting weird

**dino** : it’s fine crisis averted

[??? chat]  
  


**worstparent** : [screenshot attached] he’s being extremely weird

**jeonghan** : not the nervous haha

**woozi** : let’s see what he’s like tomorrow maybe it’ll make sense then?

**wonwoo** : I don’t like that he’s acting weird

**hoshi** : what if something happened

**worstparent** : let’s not think about what ifs right now

**joshua:** jeonghan where are you

**jeonghan** : I was trying to figure out what that yelling was about

**wonwoo** : it’s seungkwan

**joshua** : in that case we dont want to know

**woozi** : and on that note I’m going to bed

**_The following day_ **

[let meanie get married]  
  


**worstparent** : I’m going to give you all one chance to explain why there is a kid in our dorm

**jeonghan** : what

**worstparent** : why is there a kid sitting in our dorm who looks suspiciously like NCT’s park jisung.

**wonwoo** : what on earth are you talking about

**worstparent** : WHY THE HELL IS PARK JISUNG IN OUR DORM

**seungkwan** : I told them it wasn’t a good idea

**joshua** : wait are you suggesting someone kidnapped him and brought him here

**hoshi** : how do we know SM didn’t drop him off themselves

**mingyu** : as if stinky milf entertainment would do that

**worstparent** : mingyu we talked about this

**mingyu** : would you prefer I used saggy milk maker entertainment

**woozi** : some things are better off in the drafts mingyu

**worstparent** : can someone please just explain why we have an NCT member sitting on our sofa

**jun** : it wasn’t my fault I was just dragged into it

**jeonghan** : minghao why did you kidnap him

**the8** : how’d you know it was me that was involved

**jeonghan** : because if anyone else asked jun to participate he would’ve said no

**dino** : are we keeping him or

**joshua** : chan we can’t just keep an NCT member

**wonwoo** : he’s right sooner or later someone will come angrily knocking to have him back

**dino** : but if you say no they can’t legally enter here

**worstparent** : they can when we literally kidnapped one of their kids

**DK** : why is Jisung here

**the8** : I stole him from stinky milf entertainment

**worstparent** : can we please stop referring to SM as stinky milf please

**hoshi** : why not, sounds reasonable

**Seungkwan** : what NCT is this kid from

**Jeonghan** : who the hell knows SM are debuting new NCT units like there’s no tomorrow

**Jeonghan** : next they’ll debut NCT K and it’ll just be the entire fucking industry

**worstparent** : this is all THRILLING however it does not help in figuring out what we’re supposed to do with him

**the8** : isnt it obvious

**the8** : he’s the 14th member

**woozi** : do you want to make it more complicated to explain why there’s not 17 of us

**the8** : well how about I go kidnap some more idols

**worstparent** : NO. We are returning him

**joshua** : good luck with that

**mingyu** : yeah good luck explaining that to sweaty meat entertainment

**Worstparent** : MINGYU.

**mingyu** : sorry I meant sticky milf entertainment

**worstparent** : I swear mingyu I will lock you outside

**dino** : he seems happy here

**dino** : I say we keep him

**jeonghan** : chan we really cannot keep him

**vernon** : who are we talking about

**vernon** : okay nevermind why is Jisung here

**dino** : because salty man entertainment sucks

**Joshua** : what are we actually supposed to do with him

**mingyu** : do you reckon he knows his way back

**worstparent** : mingyu he’s like 18 not 5

**the8** : I’ll return him if that’s what you really want

**seungkwan** : damn return him to shit show money lover entertainment

**worstparent** : SEUNGKWAN.

**seungkwan** : I’d say it again

**seungkwan** : next time I’m going after JYP

**mingyu** : I’ll work on a name for him

**jeonghan** : can someone please just take him back to whoever the hell his leader is

**DK** : we could’ve kept him

**Worstparent** : for the last time

**worstparent** : WE ARE NOT KEEPING PARK JISUNG.

**The8** : damn right then I’ll take him back

**the8** : Jun come with

**jun** : so do we just grab him or

**worstparent** : I truly hate this band

[chat between **jeonghan** and **worstparent** ]

**worstparent** : i hate this band

**jeonghan** : I’m offended

**worstparent** : not you obviously

**worstparent** : why can’t they just be normal and do normal things

**jeonghan** : because Soonyoung exists.

**worstparent** : I’m surprised he wasn’t involved in this

**jeonghan** : he was too busy for that

**worstparent** : please do not elaborate on that

[crisis]  
  


**Seungkwan** : did you really return him

**the8** : yeah they weren’t exactly happy

**DK** : you did kidnap one of their members what did you expect

**the8** : PLEASE THERES LIKE 22 OTHER MEMBERS

**the8** : do they even remember each other’s names

**mingyu** : they only have 10 more members than us

**the8** : and mingyu your point is

**the8** : we still have less

**mingyu** : we still know each other’s names though

**the8** : anyway almost got beaten up

**seungkwan** : why what happened

**The8** : well we returned him however his group or whatever were annoyed that they couldn’t find him anywhere so they told 127 about it so 127 are also not happy with us

**the8** : I expect taeyong will send an angry message

**the8** : which to be fair would make sense as I did tell him to suck a sweaty milf

**DK** : MINGHAO WHAT THE FUCK

**seungkwan** : where the hell was Jun during this

**the8** : arguing with some dude in Chinese

**mingyu** : why the fuck were wayv there?!

**the8** : well I might’ve originally started ranting in Chinese so they called in back up I guess

**seungkwan** : seungcheol is going to kill us I swear

**DK** : HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO UPSET THE ENTIRETY OF NCT BY KIDNAPPING ONE KID

**mingyu** : to be fair it was the maknae 

**mingyu** : we’d be pretty pissed if someone stole chan

**DK** : pissed? More like I would hire a hitman

**seungkwan** : I just heard angry footsteps

**mingyu** : ah shit he knows everyone hide

[chat between s.coups and taeyong]  
  


**Taeyong** : get your kids under control

**s.coups** : look I’m sorry minghao kidnapped Jisung

**taeyong** : HE TOLD ME TO GO SUCK A SWEATY MILF?!?!

**s.coups** : again I can only apologise on behalf of all my idiotic kids

[let meanie get married]  
  


**worstparent** : everyone get in here right now

**wonwoo** : let me guess the neo’s didn’t take the whole kidnapping of their maknae well did they

**worstparent** : minghao how the hell did you manage to upset the whole of NCT

**the8** : look i didn’t ask for wayv or 127 to show up they just did

**jun** : and I didn’t ask to almost fight a Canadian but here we are

**mingyu** : I find it extremely funny he managed to upset 23 people

**hoshi** : does that mean they want to kill us now

**woozi** : most likely yes

**seungkwan** : they’ll get SM on us

**worstparent** : why did you tell taeyong to suck a sweaty milf

**the8** : because I can

**jeonghan** : in conclusion minghao has chosen death for all of us

**jeonghan** : it was nice knowing all of you

[97 liners]  
  


**jaehyun** : WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MINGHAO

**yugyeom** : pls no more arson

**jungkook** : what did he do this time? Set the NCT dorm on fire?

**jaehyun** : HE FUCKING KIDNAPPED JISUNG

**bambam** : how do you just kidnap a maknae

**the8** : easy you grab them and run

**DK** : he also told taeyong to suck a sweaty milf

**jaehyun** : everyone is furious

**jaehyun** : everyone is arguing about who’s fault it was he got kidnapped

**mingyu** : MINGHAO LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE

**the8** : oh no the neo’s are fighting

**jaehyun** : oh nevermind it’s turned into a bullying jungwoo session

**the8** : so who’s maknae can I steal next

**the8** : actually no I’ll just kidnap the entirety of the boyz and become NCT 2.0

**jaehyun** : WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

**DK** : why would we want to become NCT 2.0

**yugyeom** : it’s incredibly amusing that NCT and seventeen now have beef

**jaehyun** : oh do you want to beef us too

**yugyeom** : not particularly no

**bambam** : I’d rather not

**jaehyun** : too bad were now beefing

**jaehyun** : we have a mark and you have a mark make them fight to see who’s better

**mingyu:** bitch were supposed to be the main star of this show 

**Mingyu** : go have beef in your own book

**jaehyun** : what

**jungkook** : what

**yugyeom** : what

**The8** : nothing to see here

**the8** : go back to sweaty milf entertainment

**jaehyun** : I mean you’re not wrong

**jaehyun** : but still I can’t believe you stole jisung

**the8** : chenle’s next

**Yugyeom** : does seungcheol just have no control over any of you

**DK** : precisely

**bambam** : sounds like a great time

[let meanie get married]  
  


**worstparent** : MINGHAO STOP MAKING IT WORSE

**the8** : how did you know I was making it worse

**The8** : oh my god are you secretly a 97 liner

**hoshi** : NCT are actually going to murder us

**Woozi** : I mean if they are can they hurry up so I know whether I should eat or not

**wonwoo** : minghao’s going to make pledis release a statement I swear

**jeonghan** : he’s gone silent what is he up to

**Seungkwan** : where is he

**vernon** : did he go back to fight them

**jun** : I actually have no idea where he went

**joshua** : why can’t you guys just be normal

**hoshi** : seungkwan literally kicked seokmin over on the first day you arrived did you really expect us to be normal

**joshua** : no but I didn’t expect minghao to cause beef with 23 people in one day

**the8** : I’m back

**worstparent** : RETURN ERIC TO THE BOYZ RIGHT NOW.

**woozi** : please we do not need 34 people coming to fight us 

**DK** : I still don’t get how he kidnaps them

**the8** : I grab and run

**worstparent** : WHO THE FUCK TOLD PLEDIS ABOUT THIS

**mingyu** : stinky milf entertainment definitely said something

**worstparent** : MINGYU YOU ARE NOT HELPING

**jeonghan** : you really need to return him to the boyz before we all lose our jobs

**dino** : you mean we can’t keep him either

**joshua** : NO.

**seungkwan** : I cannot wait to lose my job this is so great

**woozi** : what if they just kick him out

**jun** : well then there will only be 12 of us and how the fuck does that make 17

**Wonwoo** : minghao stop stealing other groups maknae pls

**the8** : alright fine I’ll return him

**worstparent** : PLEDIS ARE GOING TO MAKE A STATEMENT BECAUSE OF YOU IDIOTS

**mingyu** : it’s literally hao’s fault

**seungkwan** : will they let us write the statement

**mingyu** : I hope so 

[chat between **mingyu** and **pledis** ]  
  


**mingyu** : I can write the statement

**pledis** : uh okay?

[pledis has tweeted]  
  


“I am very sorry for calling SM entertainment sweaty milf entertainment however personally i think that is more fitting. Minghao is not sorry for kidnapping Jisung so can someone pls calm down the maple syrup Stan like seriously man has been calling like 47 times and none of us actually care enough to answer. Anyway it appears minghao has also kidnapped Eric from the boyz, I don’t know why or how he did that but he did. Chan wants to keep him however seungcheol said no so we’re sending him back. Now here are the reasons why sticky meat entertainment shouldn’t sue us

number one: I exist

number two: we are better than you

number three: I will hire a hitman against you

number four: hoshi will repeatedly scream horanghae in your ears for three days

number five: we are literally the stars of this show

number six: nobody died so frankly idgaf that minghao kidnapped NCT’s maknae

anyway that will be all, lots of love - mingyu”

[let meanie get married]  
  


**dino** : pledis just tweeted a statement

**dino** : [screenshot attached]

**worstparent** : MINGYU WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

**mingyu** : it’s good isn’t it 

**jeonghan** : THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WRITE

**joshua** : we’re actually going to lose our jobs now

**worstparent** : I give up

**worstparent** : I actually give up

**seungkwan** : so who wants to play mario kart I bought a new game

**jeonghan** : SEUNGKWAN.

[SM entertainment has tweeted]

”fuck pledis”

[JYP entertainment has replied]

”yeah fuck them they allowed their crazy kids in our building”

[SM entertainment has replied]

”bitch stfu we don’t like you either”

[pledis has replied]

”not sweaty milf entertainment and dying cat sounding fuck trying to talk”

[let meanie get married]  
  


**worstparent** : WHO THE FUCK IS TWEETING FROM JYP AND SM

**the8** : someone I’ve annoyed I thought that was obvious

**woozi** : is it too late to leave this band like can I just drop out

**woozi** : I physically and emotionally CANNOT do this anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion do not kidnap band members :)  
> I hope you all enjoyed this one it was probably one of my favourites to write and extremely chaotic to add to the already chaotic mess this book is


	10. A whole lot of dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan: Soonyoung are you outside the restaurant.
> 
> Hoshi: what? No
> 
> Vernon: I can literally see you
> 
> Hoshi: that’s wonwoo
> 
> Wonwoo: what.

[let meanie get married]  
  


**jun** : so when do you reckon the company will let us on social media again

**worstparent** : probably never thanks to mingyu

**mingyu** : I still believe pledis should’ve fought SM

**the8** : same.

**DK** : same.

**dino** : same.

**seungkwan** : same

**vernon** : same

**worstparent** : alright I understood it the first time I didn’t need the whole maknae line to repeat it

**mingyu** : lol

**the8** : lol

**worstparent** : STOP.

**seungkwan** : what a kill joy

**seungkwan** : do you think they’d know if I hacked into the account and tweeted that JYP sucks balls

**jeonghan** : definitely

**jeonghan** : am I going to stop you from doing it?

**jeonghan** : absolutely not.

**worstparent** : jeonghan please don’t encourage them

**the8** : so who wants to take hundreds of photos of me posing in my entire wardrobe

**the8** : I’ll pay you

**dino** : how much we talking

**the8** : a dollar

**dino** : fucking cheapskate

**jun** : I’ll do it for free

**dino** : whipped

**jun** : I’ll whip y-

**jun** : NEVERMIND THAT SOUNDS WRONG

**joshua** : I wish for it to be 1 minute ago when I didn’t see that

**mingyu** : what in the fanfic

**DK** : mingyu we are literally-

**worstparent** : what?

**DK** : NOTHING

**the8** : absolutely nothing to see here please return to whatever adult things you do

**seungkwan** : alright I’m going out

**vernon** : I’m also going out

**seungkwan** : we’re going out together

**wonwoo** : just say you’re going to a date

**seungkwan** : no

**seungkwan** : jeonghan might get jealous

**jeonghan** : I have 2 men yet I haven’t been taken on a date yet I find this absolutely insulting

**seungkwan** : see.

**mingyu** : why don’t you take them on a date??

**jeonghan** : I’m not the one with the bank card mingyu

**worstparent** : damn okay we’ll take you on a date tomorrow 

**joshua** : I’m busy tomorrow

**worstparent** : THEN CANCEL.

**joshua** : suddenly I am free

**hoshi** : you guys have the weirdest relationship

**jeonghan** : Jihoon is dating a furry you can’t say shit

**woozi** : yeah and what about it

**woozi** : he’s cute stfu

[chat between **woozi** and **Hoshi** ] 

**hoshi** : I’m going to stalk seungkwan and Vernon on their date

**woozi** : why?

**hoshi** : funny

**woozi** : just don’t get caught or seungkwan will be angry

**hoshi** : I’m not going to get caught

[let meanie get married]

**seungkwan** : Soonyoung are you standing outside the restaurant?

**hoshi** : what? No

**vernon** : I can literally see you

**hoshi** : thats wonwoo

**wonwoo** : what.

**mingyu** : don’t bring wonwoo into this he’s busy

**Jun** : god that is DISGUSTING

**jun** : mingyu pls shut up we don’t want to know

**mingyu** : we’re watching a film oh my god

**mingyu** : get your nasty ass out the gutter

**jun** : I CAN HEAR YOU.

**wonwoo** : it’s the film

**jun** : IT IS NOT THE FUCKING FILM

**vernon** : so uh back to the part where Soonyoung is outside the restaurant

**jeonghan** : Soonyoung why are you watching them on a date

**hoshi** : funny

**seungkwan** : I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE

**worstparent** : NO.

**dino** : where the hell is the mario kart game

**the8** : I thought seungkwan bought another one because someone put it on the freezer

**dino** : well I can’t find it

**dino** : this is the second worst day of my life

**woozi** : what’s the first?

**dino** : uh we don’t need to talk about that

**joshua** : not again

**dino** : what

**joshua** : nothing

[crisis]

**DK** : what do you reckon the worst day of his life was

**the8** : meeting me :)

**Seungkwan** : joining this band

**DK** : the band isn’t that bad

**seungkwan** : I have been set on fire and someone broke my favourite game how is that not bad

**The8** : well sorry I couldn’t freeze you I’m not Elsa

**mingyu** : why are you all spamming

**the8** : mingyu we all know you aren’t watching a film

**seungkwan** : what’s he doing

**DK** : he’s busy with wonwoo

**seungkwan** : that’s disgusting

**The8** : hey thats Jun’s line

**seungkwan** : well would you rather I said oh dear that sounds absolutely atrocious I am going to be scarred for the next 7 days oh my

**the8** : no.

**the8** : just no.

**DK** : why is the mario kart game under the rug

**seungkwan** : someones trying to hide it clearly

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ]  
  
 **DK** : I found the mario kart game

**DK** : someone hid it under the rug

**dino** : thank you!! I’ve been looking everywhere for it

**DK** : you’re welcome :)

**dino** : so do you want to play mario kart with me?

**DK** : of course

**dino** : yay :))

[crisis]  
  


**DK** : disturb me and you’re dead

**the8** : oh sorry didn’t realise you were seungcheol now

**seungkwan** : nah sounds more like pledis bosses after mingyu tweeted about sweaty milf entertainment

**mingyu** : and I’d do it again

**DK** : I’m playing mario kart with chan don’t ruin this for me

**the8** : oh my god is this PROGRESS?!?!

**seungkwan** : aren’t you forgetting he still has a girlfriend

**mingyu** : I know a guy that can get rid of her

**the8** : I can help

**seungkwan** : I’m telling seungcheol

**mingyu** : snitch

[let meanie get married]  
  


**seungkwan** : SEUNGCHEOL

**mingyu** : NO IGNORE HIM

**seungkwan** : NO IGNORE HIM

**mingyu** : DONT LISTEN TO HIM HES FULL OF SHIT

**seungkwan** : MINGYU SHUT UP

**worstparent** : what is it

**seungkwan** : mingyu’s trying to hire a hitman again

**worstparent** : mingyu we’ve talked about this several times

**jeonghan** : not again

**joshua** : please not this conversation again

**seungkwan** : see mingyu we can’t do that

**mingyu** : you’re still a snitch

**DK** : SHUT THE FUCK UP

**wonwoo** : damn what’s gotten into him

**The8** : mario kart

**jeonghan** : ah of course

**jeonghan** : the game that ends friendships within 5 minutes

**woozi** : isn’t that monopoly

**worstparent** : DO NOT MENTION MONOPOLY IN THIS HOUSE

**joshua** : you cheated last time

**worstparent** : I don’t cheat at monopoly

**hoshi** : you definitely took extra money

**wonwoo** : and here we go again

[chat between **the8** and **jun** ] 

**jun** : we’re going out

**the8** : are we? To where exactly

**jun** : anywhere but here

**the8** : valentines isn’t until the 14th

**jun** : why am I to be restricted to one day a year to do something nice for you

**the8** : says the man who screams disgusting when anyone does anything remotely romantic

**jun** : you’re different from them

**jun** : I don’t want to see them being all over each other it’s gross

**jun** : I didn’t say I didn’t want to be like that with you

**The8** : basically you’re whipped

**jun** : perhaps you could say that

**the8** : okay fine I’ll come with you wherever it is we’re going

**jun** : thank you

[crisis]  
  


**the8** : guess who’s doing something ROMANTIC

**seungkwan** : does painting your boyfriends nails count as romantic

**mingyu** : WHY WONT WONWOO DO THIS SHIT WITH ME

**seungkwan** : ask him and he might

**DK** : why don’t I get to do this with anyone

**mingyu** : because chan’s being Hetero

**the8** : anyways back to what I was saying

**the8** : Jun’s taking me somewhere idk where but he said it’s romantic

**seungkwan** : romantic date where Jun takes you to a lake to watch the stars then shoves you in and drives off

**Mingyu** : seungkwan what the actual hell

**DK** : it was all sounding good until the last part

**the8** : SEUNGKWAN, JUN IS NOT GOING TO DROWN ME IN A LAKE

**the8** : why must you ruin everything

**seungkwan** : that’s showbiz

**mingyu** : i hate it here

[chat between **worstparent** , **Joshua** and **jeonghan** ]  
  


**worstparent** : how about I take you both for dinner tonight so nobody can complain

**jeonghan** : now that sounds like a fun idea

**joshua** : where are we going

**worstparent** : I’ll look online and see where we could go

**jeonghan** : where is minghao I need him to choose my outfit 

**joshua** : wait are you wearing something fancy

**joshua** : because I need to know so I can dress accordingly

**jeonghan** : I DONT KNOW I CANT FIND MINGHAO FOR FASHION ADVICE

**worstparent** : you don’t need to dress fancy

**jeonghan** : I AM TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU

**joshua** : I AM ALSO TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU

**worstparent** : you’re fine the way you’re dressed, you impress me everyday anyway

**jeonghan** : WE ARE GETTING MARRIED

**joshua** : PROPOSE RIGHT NOW

**worstparent** : IM NOT PROPOSING TONIGHT

**jeonghan** : tomorrow night ;)

**worstparent** : if I say I’ll think about it will you stop going on about it

**joshua** : WE’RE GOING TO GET MARRIED

**jeonghan** : I’LL START PLANNING TONIGHT

**worstparent** : IT WAS ONE COMPLIMENT PLS

[chat between **woozi** and **hoshi** ]  
  
 **hoshi** : will you be back soon :(

**woozi** : in about an hour

**woozi** : is everything alright?

**hoshi** : everyone’s doing couple-y stuff

**hoshi** : even chan and seokmin look like they’re doing couple-y stuff and they aren’t even a couple

**hoshi** : I miss you

**woozi** : I’m coming home

**hoshi** : really?!

**woozi** : yes really

**woozi** : we can do whatever you want when I get home okay?

**hoshi** : I love you

**woozi** : I love you too

[crisis]  
  


**DK** : uh did anyone hear Soonyoung squeal

**seungkwan** : that’s what that noise was?

**mingyu** : what’s he so excited about

**DK** : I have no idea

**DK** : where is everyone and what are they doing

**seungkwan** : the parents have went for dinner, Jun is drowning hao in a lake, who knows what soonhoon are up to, mingyu and wonwoo are cuddling, vernon is painting my nails.

**DK** : why do you know all of that

**mingyu** : yeah how did you know I was cuddling with wonwoo

**seungkwan** : you stopped being annoying

**Mingyu** : HEY!

**seungkwan** : seokmin what are you doing

**DK** : watching a film with chan

**seungkwan** : did you fight over mario kart or something

**DK** : no I let him win

**Mingyu** : WHIPPED

**DK** : kinda sucks that everyone’s doing things in couples

**DK** : I’m just here like hi I exist

**seungkwan** : I’m surprised chan didn’t go visit his *lovely* girlfriend

**mingyu** : yeah that’s weird

**seungkwan** : maybe she’s busy

**DK** : WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS IN HERE

**mingyu** : me I was

**mingyu** : setting the mood 

**DK** : we aren’t together

**mingyu** : his girlfriend sure would flip if she saw you in that position

**seungkwan** : wait what’s going on

**mingyu** : cuddling

**DK** : and so what I cuddle everyone

**DK** : besides he chose to sit like this

**seungkwan** : now that is SUSPICIOUS

**the8** : who wants to hear about my romantic evening with the most handsome man on the planet

**mingyu** : didn’t realise seokjin took you out

**DK** : Hes going to set you on fire for that

**the8** : anyway I have chosen to ignore that

**the8** : WE LOOKED AT STARS WHICH WAS SO ROMANTIC

**The8** : AND THEN WE CUDDLED FOR A BIT

**Seungkwan** : and then you did it at the side of the lake

**The8** : NO OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING

**mingyu** : seungkwan shut up

**mingyu** : please continue

**the8** : anyway

**the8** : HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME

**DK** : OH MY GOD

**mingyu** : I’m happy for you

**seungkwan** : so he didn’t throw you in a lake

**The8** : NO!

**seungkwan** : I’m joking I’m very happy for you

[let meanie get married]  
  


**jeonghan** : so I’m glad to see nobody set the dorm on fire whilst we were gone

**wonwoo** : everyone was basically on dates

**hoshi** : why’s everyone so quiet

**seungkwan** : people are sleeping

**jeonghan** : if any of you dare wake up Joshua I will kill you

**jeonghan** : do not disturb him

**mingyu** : today was fun for once

**worstparent** : nobody managed to upset any other company for once

**the8** : I mean I still have mark lee’s shoe in my closet

**worstparent** : and i spoke too soon

**the8** : I mean he hasn’t asked for it back so

**woozi** : how did you get his shoe

**the8** : easy. Grab and yank

**jun** : he started complaining that his leg was going to come off

**The8** : don’t worry his leg didn’t come off

**worstparent** : I’m glad to hear

[crisis] 

**DK** : CRISIS CRISIS CRISIS

**DK** : please help

**seungkwan** : what

**mingyu** ; what did you do

**the8** : why am i scared to know

**DK** : CHAN FELL ASLEEP ON ME

**DK** : WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW

**mingyu** : well you’re kind of stuck there now

**seungkwan** : yeah you’re stuck there

**seungkwan** : you just got to let him sleep

**the8** : basically just enjoy it?

**DK** : YOU GUYS ARE SO USELESS

[chat between **DK** and **hoshi** ] 

**DK** : SOONYOUNG HELP

**hoshi** : I’ll bring you guys a blanket

**DK** : how did you

**hoshi** : i could tell

**DK** : thank you though

**hoshi** : you need anything else?

**DK** : I don’t think so

**DK** : maybe the ability to not freak out right now

**hoshi** : calm down just embrace the moment

**Hoshi** : you never know when it’ll happen again

**DK** : okay I will

**hoshi** : I’ll come through with the blanket in a second :)

**DK** : thanks :)

  
  
[seventeen has tweeted]  
”stole a Canadians shoe the other day going to add it to my collection”  
  


[NCT has replied]  
”GIVE ME BACK MY SHOE”

[let meanie get married]  
  


**worstparent** : MINGHAO STOP AGGRAVATING THE NEO’S

**woozi** : we’re not going to talk about how he has a collection?

**woozi** : what other stolen shoes do you have

**the8** : I stole a random boot that time I went to the stray kids dorm

**the8** : I also have a converse belonging to sungchan

**the8** : a shoe belonging to jungkook

**the8** : a pink converse I stole from txt

**the8** : a random shoe which I’m pretty sure I stole off one of the boyz

**the8** : I think I have a shoe belonging to someone from ateez too

**worstparent** : I’m sorry but HOW THE FUCK

**the8** : I’m going from Taehyung’s shoe next I could sell that for a fortune

**jeonghan** : MINGHAO NO MORE SHOE STEALING

**the8** : I’m starting a collection jeonghan shut up

**worstparent** : please just stop

[pledis has tweeted]

”I am not sorry for stealing shoes belonging to half the industry, please stop trying to call me about it I will not answer. Also whilst I’m here SM I will burn your building down, JYP you sound like a dying cat and YG uh I don’t know we just hate you lol - the8”

[JYP has replied]

”return the boot. Kids are crying”

[SM entertainment has replied]

”ill sue if you don’t return the shoes

[pledis has replied to SM entertainment]

”calm down no need for that behaviour. I’ll sell them on eBay auction buy them back if you want them so bad”

[let meanie get married]

**worstparent** : STOP TWEETING FROM THE PLEDIS ACCOUNT OH MY GOD

**the8** : but it’s funny

**jeonghan** : THEY ARE GOING TO SUE US?!

**seungkwan** : I thought SM didn’t care about their idols why are they pressed

**the8** : anyway who wants to buy sungchan’s used converse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would recommend checking out minghao’s ebay auction - 50% off mark lee’s used (left) shoe and an even further reduction on the used (right) boot from stray kids!
> 
> I hope this was enjoyable enough for you all! If it was then you’ll be glad to know I’m extending how many chapters this book will have :)


	11. It’s over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dino: we broke up
> 
> Jeonghan: why?
> 
> Mingyu: is now a reasonable time to hire a hitman?
> 
> Worstparent: NO.

[let meanie get married]  
  


 **mingyu** : so I walk into the lounge this morning

 **seungkwan** : is this another one of your boring stories

 **mingyu** : shut up and let me speak

 **seungkwan** : alright get on with it

 **mingyu** : seokmin and chan are still sleeping on the sofa

 **mingyu** : ITS CUTE

 **hoshi** : yeah and your ranting is going to wake them up

 **jeonghan** : did I miss a few chapters or something

 **the8** : no chan just fell asleep on seokmin and he was stuck there

 **worstparent** : I’m coming to see this

 **woozi** : same

 **joshua** : yeah me too

 **mingyu** : you’re going to wake them up shush

 **wonwoo** : I mean idk about anyone else but I don’t think I’d enjoy waking up to find Atleast 3 people staring at me

 **vernon** : why are you all watching them sleep

 **jun** : why are you guys so weird just let them sleep

 **hoshi** : they’re just sleeping it’s not anything major

 **jeonghan** : shut up Soonyoung

 **worstparent** : ABORT ABORT

 **seungkwan** : you woke them up didn’t you

 **worstparent** : nothing weird was happening there

 **joshua** : we’re a figment of their imagination

 **DK** : we can literally read this

 **dino** : ew don’t watch me sleep

 **dino** : I don’t come into your rooms when you’re sleeping and watch you

 **worstparent** : how do we know that

 **worstparent** : we’re asleep

 **dino** : because I’m not weird

 **vernon** : is this going to turn into an argument because if so I’m going to go watch cat videos

 **dino** : that reminds me I have something I need to do today

 **DK** : don’t leave :(

 **dino** : it’s important though

 **dino** : I’ll see you when I get back

 **DK** : okay then

[crisis]  
  


 **DK** : it is very much not okay.

 **the8** : figured

 **seungkwan** : you’re going to need to get over him at some point you know

 **mingyu** : basically don’t fall for straight men or you'll keel over and die 

**DK** : thanks for that mingyu

 **seungkwan** : did you guys know that one directions best song ever isn’t actually about dancing

 **the8** : why are you listening to one direction

 **seungkwan** : because why not who are you to judge

 **mingyu** : I cannot do this today

 **DK** : what if I just steal someone else’s man

 **The8** : Jihoon would beat you the fuck up

 **DK** : how did you

 **the8** : YOU LITERALLY HAD A CRUSH ON HIM FOR 2 YEARS BEFORE CHAN

 **DK** : YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO LOUD ABOUT IT

 **seungkwan** : I’m sorry WHAT

 **mingyu** : WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS

 **DK** : IT WASN’T IMPORTANT

 **the8** : basically seokmin probably had a crush on all of us at some point

 **seungkwan** : seokmin pls did you want an orgy or something

 **mingyu** : NOT A FUCKING ORGY PLS

 **mingyu** : no offence to anyone who enjoys participating in orgies I simply just do not want to think about doing anything with my parental figures thank you very much

 **seungkwan** : they have a threesome every saturday

 **DK** : SEUNGKWAN THEY ARE LITERALLY IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP TF DO YOU WANT THEM TO DO??

 **seungkwan** : no you misunderstand

 **seungkwan** : the threesome isn’t the issue it’s the fact it’s EVERY saturday 7pm without fail

 **the8** : I’m concerned as to why you know this 

**mingyu** : he has a sixth sense

 **the8** : which is what

 **the8** : sensing when jeonghan is getting railed?

 **DK** : CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS

[ **seungkwan** has added **vernon** ]

 **the8** : WHY DID YOU ADD HIM

 **the8** : the innocent child just wants to watch cat videos

 **vernon** : I did not expect to enter this chat to a conversation about jeonghan getting railed

 **DK** : I tried to tell them to stop

 **seungkwan** : anyway can we change the name to something other than crisis

 **mingyu** : do you reckon the others have a chat without us

 **DK** : I’ll ask soonyoung

[chat between **DK** and **hoshi** ]

 **DK** : do all you old people have a groupchat without us

 **hoshi** : I’m literally 8 months older than you I’m not that old

 **DK** : you know what I mean

 **hoshi** : why are you asking

 **DK** : just curious

 **hoshi** : we do but it’s boring

 **hoshi** : usually the parents complaining or being stressed about something

 **DK** : well that sucks

[crisis]  
  


 **DK** : they do but Soonyoung said it’s boring

 **seungkwan** : I reckon they actually use it to talk about ways to get rid of us and make it seem like an accident

 **the8** : okay jeez you’ve been spending too much time with weird people

 **mingyu** : wonwoo would never

 **vernon** : wonwoo probably doesn’t participate

 **DK** : when will chan come home

 **seungkwan** : do I look like a clock to you

 **mingyu** : what is he even doing

[ **the8** has changed the group name to **kids** ] 

**DK** : well that doesn’t sound weird what so ever

 **the8** : their chat is probably called parents or something

 **mingyu** : WONWOO IS NOT MY PARENT PLS DO NOT SAY THAT

 **the8** : OH SHIT IGNORE IGNORE

 **the8** : IM NOT DATING MY PARENT

 **vernon** : and this is why I spend all my time watching cat videos

 **seungkwan** : wait does he know about the seokmin probable orgy situation

 **DK** : STOP CALLING IT THAT

 **mingyu** : not orgies again

 **vernon** : seokmin what the hell

 **the8** : basically seokmin used to have a massive crush on Soonyoung before he moved onto chan so I assumed he probably had a crush on all of us at some point

 **DK** : I WAS GOING THROUGH A CRISIS LEAVE ME ALONE

 **seungkwan** : and so you were attracted to a furry

 **DK** : anyway we’re strictly platonic soulmates

 **vernon** : good dont steal anyone else’s man

 **mingyu** : and don’t fall for anymore straight men

 **DK** : how was I supposed to know he was straight??

[let meanie get married]  
  


 **dino** : we broke up

 **jeonghan** : why?

 **mingyu** : is now an acceptable time to hire a hitman?

 **worstparent** : NO.

 **hoshi** : why did you guys break up

 **hoshi** : is everything okay??

 **woozi** : I hope everything’s okay

 **jun** : Jihoon being nice what a shocker

 **woozi** : don’t make me floor you.

 **dino** : everything’s fine

 **joshua** : are you sure

 **dino** : yeah, things just weren’t working out to I broke things off

 **The8** : that sucks, you’ll find someone else though

[???]  
  


 **jeonghan** : WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO NOW

 **woozi** : this must be why he was acting weird

 **worstparent** : do you think he’ll be alright

 **wonwoo** : he didn’t seem too upset or bothered about it so I’d say so

 **Hoshi** : you know what this means

 **joshua** : Soonyoung no.

 **jeonghan** : don’t get his hopes up again

 **jeonghan** : you seen how he was last time I don’t want to have see him go through another heartbreak

 **worstparent** : absolutely not. Do not get any ideas

 **jun** : well then one of you find seokmin a boyfriend

 **jeonghan** : Jun do I look like a dating app to you

 **jeonghan** : I can’t magically find seokmin a guy

 **joshua** : what even is his type

 **woozi** : chan.

 **worstparent** : well that’s extremely helpful

[kids]  
  


 **DK** : someone play mario kart with me

 **the8** : I’m watching a film with Jun

 **mingyu** : wonwoo’s taking me out somewhere

 **seungkwan** : I’m busy

 **vernon** : I’m also busy

 **seungkwan** : we’re being busy together

 **DK** : alright fine ill ask chan

[operation seokchan]  
  


 **The8** : he fell for it

 **mingyu** : I can’t believe he actually thought we were being sociable

 **seungkwan** : this better work

 **vernon** : it will work as long as seokmin doesn’t mess up the opportunity

 **hoshi** : good work everyone

 **mingyu** : thank you captain hoshi

 **vernon** : are we seriously referring to him as that

 **seungkwan** : yes unfortunately.

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ]

 **DK** : do you want to play mario kart with me?

 **dino** : I thought seungkwan would want to play

 **DK** : he’s busy with vernon

 **DK** : please?

 **dino** : alright I’ll be there in a second

 **DK** : yay :)

[chat between **hoshi** and **woozi** ]

 **woozi** : is there any particular reason you’re sneaking around

 **hoshi** : I’m not sneaking around

 **woozi** : then why are you tiptoeing and wearing all black

 **hoshi** : I’m being considerate to the sleeping people

 **woozi** : it’s the middle of the day.

 **hoshi** : and people are sleeping somewhere

 **woozi** : seriously why are you acting strange

 **hoshi** : alright fine I’m the captain of the seokchan operation

 **woozi** : jeonghan is going to murder you if he finds out what you’re up to

 **hoshi** : jeonghan wants to murder me any day what’s the difference

 **woozi** : I just don’t want this backfiring and you getting upset

[operation seokchan]  
  


 **hoshi** : Jihoon knows

 **the8** : it’s been like 10 minutes you had one job

 **seungkwan** : we’re going to get found out

 **mingyu** : what happened to keeping it on the down low

 **hoshi** : I’m sorry he was asking too many questions

[???]  
  


 **jeonghan** : SOONYOUNG WHAT DID WE TELL YOU???

 **worstparent** : you have got to be kidding me

 **hoshi** : I was just trying to help

 **jeonghan** : YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE HIM UPSET AGAIN

 **Worstparent** : honestly one ask and you just have to go against it as always

 **hoshi** : im sorry :(

 **wonwoo** : is he crying

 **woozi** : I’ll check on him

 **woozi** : YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING YELL AT HIM

 **woozi** : I’m disappointed in both of you

 **joshua** : why would you yell at him oh my god

 **joshua** : you know what Soonyoung’s like he’d drop everything to give seokmin the thing he wanted it was obvious he’d do this

 **jeonghan** : I’m sorry

 **worstparent** : I’m sorry

 **joshua** : it’s him you should be apologising to not me.

 **woozi** : just leave him alone right now I can’t believe you’d just yell at him like that

 **Wonwoo** : that was a dick move guys

 **wonwoo** : he’s only trying to help seokmin

 **jeonghan** : I know I feel terrible now

 **worstparent** : me too

 **woozi** : good.

[chat between **DK** and **woozi** ]

 **DK** : is Soonyoung okay?

 **DK** : I just seen him crying

 **woozi** : don’t worry about it he’ll be okay

 **woozi** : jeonghan and seungcheol just decided to yell at him for trying to be nice

 **DK** : what the hell

 **DK** : why would they yell at him

 **woozi** : because they didn’t think it was a good idea

 **DK** : they can’t just yell at him like that especially not to the point where he’s crying

 **woozi** : I know I know I yelled at them too for it

[let meanie get married]  
  


 **DK** : I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU

 **wonwoo** : seokmin.

 **DK** : WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MAKE HIM CRY THATS SO MESSED UP

 **woozi** : seokmin please.

 **DK** : I HOPE YOU BOTH HAVE A SHITTY DAY BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT

 **mingyu** : seokmin please calm down.

 **DK** : DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. I’M ANGRY.

 **Jeonghan** : seokmin I’m sorry

 **DK** : I DONT CARE.

 **worstparent** : please just calm down and we can talk about it like adults

 **DK** : I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

 **dino** : seokmin come on there’s no point in arguing come and find me and we can talk instead?

 **DK** : okay

[chat between **hoshi** and **DK** ]

 **hoshi** : you really didn’t have to do that

 **DK** : they made you cry thats horrible

 **hoshi** : I should’ve listened to them it’s my fault

 **DK** : it’s not your fault Jihoon said you were trying to help and do something nice

 **hoshi** : I was but I don’t know if it’ll even be worth it

 **DK** : I’m sure whatever it is will be

 **DK** : I’ll come see you later when I’m calmer okay

 **hoshi** : no it’s okay go hang out with chan, you can cheer each other up :)

 **DK** : if you’re sure then okay :)

[chat between **jeonghan** and **worstparent** ] 

**jeonghan** : we’ve severely messed up

 **worstparent** : we need to fix this

 **jeonghan** : I’ll try when Jihoon stops giving me death glares

 **worstparent** : yeah we really need to fix this before someone gets murdered

 **jeonghan** : I don’t know what made me yell at him like that now he’s crying, jihoon wants to kill me and joshua won’t even look at me

 **worstparent** ; Joshua will come around, everyone else we just have to apologise

 **jeonghan** : I guess

[chat between **wonwoo** and **mingyu** ]

 **mingyu** : I don’t particularly enjoy this tense atmosphere I feel like someone’s going to start yelling again at any moment

 **mingyu** : seokmin’s kind of scary when he’s angry like I’m so used to him being the living sun and suddenly it’s like he wants to murder jeonghan

 **wonwoo** : he’ll calm down eventually. You know how much he cares about Soonyoung they practically used to be joint at the hip before so it’s not really surprising how angry he got

 **mingyu** : I suppose so. I just feel on edge i guess

 **wonwoo** : you need a hug?

 **mingyu** : please.

 **wonwoo** : omw 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was enjoyable enough! :)
> 
> Oh no more drama!  
> I swear they’ll go back to being wholesome again I promise. Also seokchan is coming soon I’m working on it.


	12. Seungkwan saves the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan: GROUP MEETING
> 
> DK: what why?
> 
> Joshua: why?
> 
> Seungkwan: because this is getting ridiculous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I’m a friend of the owners updating for you all as they are currently dealing with personal issues. They will be back soon but in the meantime I’ll be updating for you all so you guys won’t miss out :)

**  
[jeonghan, worstparent chat]**

**jeonghan:** I tried to sort things out with Soonyoung but Jihoon glared at me again

 **worstparent** : I haven’t had much luck either

 **worstparent** : seokmin practically barged past me this morning

 **jeonghan** : the atmosphere in here is horrible

 **jeonghan** : I swear I heard someone else crying last night

 **worstparent** : we’ve really messed up this time and we need to fix it

 **jeonghan** : I’ll try to talk to Joshua

 **worstparent** : good idea

[ **dino** , **worstparent** chat]

 **dino** : I don’t hate you but I’m severely disappointed.

 **worstparent** : I know, I deserve it

 **dino** : Jihoon is still very angry

 **dino** : I managed to calm seokmin down slightly but he might still hate your guts

 **worstparent** : I’m pretty sure he does

 **dino** : you better fix this. It’s upsetting everyone

 **worstparent** : we will

 **dino** : well get on with it then the atmosphere in this dorm is terrible

[ **kids** ]  
  


**seungkwan** : well the atmosphere in here is terrible

 **the8** : tell me about it

 **the8** : someone was crying last night but I still don’t know who

 **mingyu** : oh uh was I that loud

 **the8** : oh my god mingyu are you okay

 **mingyu** : I’m okay now everything was just really horrible last night

 **mingyu** : wonwoo was with me so don’t worry

 **vernon** : I wish everyone would just sort out this mess

 **The8** : anyone know where seokmin is?

 **Mingyu** : I haven’t seen him

 **vernon** : maybe he went out?

 **mingyu** : I’ll text him and see

[ **mingyu** , **DK** chat]

**Mingyu** : where are you?

 **DK** : out with chan, why?

 **mingyu** : I was just wondering because I hadn’t seen you

 **DK** : I needed to get away from whatever mess I’ve involved myself in

 **DK** : I care too much thats my problem

 **mingyu** : okay maybe you took it a bit far but it’s good you care about people

 **DK** : now it probably looks like I still have a massive crush on him

 **mingyu** : seokmin stop worrying

 **mingyu** : you overthink too much

 **DK** : why didn’t I just shut up

 **mingyu** : because no matter who it was you’d have done the same thing that’s just what you’re like

 **DK** : I guess but now everyone’s tense and it’s partly my fault

 **mingyu** : if they hadn’t yelled at him we wouldn’t be in this situation so no it’s not your fault

 **DK** : I still feel guilty

 **mingyu** : look enjoy doing whatever it is you’re doing with chan and we’ll sort this all out later okay?

 **DK** : okay

[ **kids** ]  
  


**mingyu** : he’s out with chan

 **the8** : what a date?

 **mingyu** : no I don’t think so

 **vernon** : is that more shouting I can hear

 **the8** : sounds like Jihoon and jeonghan

 **seungkwan** : oh for goodness sake not again

 **mingyu** : where the hell is Joshua in this

 **vernon** : Joshua is ignoring both jeonghan and seungcheol

 **The8** : oh how helpful of him

 **mingyu** : come quickly they’re fighting

 **the8** : ah shit let me get Jun and wonwoo

[ **the8** , **Jun** , **wonwoo** chat] 

**the8** : there’s a fight

 **the8** : please come quickly

 **jun** : what are you alright??

 **wonwoo** : is mingyu okay??

 **the8** : yes we’re fine it’s Jihoon and jeonghan and possibly seungcheol who are fighting

 **jun** : I’ll be there in a second

 **wonwoo** : get someone to check on Soonyoung will you minghao

 **the8** : I’ll go

  
[let meanie get married]  
  


**seungkwan** : GROUP MEETING

 **DK** : what, why?

 **joshua** : why?

 **seungkwan** : because this is getting ridiculous now

 **seungkwan** : can you all stop trying to kill each other

 **dino** : what the hell is going on now

 **dino** : why are Jihoon and jeonghan trying to strangle each other

 **joshua** : JEONGHAN GET THE FUCK OFF HIM

 **jeonghan** : I’m sorry

 **mingyu** : I was not expecting those words to come out of joshuas mouth

 **seungkwan** : can you all just get in here so we can try and sort this shit out

 **seungkwan** : first of all the drama between jeonghan, seungcheol and soonyoung 

**worstparent** : I’m sorry for yelling soonyoung

 **jeonghan** : I’m also sorry for yelling that was a really shitty thing to do

 **hoshi** : it’s okay I forgive you it was partly my fault too

 **woozi** : jeonghan I’m sorry for on behalf of Soonyoung trying to kill you

 **jeonghan** : I’m sorry for trying to suffocate you

 **seungkwan** : very good now the whole parental figure drama I have no idea what the hell is going on between you three but you better make up soon or you’re going to miss your saturday night schedule

 **joshua** : I’m sorry for ignoring you both I should’ve let you talk to me about it but I was being stupid

 **jeonghan** : Joshua it’s fine I wouldn’t have spoke to me either

 **worstparent** : Joshua you don’t have anything to be sorry for were the ones who were in the wrong here

 **joshua** : no I just feel bad because I ignored you for a whole day and I don’t want you to think I don’t love you anymore

 **worstparent** : we would never think that

 **jeonghan** : Joshua don’t be silly of course we wouldn’t think you don’t love us

 **seungkwan** : finally some good progress here, I should literally be a mediator

 **mingyu** : isn’t that those people that do the whole relaxing thing

 **the8** : imbecile.

 **the8** : THATS A MEDITATOR

 **mingyu** : oh nevermind carry on seungkwan

 **seungkwan** : lastly seokmin do you have anything to say?

 **DK** : I’m sorry for involving myself and yelling at everyone I shouldn’t have done that

 **seungkwan** : AT LAST PEACE HAS BEEN MADE

 **dino** : seungkwan it’s been a day

 **wonwoo** : At least there won’t be anymore arguing

 **wonwoo** : I hope

 **Jun** : no more arguing or ill skin you

 **hoshi** : ew gross

 **woozi** : why has so much food just arrived here

 **DK** : who can’t work the app

 **hoshi** : so I might’ve ordered 30 instead of 3

 **vernon** : how do you accidentally do that

 **hoshi** : I can’t count

 **seungkwan** : you will share it right

 **mingyu** : we could do a idk how many date

 **wonwoo** : well there’s 5 couples so a quintuple date

 **DK** : alright then just rub it in that all you guys are in happy relationships

 **dino** : this isn’t fair I want a relationship

 **seungkwan** : then get a new girlfriend

 **dino** : so about that

 **dino** : I like men.

 **mingyu** : what

 **the8** : hold on what

 **vernon** : I’m sorry

 **jeonghan** : well that was a plot twist

 **dino** : yeah that’s why we broke up

 **hoshi** : HE HAD A GAY AWAKENING

 **woozi** : how do I process this

 **woozi** : I’m not sure I’m over seokmin’s gay awakening yet

 **DK** : how are you still not over that

 **woozi** : because you permanently act like you’ve just had the awakening

[ **kids** ] 

**the8** : seokmin did you just squeal

 **DK** : absolutely not

 **mingyu** : yes you did

 **vernon** : you definitely did

 **seungkwan** : GO GET HIM

 **DK** : I need you all to get out your calendars

 **mingyu** : uh okay?

 **DK** : and mark this one of the best days in lee seokmin’s life

 **the8** : shouldn’t we wait till you actually get in a relationship

 **DK** : no that will be the GREATEST day

 **seungkwan** : now if you don’t make a move I’ll do it for you

 **mingyu** : seungkwan no

 **seungkwan** : seungkwan yes

[ **jeonghan** , **Dino** chat]

**jeonghan** : so you had the gay awakening

 **jeonghan** : I knew it would happen sooner or later considering you live with 11 little bitch boys and their furry

 **dino** : did you just refer to yourself as a little bitch boy

 **jeonghan** : yes but that’s a conversation for another time

 **jeonghan** : but I say 11 little bitch boys however some of us are more than others

 **dino** : i swear if you’re going to give me the talk jeonghan I will throw myself down 12 flights of stairs

 **jeonghan** : would you rather seungcheol did it

 **dino** : NO.

 **jeonghan** : anyway now that you’ve had the gay awakening you will start to realise that none of us have done a straight thing in our lives

 **jeonghan** : especially me :)

 **dino** : why must I suffer through this

 **jeonghan** : would you rather I went straight into discussing bdsm or

 **dino** : I will seriously block you

[let meanie get married]  
  


**dino** : can someone please stop jeonghan from texting me about how gay everyone is and bdsm

 **hoshi** : ooh bdsm

 **woozi** : SOONYOUNG.

 **hoshi** : I mean haha what’s that

 **dino** : YOU FUCKERS I KNOW WHAT BDSM IS AND QUITE FRANKLY IM NOW DISTURBED

 **mingyu** : jeonghan please he doesn’t need to learn about bdsm on the first day

 **wonwoo** : and if you thought this chat couldn’t get any worse you have soonhoon openly admitting they participate in bdsm

 **woozi** : WE DONT.

 **hoshi** : YES WE DO

 **woozi** : SHUT UP SOONYOUNG

 **DK** : what the fuck.

 **jeonghan** : I felt it was important he knew about it

 **dino** : I already know about it

 **dino** : I already know about ALL of it

 **jeonghan** : how the fuck

 **dino** : the internet exists.

 **jun** : god that was DISGUSTING

 **jun** : my fucking eyes wish to unread

 **the8** : right well thank you chan for sharing that we didn’t particularly need to know

 **vernon** : why is jeonghan giving him the talk

 **worstparent** : because apparently I would be too blunt about it

 **jeonghan** : because you’re not the one with the dick up your ass are you

 **DK** : THIS IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION PLS

 **wonwoo** : hello childline? I know I’m not a child but I’m still scared

 **seungkwan** : what in hell have I just read

 **joshua** : jeonghan please stop talking

 **dino** : what am I supposed to do with this information

 **hoshi** : so anyone want to do a quiz to find out whether they’re alpha or omega

 **wonwoo** : NO GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE

 **Mingyu** : NO SOONYOUNG

 **DK** : STOP THIS

 **Dino** : WHAT IN THE FANFICTION

 **the8** : WE ARE LITERALLY IN A

 **worstparent** : Soonyoung absolutely not

 **hoshi** : you guys are boring

 **seungkwan** : I am going to play mario kart if anyone disturbs me to talk about bdsm or anything equally disturbing I will kill you

 **dino** : I’ll join you

 **vernon** : same

 **DK** : same

 **the8** : same

 **mingyu** : same

 **woozi** : well done guys you’ve scared off the entire maknae line

 **jeonghan** : they had to know

 **woozi** : NONE OF US HAD TO KNOW JEONGHAN

 **wonwoo** : chan is going to be traumatised for the rest of his life

 **jeonghan** : just because none of you will admit to being bottom bitches

 **worstparent** : JEONGHAN.

 **jeonghan** : what I said nothing

 **jun** : delete your account. Kids are crying

[seventeen has tweeted]

”last kid had the gay awakening today and we’re all a bunch of little bitch boys. Anyway just scared off the entire maknae line because I like dick up the ass overall a great day - jeonghan”

[let meanie get married]  
  


**worstparent** : JEONGHAN STOP TWEETING I SWEAR

 **joshua** : jeonghan please the world doesn’t need to know this

 **jeonghan** : yes they do

 **jun** : i hate my life 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, I tried my best to make it as funny/relevant to the plot as I could!
> 
> The next chapter will be wholesome and I can assure seokchan will finally get together soon :)


	13. Movie night disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little update, the actual author (I’m their friend) will be returning next week!!

[let meanie get married]  
  


[ **seungkwan** changed the group name to **help** ] 

**seungkwan** : we’re all going to die

**seungkwan** : the fucking nun is going to kill us

**vernon** : what the hell are you on about

**seungkwan** : THE NUN

**the8** : no seriously the nun is going to get us

**jun** : are you watching the nun?

**the8** : yes and it’s going to get me

**jun** : it’s a movie

**the8** : I DONT CARE THAT THING IS EVIL

**mingyu** : wonwoo where the hell are you

**wonwoo** : mingyu it’s just a movie, the nun is not actually going to kill you

**mingyu** : IT IS

**Wonwoo** : no it isn’t

**hoshi** : it’s going to come out of the tv and get me

**woozi** : soonyoung dont be stupid it’s not real

**hoshi** : easy for someone who isn’t here to say

**jeonghan** : I REGRET PUTTING THIS MOVIE ON

**jeonghan** : ITS GOING TO GET US

**worstparent** : IT ISNT REAL CALM DOWN

**jeonghan** : ITS STILL GOING TO GET ME

**DK** : it’s just a movie why are you all so scared

**hoshi** : BECAUSE ITS TERRIFYING

**worstparent** : you guys literally chose to stay home alone and watch it

**mingyu** : WONWOO I SWEAR IF YOU DONT COME HOME RIGHT NOW

**wonwoo** : please calm down it’s just a movie you’re not actually going to die

**mingyu** : THE FUCK? YES I AM

**dino** : I don’t like it someone turn it off

**jeonghan** : WHO HAS THE CONTROLLER

**the8** : JEONGHAN I SWEAR TURN IT OFF

**seungkwan** : it’s going to get me help

**vernon** : just turn the tv off

**dino** : make it go away I’m scared

**DK** : I’m coming home

**mingyu** : see wonwoo be more like seokmin

**Dino** : SOMEONE GET RID OF IT

**wonwoo** : fine I’ll come home but I’m telling you it’s not real

**jun** : I’m not coming home

**the8** : please :(

**jun** : and suddenly I am going home

**seungkwan** : JEONGHAN TURN THIS THING OFF YOU’RE SCARING THE KID

**dino** : YOU’RE LIKE ONE YEAR OLDER THAN ME SHUT UP

**seungkwan** : you are literally crying

**worstparent** : I’m coming home

**jeonghan** : FINALLY

**vernon** : I suppose I’m also coming home?

**Dino** : WHY WILL NOBODY SAVE ME FROM THIS NUN

**Hoshi** : WHERE THE HELL IS JIHOON

**joshua** : we’re at the studio ignoring you guys

**hoshi** : JIHOON

**hoshi** : JIHOON

**hoshi** : JIHOON

**hoshi** : JIHOON

**woozi** : WHAT.

**hoshi** : I’m scared

**woozi** : fine I’ll be home soon

**joshua** : I can’t believe you’re actually all going home because jeonghan made them watch the nun

**jeonghan** : NOBODY TOLD ME IT WOULD BE THIS SCARY

**DK** : WHAT DID YOU EXPECT??

**jun** : hao where are you?

**The8** : under the blanket

**mingyu** : we’re hiding

**mingyu** : I think chan is hiding somewhere behind the sofa

**mingyu** : seungkwan and hoshi are hiding in the cupboard

**wonwoo** : mingyu come out from there

**mingyu** : how can I be sure it’s you and not the nun

**wonwoo** : why would the nun be dressed like me and talk like me

**mingyu** : shapeshifter

[kids]  
  


**DK** : you guys are a bunch of idiots

**Mingyu** : you are literally hugging chan right now

**DK** : he was scared

**the8** : THE FUCK SO WERE WE

**the8** : this is pure favouritism

**seungkwan** : seokmin id like to see you sit through the nun

**vernon** : it’s just a movie why are you guys so terrified

**mingyu** : because it’s going to kill us

**DK** : NO IT ISNT

**the8** : I can’t believe the favouritism

**the8** : I am APPALLED

**seungkwan** : has he stopped sniffling because I don’t want him to wipe his snotty nose on me

**vernon** : you have literally just done that to me.

**seungkwan** : that’s different

**the8** : anyway change the subject

**mingyu** : so seokmin

**DK** : whatever it is, no.

**seungkwan** : he’s annoyed we’re interrupting his moment 

**DK** : we’re not having a moment.

**seungkwan** : the staring says otherwise

**The8** : and now KISS

**DK** : i hate you guys.

[???]  
  


**jeonghan** : I’m never watching a movie ever again

**joshua** : why are you so dramatic it’s just a movie

**jeonghan** : I can’t believe you’re not here holding me right now I could’ve DIED

**wonwoo** : after mingyu practically begged me to come home Hes abandoned me to go annoy seokmin

**hoshi** : seokmin and chan are having a moment

**woozi** : how is that a moment he’s just hugging him

**worstparent** : do you reckon they’ll actually get together or seokmin will find someone new

**jeonghan** : there could be a plot twist

**woozi** : absolutely not

**woozi** : I know what you’re thinking jeonghan and the answer is no

**joshua** : I mean we are inside a

**worstparent** : DO NOT SAY THE WORD

**hoshi** : oh that were in a fandango

**joshua** : yes that

**joshua** : no wait no not that

**wonwoo** : Soonyoung what the hell

**Jeonghan** : someone could spice it up a little

**jeonghan** : add in some betrayal, a scandal you could say

**worstparent** : jeonghan please all I want is some wholesome stuff

**jeonghan** : but the plot twist

**joshua** : thats for later

**wonwoo** : what are you guys talking about

**hoshi** : we’re inside a fandango

**hoshi** : IM NOT TRYING TO SAY THAT

**woozi** : well if anyone decides to spice it up I better not be involved or else someone will die

**hoshi** : am I involved in the spicing up

**jeonghan** : I’m not the one in charge of that 

**worstparent** : so back to the wholesome stuff

**hoshi** : I am making cookies

**joshua** : that’s not wholesome, that’s a terrifying statement

**woozi** : I’m helping

**joshua** : even more frightening

[help]  
  


**worstparent** : can someone change my name to something better than this

[ **mingyu** has changed **worstparents** name to **angrydad** ]

**angrydad** : this is somehow even worse

**seungkwan** : that’s not very wholesome is it

**wonwoo** : when is this band ever wholesome

**DK** : hey I’m being wholesome

**dino** : please continue to be wholesome

**the8** : for the benefit of the chat they are cuddling

**jun** : how disgusting

**the8** : don’t make me expose you

**jeonghan** : so there’s people actually being wholesome

**joshua** : makes a change from last nights conversation

**wonwoo** : now why would you choose to bring that back up

**mingyu** : we didn’t need to be reminded of that

**hoshi** : why are the people who aren’t in a couple being more coupley than the people who are in couples

**dino** : because we’re cuter than you

**DK** : exactly

[kids]  
  


**DK** : I have just fallen down 13 flights of stairs

**mingyu** : the hell? Are you okay

**DK** : yes. It was metaphorically

**the8** : you’re like head over heels at this point

**vernon** : he reached that point a long time ago

**DK** : I know he’s only joking though

**DK** : I wish he wasn’t

**seungkwan** : he might not be joking you never know

**seungkwan:** i mean you have a chance he likes men

**DK** : don’t get my hopes up

[ **jeonghan** , **Joshua** , **angrydad** chat]

**jeonghan** : do you think he likes seokmin

**joshua** : I mean there’s a possibility

**joshua** : however there’s also a possibility he has a crush on all of us

**angrydad** : not another seokmin situation please

**jeonghan** : the situation wasn’t that bad

**jeonghan** : seokmin’s cute, it could’ve been a lot worse of a person

**joshua** : anyway, after what he said in the chat there’s a chance he might have a crush on him

**joshua** : why are you even asking

**angrydad** : oh please don’t tell me that seokmin’s moved on and that’s why you’re asking

**jeonghan** : no I just noticed somethings thats all 

**jeonghan** : like he was crying earlier and the only person who could get him to stop was seokmin

**jeonghan** : not to mention the fact he always stares at seokmin when he isn’t looking

**joshua** : is he oblivious to his own crush

**Angrydad** : it seems like it

**jeonghan** : plus he always spends time with seokmin now they were up till 3am playing mario kart last night

**joshua** : do we need to stage an intervention to get them together

**Angrydad** : that’s not as wholesome if we do that

**joshua** : yeah and we’ll be dead by the time they actually get together otherwise

**jeonghan** : we may need to find out some more information first like if he actually does like seokmin.

**jeonghan** : we also need to make sure seokmin hasn’t got his eye on someone else now

**angrydad** : basically you want us to become spies?

**jeonghan** : pretty much yeah

**joshua** : operation seokchan it is

[ **mingyu** , **wonwoo** chat]

**mingyu** : now I thought chan was the oblivious one yet now I’m starting to think seokmin is just dumb

**wonwoo** : why what happened this time

**mingyu** : seokmin won’t notice the hints

**mingyu** : it’s so obvious he isn’t joking yet seokmin has it in his head that it’s a big joke

**wonwoo** : how do we know that it isn’t a joke though

**mingyu** : I can tell

**wonwoo** : sorry I didn’t realise you had a feelings detector

**mingyu** : shut up I notice things

**wonwoo** : no mingyu thats called assuming

**mingyu** : I can’t believe you won’t listen to me

**Mingyu** : you’re sleeping alone tonight

**wonwoo** : no I’m sorry please come back

**mingyu** : no

**wonwoo** : please :(

**mingyu** : fine but only for the fact that I can’t sleep alone

**mingyu** : and also because I love you too much

[ **hoshi** , **Dino** chat]  
  


**dino** : seeing as you’re seokmin’s best friend I suppose you’d be the best person to tell this to

**hoshi** : is everything okay?

**dino** : yeah it’s just..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger I’m sorry, tune in tomorrow to find out although you can probably already guess where this is going
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! I’m trying my best to be just as entertaining :)


	14. Operation seokchan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone I’m back!! I’m so sorry for being away for a few days, I had my friend upload some chapters for me just so you wouldn’t be waiting a long time :)

[chat between **Dino** and **hoshi** ]

**hoshi** : so what’s up

**dino** : does seokmin like me?

**hoshi** : how do you mean?

**dino** : like more than a friend

**hoshi** : why are you asking? Perhaps I know some information

**dino** : why can’t you just tell me?

**hoshi** : because I need to know why you want to know

**dino** : but you could just tell me

**hoshi** : but it’s too secret information

**dino** : oh for fucks sake!

**dino** : I HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON SEOKMIN THATS WHY

**hoshi** : oh

**hoshi** : well the answer to your question I actually don’t know

**dino** : you mean to tell me I just admitted that for no reason

**hoshi** : pretty much but who am I going to tell?

**dino** : everyone.

**hoshi** : no I’m not that horrible

**hoshi** : I’ll keep it a secret

**dino** : you better

[???]  
  


**hoshi** : chan has a massive crush on seokmin

**jeonghan** : source?

**hoshi** : he told me himself

**hoshi** : he was asking me if seokmin liked him and I lied and said I didn’t know

**angrydad** : why would you lie and say no

**joshua** : Soonyoung we’re supposed to be getting them together not make it more difficult

**hoshi** : hey two things

**hoshi** : i am trying to help

**hoshi** : I didn’t want to just blurt it out without seokmin’s permission, plus he hasn’t spoken to me about him in a while

**wonwoo** : maybe he likes someone else

**woozi** : is that likely

**wonwoo** : I don’t know, I mean Mingyu said that seokmin thinks that chan doesn’t like him but things could’ve changed since then

**angrydad** : don’t the maknae line have a groupchat

**jun** : they do, it’s gross

**jeonghan** : what if we got someone to infiltrate the group chat to find out

**joshua** : they’re going to know what we’re up to

**jeonghan** : how would they know

**jeonghan** : Soonyoung find a way to get added to the group

**hoshi** : why me I’m not even the youngest person here

**woozi** : because it’ll be ten times more suspicious if I ask to be added

**hoshi** : but still why me

**wonwoo** : Mingyu’s in that chat and he knows how to make me crack.

**hoshi** : fine I’ll try my best

**joshua** : this is so going to back fire

[kids]  
  


**seungkwan** : EMERGENCY

**seungkwan** : EMERGENCY

**seungkwan** : EMERGENCY

**the8** : what

**mingyu** : are you good?

**seungkwan** : WHAT DO YOU THINK EMERGENCY MEANS OF COURSE I AM NOT GOOD MINGYU

**DK** : uh what happened

**seungkwan** : I forgot something important

**vernon** : it’s not a big deal I already told you

**seungkwan** : IT IS A BIG DEAL

**the8** : what happened im so confused

**vernon** : he forgot our 2 month anniversary but I already told him it’s not a big deal

**mingyu** : SEUNGKWAN HOW DID YOU FORGET

**seungkwan** : I DONT KNOW IM SORRY

**the8** : people celebrate 2 month anniversaries? How come the parents have never done that

**mingyu** : seungcheol can’t remember where he’s placed his kids most of the time nevermind when their anniversary is

**DK** : does anyone even know when their anniversary is

**Vernon** : no they just sort of became a thing

**seungkwan** : anyway emergency over we’re watching cat videos

**mingyu** : so, seokmin

**DK** : I don’t like when you start sentences with that

**mingyu** : WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU AND CHAN

**DK** : I don’t know

**DK** : it’s complicated I guess because idk how he feels

**DK** : but like we’re closer than before

**the8** : why don’t you just tell him

**DK** : HAVE YOU GONE MAD??

**DK** : I’ll embarrass myself

**seungkwan** : so you’ll continue being whipped for him

**DK** : yes

**The8** : or until you get a crush on someone else

**DK** : that won’t happen

[chat between **Hoshi** and **seungkwan** ]

**hoshi** : hey

**seungkwan** : for the last time I DIDNT touch your cereal

**Hoshi** : that is not what I came to talk about

**seungkwan** : oh well then what is it

**hoshi** : can I join your groupchat

**seungkwan** : you’re old though

**seungkwan** : kids only im afraid

**hoshi** : but Seungcheol said I act like a kid so why can’t I be added

**seungkwan** : because you’re not a kid

**hoshi** : but the other group is boring they talk about boring things

**seungkwan** : that’s what happens when you’re old you don’t get to hear about fun things

**Hoshi** : why can’t we just pretend I’m a 97 liner

**seungkwan** : we already have 3 of those we don’t need another one

**hoshi** : if I asked Mingyu he’d say yes

**seungkwan** : then why aren’t you asking Mingyu?

**hoshi** : he won’t reply to my texts

**Seungkwan** : oh fine you can be added just don’t tell anyone what you heard in there

[kids]

[ **seungkwan** has added **Hoshi** to the group] 

**the8** : HE IS LITERALLY THE 5TH OLDEST WHY IS HE HERE

**seungkwan** : apparently their Groupchat isn’t very exciting

**mingyu** : to be fair this group is way more exciting

**DK** : how would you know

**mingyu** : by peering over wonwoo’s shoulder and reading it

**hoshi** : so this is the kids groupchat 

**vernon** : yes

**mingyu** : yes

**hoshi** : then where is the actual kid

**the8** : we didn’t add him because seokmin enjoys using this chat to rant about how much he loves him

**seungkwan** : seokmin is whipped basically

**DK** : it’s not all me

**DK** : occasionally Mingyu talks about wonwoo

**hoshi** : interesting

**hoshi** : so basically seokmin only likes chan

**mingyu** : yeah pretty much he’s very whipped

**hoshi** : so he doesn’t want to get a new guy?

**DK** : no?

**The8** : why are you asking so many questions

**Hoshi** : im not

**the8** : yes you are

**hoshi** : I was just curious

**seungkwan** : did they put you up to this

**hoshi** : what

**the8** : YOU ARE PRYING

**the8** : I CANT BELIEVE THEY WOULD DO THIS

[ **the8** has removed **hoshi** ]

[help]  
  


**mingyu** : STOP PRYING.

**seungkwan** : yeah stop sending your spies

**the8** : we know you put him up to this

[???]  
  


**joshua** : I told you they were going to find out

**jeonghan** : how was I supposed to know they were that smart

**angrydad** : anyway what did you find out

**hoshi** : seokmin is whipped for chan and doesn’t want to go for any other guy

**wonwoo** : well that’s a relief

**woozi** : yeah but now what are we supposed to do

**jeonghan** : well they both like each other

**jeonghan** : why can’t one of them just admit it to the other

**joshua** : it’s not that easy

**joshua** : they might be scared or nervous

**jeonghan** : it’s not that difficult

**woozi** : you think that because you basically were dating before you called it that

**angrydad** : we’re going to be dead before one of them confesses

**wonwoo** : well we can’t exactly speed it up we’re not Harry potter

**hoshi** : with the glasses you look like him though

**wonwoo** : oh shut up

**jeonghan** : what if I use my parental way with words to speed things up

**angrydad** : last time you used “parental way of words” you tried to tell him about bdsm.

**woozi** : now why in HELL would you bring that up again

**jeonghan** : he was going to find out about it sooner or later

**wonwoo** : you literally tweeted about it on our Twitter and almost made us lose our jobs.

**jeonghan** : okay maybe that part was slightly unnecessary

**joshua** : slightly??

**jun** : can we get back to the actual issue here

**jeonghan** : well would you like me to talk to the kid or not

**wonwoo** : he’s playing mario kart I wouldn’t disturb him

**hoshi** : he might turn feral

**jeonghan** : it’s just a silly game I doubt he will go feral

[help]  
  


**mingyu** : did anyone else hear a screaming noise

**wonwoo** : we warned him but he didn’t listen

**angrydad** : Jeonghan never listens

**jeonghan** : HE IS FUCKING FERAL

**dino** : YOU MADE ME LOSE

**the8** : and that’s the one you want?

**DK** : shut up

**jeonghan** : chan it’s a game pls stop saying you’re going to murder me in my sleep

**dino** : sleep with one eye open tonight

**jun** : and this is why children shouldn’t be allowed to play mario kart

**joshua** : I thought the game was lost

**dino** : seokmin found it

**woozi** : right well if nobodies actually dying I’m going back to bed

**mingyu** : it’s the middle of the day why are you going to bed

**woozi** : can’t a person be tired these days why does everything need an explanation

**mingyu** : because you literally woke up 4 hours ago

[kids]  
  


**DK** : do you think I should take chan out somewhere

**mingyu** : I know a guy who could do it for you

**DK** : what

**mingyu** : oh you meant on a date

**mingyu** : NEVERMIND IGNORE THAT DONT TELL CHEOL EITHER

**the8** : the fuck

**seungkwan** : not the hitman again

**DK** : anyway should i

**seungkwan** : yes take your non official boyfriend on a non official date

**DK** : why would you word it like that

**Vernon** : he wasn’t wrong though

**the8** : I think you should

**the8** : then if he doesn’t like you then you can just say it wasn’t a date you just wanted someone to go get food with

**mingyu** : you’re so smart

**the8** : I know

**DK** : I’ll ask him if he wants to get food with me tonight

**seungkwan** : actual progress is being made oh my god

**vernon** : we might not be dead when they get together

**DK** : HEY!

[operation seokchan]  
  


**mingyu** : progress has been made

**hoshi** : what is happening

**mingyu** : seokmin is asking chan on a non official date

**The8** : can we throw a party now

**seungkwan** : they’re still pissed at you for the whole shoe thing so I doubt they’ll let you

**the8** : mark lee keeps sending me angry texts about his shoe

**hoshi** : did you take the boot back to stray kids?

**the8** : no but uh JYP might sue me if I don’t return it soon

**mingyu** : the kids are crying

**Seungkwan** : did he literally mean they’re crying

**the8** : I mean it was a platform boot and they’re quite short so I think they may actually be crying

**hoshi** : what if you get sued

**the8** : well then I get sued

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ]

**DK** : hey

**Dino** : hi :)

[kids]  
  


**DK** : AJAKSKSK HE SENT A :)

**seungkwan** : w h i p p e d

**mingyu** : seokmin I swear if you don’t calm down

**the8** : did seokmin just keyboard smash

**vernon** : it appears he did

**The8** : he’s too far gone

**the8** : we can’t save him anymore he’s too whipped

**seungkwan** : rip seokmin 18/2/1997 - 10/2/2021

**DK** : I’m not dead

**mingyu** : sometimes I feel like he’s still here

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ]

**dino** : did you want to ask something?

**DK** : oh yeah sorry Mingyu and seungkwan were bullying me again

**dino** : why what did you do

**DK** : oh it was nothing, it doesn’t matter

**DK** : anyway I wanted to ask if you were free later

**dino** : yeah I should be free why?

**DK** : I was going to get food if you wanted to join me?

**dino** : sure! I’d love to come plus Soonyoung said something about making cookies again later so I don’t really want to be around for when he blows up the kitchen

**DK** : oh not again!

**DK** : I’ll see you later :)

**dino** : okay :)

[kids]  
  


**DK** : I’m going on a non official date!

**the8** : finally some good news

**mingyu** : then are you going to tell him

**DK** : maybe

**seungkwan** : ITS HAPPENING

**mingyu** : EVERYBODY STAY CALM

**the8** : did you guys just quote the fucking office

**vernon** : sometimes I regret opening this chat

**seungkwan** : no you don’t I’m here

**mingyu** : you are probably the reason he regrets opening the chat

**seungkwan** : DONT BE SO FUCKING RUDE

[???]  
  


**hoshi** : progress may be made

**jeonghan** : what happened

**hoshi** : apparently seokmin asked chan on a non official date

**Angrydad** : one of them better confess soon I feel like I’m reading a slow burn here

**woozi** : we are literally participating in a slow burn you know what

**hoshi** : SHHH DONT TELL THEM

**Wonwoo** : what

**jun** : don’t tell us what

**jeonghan** : why is Minghao aggressively typing on his phone

**jun** : he’s arguing with mark lee about his shoe that he stole

**angrydad** : he still hasn’t returned it?

**hoshi** : why would he if he has a whole collection

**joshua** : I still don’t know how he steals them

**jun** : I help

**angrydad** : WHY ARE YOU HELPING HIM DO ILLEGAL THINGS??

**jun** : to get money obviously

**jun** : just sold one of jungkooks shoes on ebay for thousands

**jeonghan** : I shall need to stage an intervention for this

**angrydad** : yeah the intervention is going to be all 23 members of NCT come knocking asking for their shoes back

**woozi** : how the hell have we gotten so off topic

**Hoshi** : I have no idea

**angrydad** : update us when they get back from their non date

**hoshi** : i will

**[JYP has tweeted seventeen]  
**

”RETURN THE BOOT. KIDS ARE STILL CRYING”

**[seventeen have replied to JYP]**

”too late, sold it on eBay for ten dollars - the8”

**[NCT has tweeted seventeen]**

”GIVE ME MY DAMN SHOE BACK”

**[seventeen has replied to NCT]**

”no lol - the8”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading I hope this was enjoyable enough :)


	15. Midnight confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of long I’m sorry but I didn’t want to split it over 2 chapters! :)

[kids]  
  


**DK** : I’m scared

 **the8** : why are you scared?

 **mingyu** : I thought you said it was a non official date, why are you freaking out about it

 **seungkwan** : because even if it’s non official it’s literally still a date

 **DK** : I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of him

 **the8** : you are not going to embarrass yourself

 **DK** : I don’t know what to wear this is a disaster

 **mingyu** : you’re overthinking it again

 **DK** : thanks for the observation captain obvious

 **Seungkwan** : I’d shut up Mingyu before he bites your head off

 **the8** : I’ll find you something to wear just try to calm down

[chat between **Hoshi** and **dino** ]

 **dino** : help.

 **hoshi** : how can I help you?

 **dino** : well seokmin is taking me out for food and now I’m stressing out about whether this is a date or not

 **hoshi** : why are you stressing you’ve gone out together hundreds of times

 **dino** : yes but now it feels different

 **hoshi** : whether it’s a date or not it’s still the same seokmin

 **Dino** : yeah I suppose you’re right

 **Dino** : I just don’t want to embarrass myself

 **dino** : like I want to impress him

 **hoshi** : look just stop stressing about it it’s going to be fine

 **dino** : what if it’s not a date and it’s just a friendly thing

 **dino** : I’m reading too much into it what if I’ve gotten the wrong idea

 **Hoshi** : chan.

 **dino** : what if he only likes me as a friend

 **hoshi** : chan.

 **dino** : what if he hates me because I’ve got the wrong idea

 **hoshi** : CHAN!

 **dino** : oh sorry I’m rambling

 **hoshi** : it’s going to be fine. It’s just like any other time you’ve went out with him, stop stressing.

 **dino** : I’ll try

 **Dino** : I should probably go find him

 **hoshi** : just have fun and try not to overthink it

[kids]  
  


**DK** : we’re going now pls hope I don’t mess this up

 **the8** : it’s going to be fine stop stressing

 **mingyu** : why do I lowkey feel proud

 **seungkwan** : because actual progress is being made

 **DK** : I’ll see you guys when I get back

[???]  
  


**hoshi** : okay so chan and seokmin are on a date but not a date

 **jeonghan** : so what’s happening

 **hoshi** : well chan was freaking out incase he’d gotten the wrong idea and that seokmin doesn’t actually like him

 **hoshi** : so I tried to reassure him without basically being like SEOKMIN HAS A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU AND HAS HAD FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS

 **angrydad** : I hope someone actually confesses soon I don’t know how much longer I can take watching them be oblivious to each other

 **joshua** : it’s rather painful

 **wonwoo** : do you think seokmin will confess

 **woozi** : I’d say so

 **hoshi** : I don’t know I’m thinking more like chan will confess first

 **jeonghan** : it’s got to be seokmin surely he’s been keeping it a secret for 2 years

 **jeonghan** : like that’s going to get blurted out at any moment

 **hoshi** : I’m telling you all you’re wrong

 **woozi** : Seokmin is more likely to blurt it out

 **Hoshi** : I’ll bet you all twenty dollars that chan confesses first

 **wonwoo** : are we seriously betting on this

 **woozi** : yes and he’s going to owe a lot of money because it will quite clearly be seokmin

 **angrydad** : Soonyoung you’re going to have to cough up a lot of money

 **hoshi** : if you say so

[help]

 **mingyu** : HELP

 **mingyu** : HELP

 **wonwoo** : what’s wrong???

 **mingyu** : THERE’S A BIG ASS BUG IN MY BED

 **mingyu** : ITS MOVING EW GET IT AWAY

 **jun** : lol imagine being scared of a bug

 **jun** : oKAY NEVERMIND THAT THING IS FUCKING HUGE

 **woozi** : just kill it??

 **mingyu** : HBJAJSK IT JUST FLEW AT ME

 **angrydad** : did he just keyboard smash?

 **jeonghan** : he did but why did I read as a frightened Mingyu noise

 **wonwoo** : Mingyu just whack it with something

 **mingyu** : I DONT WANT BUG BITS IN MY BED

 **jun** : no seriously wonwoo you have to come kill this thing it’s actually evil

 **the8** : lmao are you guys getting held hostage by a bug

 **the8** : nEVERMIND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THINF

 **Seungkwan** : it’s just a bug why are you all terrified

 **mingyu** : IT FLEW AT MY FACE

 **angrydad** : I’ll get rid of it hold on

 **jeonghan** : is it gone

 **angrydad** : yeah so we have a 14th member

 **jeonghan** : I swear you guys are bunch of idiots

 **jeonghan** : I’ll get it with bug spray

 **wonwoo** : is the huge bug gone now

 **mingyu** : well Jeonghan sprayed it with bug spray but it didn’t die so hao threw a shoe at it and it exploded on the wall

 **wonwoo** : I’m sorry it EXPLODED???

 **joshua** : remind me never to come in your room I really don’t need to see that

 **vernon** : well that sounds gross

 **seungkwan** : exactly thanks for the graphic detail gyu

 **mingyu** : you’re welcome

 **the8** : well that was traumatic

 **hoshi** : parental figure

 **angrydad** : yes problem child

 **hoshi** : may I receive money to buy important items

 **angrydad** : I’m not giving you money to buy another dumb tiger print clothing item

 **hoshi** : you actually suck

 **joshua** : why can’t you just use your own money

 **mingyu** : he spent all his money on that captain hat

 **angrydad** : that was so irresponsible

 **jeonghan** : the mans a furry did you really expect him to be responsible

 **woozi** : I did tell him not to but he ignored me and did it anyway

 **angrydad** : Wheres my credit card

 **angrydad** : SOONYOUNG!!!

[chat between **jun** and **the8** ]

 **jun** : who do you think will confess first chan or seokmin?

 **the8** : how are you even aware of this

 **jun** : Soonyoung spies

 **the8** : fair enough

 **the8** : why are you asking me this

 **jun** : we all bet on it earlier

 **jun** : we think it’ll be seokmin

 **the8** : jun, seokmin has managed to keep it secret for 2 years I doubt he’ll say it first

 **jun** : well he better or else I’m giving money to Soonyoung and his tiger fund

 **the8** : well have fun with that one

[kids]

 **DK** : so we’re back

 **the8** : HOW WAS IT??

 **the8** : DID YOU HAVE FUN

 **mingyu** : DID YOU TELL HIM??

 **DK** : WHY ARE YOU YELLING

 **DK** : it was very fun but no I didn’t tell him

 **seungkwan** : I suppose it wasn’t actually a date so why are we surprised

 **DK** : I think I might’ve fallen down atleast 23 flights of stairs

 **mingyu** : IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

 **DK** : okay but like you know that feeling when you really like someone and every time you see them you just get that feeling and you’re all excited

 **mingyu** : me every time I see wonwoo

 **the8** : me everytime I see jun

 **vernon** : me every time I see seungkwan

 **seungkwan** : PLEASE THE WAY I JUST GOT THAT FEELING

 **DK** : IS THIS WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE

 **the8** : yes.

 **mingyu** : seokmin has fallen and cannot get up

 **DK** : way to ruin the mood

 **seungkwan** : SEOKMIN HAS FOUND A SOULMATE QUICK WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN

 **the8** : seungkwan please we’re not inside a 84k word red strings soulmate au

 **seungkwan** : well I should hope we’re not or else something is seriously wrong with that story

 **DK** : I WASNT SUPPOSED TO FALL THIS HARD

 **Mingyu** : well you’ve done it now you can’t exactly go back

 **seungkwan** : welcome to how everyone else feels everyday

 **the8** : NO NO WAIT TILL HE EXPERIENCES WAKING UP NEXT TO HIM

 **mingyu** : OH MY GOD

 **seungkwan** : QUICK TAKE NOTES EVERYONE

 **DK** : hey now I want to experience that

 **the8** : THEN MAKE IT HAPPEN.

[chat between **Hoshi** and **dino** ]

 **dino** : question

 **hoshi** : yes

 **dino** : when you look at jihoon do you get that weird feeling

 **dino** : like it’s a good thing but it feels weird

 **hoshi** : that’s called butterflies

 **hoshi** : and yeah sometimes

 **dino** : yeah I experienced that and now I can’t stop thinking about him and this is a serious problem

 **hoshi** : isn’t that more of a good thing than a bad thing?

 **dino** : I don’t know but all I can think about is him

 **dino** : is this love?

 **hoshi** : possibly

 **dino** : I should tell him

 **hoshi** : are you going to tell him though

 **dino** : I want to but I’m scared

 **dino** : I don’t want him to reject me

 **hoshi** : don’t think about rejection

 **hoshi** : there’s a high chance seokmin is somewhere feeling the exact same way you do right now

 **dino** : you think so?

 **hoshi** : if I didn’t would I be telling you that?

 **dino** : I’m going to tell him

 **hoshi** : tell me how it goes okay

 **dino** : I will

[chat between **DK** and **jeonghan** ]

 **DK** : JEONGHAN

 **DK** : JEONGHAN

 **DK** : JEONGHAN

 **jeonghan** : what is it it’s like almost midnight

 **DK** : do you think I’m in love with chan

 **jeonghan** : seokmin, literally everyone has been trying to tell you this for the past 2 years

 **jeonghan** : it’s pretty obvious the way your eyes sparkle any time Hes around

 **DK** : I’m THAT obvious

 **jeonghan** : yes.

 **DK** : how am I supposed to tell him

 **jeonghan** : are you going to tell him tonight?

 **DK** : I DONT KNOW

 **DK** : HOW DID YOU GUYS CONFESS

 **jeonghan** : I told them they were hot then they told me I was hot then we made out

 **DK** : I regret asking.

[kids]  
  


**DK** : how do you tell someone you’re in love with them

 **DK** : Jeonghan was literally useless

 **mingyu** : I just sort of told wonwoo I liked him

 **mingyu** : it’s not really difficult you just have to be like “I like you”

 **the8** : that’s literally all you do

 **DK** : WHY ARE YOU GUYS JUST AS USELESS

 **Mingyu** : JUST TEXT HIM “I LIKE YOU”

 **DK** : IM SCARED

 **Seungkwan** : the year is 2078 seokmin still hasn’t confessed

 **DK** : you are not helping

[chat between **Dino** and **DK** ] 

**dino** : I had fun tonight thank you for inviting me :)

 **DK** : I had fun too! I’m glad you enjoyed it :)

 **dino** : I actually wanted to tell you something

[kids]  
  


**DK** : HBHJSMDJ GUYS

 **the8** : did you seriously just keyboard smash again

 **mingyu** : minghao you’re mistaken, that’s how to type hyperventilating

 **DK** : HELLO BACK TO ME

 **the8** : Ah yes what is it

 **DK** : HE WANTS TO TELL ME SOMETHING

 **DK** : IS THIS IT

 **seungkwan** : hold the fucking bus 

**seungkwan** : is tonight the night

 **mingyu** : SILENCE EVRUONE THIS IS SERIOUS

 **the8** : at least learn to type mingyu

 **mingyu** : shut up it was a typo

[chat between **Dino** and **DK** ]

 **DK** : oh okay what is it?

 **dino** : I like you

 **dino** : I understand if you don’t feel the same way but I just needed to get it off my chest because right now all I can think about is you and how everytime you’re around I get this weird feeling which Soonyoung told me was called butterflies and well basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you

 **DK** : chan I’ve literally been in love with you for the past 2 years

 **dino** : what are you being serious?

 **DK** : yes I’m being serious

 **DK** : and everyday for the past 2 years I’ve been telling myself that maybe one day you’ll like me back

 **dino** : well I do and I’m sorry for not realising it sooner

 **DK** : what does this make us then

 **dino** : uh I’m not sure

 **dino** : is this the thing stage or are we just boyfriends now

 **DK** : you know what fuck the whole “we have a thing” stage I’m calling you my boyfriend and that’s that

 **dino** : this is quite possibly the best day of my entire life :)

 **DK** : mine too :)

 **dino** : does this mean we can do coupley things now

 **DK** : yes and you can start that by coming to my room because I want cuddles

 **dino** : omw :)

[kids]  
  


**DK** : everyone get out your calendars

 **mingyu** : oh my god

 **the8** : WHAT

 **seungkwan** : well don’t keep us in suspense

 **vernon** : what are we writing

 **DK** : I need you to write down that today was the best day of lee seokmin’s entire life

 **mingyu** : WHAT HAPPENED

 **DK** : so uh I have a boyfriend :)

[ **DK** has added **Dino** ]

 **the8** : ITS OFFICIAL OH MY GOD

 **the8** : I’m not crying it’s the onions

 **seungkwan** : there isn’t any onions

 **The8** : SHUT UP LET ME CRY

 **mingyu** : IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

 **vernon** : IT FINALLY HAPPENED

 **Dino** : wait you guys had a whole chat without me

 **the8** : well we couldn’t exactly add you before when seokmin used to rant about how much he loved you

 **DK** : we have been dating for like 15 minutes pls don’t expose me

 **dino** : WHAT NO THATS CUTE

 **DK** : NO NOW IM EMBARRASSED

 **dino** : don’t be embarrassed I basically ranted to Soonyoung about you earlier

 **seungkwan** : STOP NO THIS IS ADORABLE

 **The8** : I CANT SEE THE SCREEN IS BLURRY FROM MY TEARS

[chat between **Hoshi** and **dino** ]

 **dino** : I told him!

 **hoshi** : and how did it go?

 **dino** : I have a boyfriend now :)

 **hoshi** : see I told you it would all work out!

 **hoshi** : I’m so happy for you :)

[help]  
  


**DK** : so I have a boyfriend

 **dino** : I also have a boyfriend

 **jeonghan** : I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THIS TODAY

 **angrydad** : WHAT

 **woozi** : they are finally dating

 **woozi** : I’m happy for you

 **wonwoo** : wait so who confessed

 **dino** : me

 **hoshi** : I can take the money now or later

 **DK** : I’m not surprised in the slightest that you guys bet on this

 **jun** : so we’re officially all in the couples

 **jun** : pls keep pda to a minimum

 **the8** : I could expose you for so many things right now

 **Jun** : no you wont

 **mingyu** : OKAY MOVING ON

 **mingyu** : LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE

 **jeonghan** : alright how have they become the cutest couple in less than a day

 **seungkwan** : because they are secretly part of an 84k word friends to lovers soulmate au

 **wonwoo** : can someone explain in normal words

 **mingyu** : he’s saying their soulmates

 **angrydad** : it’s late why are we all still awake

 **the8** : I’m going to bed

 **the8** : jun come with me or I’ll commit arson on the way to clean my teeth

 **jun** : he has attachment issues

 **woozi** : we can see that

 **angrydad** : anyway I’m going to sleep try not to break anything

 **hoshi** : I’m going to be rich tomorrow

 **dino** : glad I could be of help

 **dino** : please donate half to me

 **hoshi** : I suppose that is only fair

 **mingyu** : THERES ANOTHER BIG BUG IN MY BED

 **seungkwan** : I swear you must have some sort of infestation or something

 **mingyu** : who ISNT using their room

 **hoshi** : me

 **mingyu** : anyone who doesn’t have about 73 tiger plushies all over their room

 **dino** : you can stay in mine I’m staying with seokmin

 **Mingyu** : thank you

 **dino** : just don’t do anything dodgy in there

 **wonwoo** : why would we

 **dino** : I don’t know some people are into that

 **DK** : chan please I don’t want to think about them doing anything dodgy

 **jeonghan** : children please sleep already this conversation is weird

 **joshua** : nobody wants to think about them doing that

 **seungkwan** : goodnight everyone!

 **woozi** : seungkwan shut up

 **seungkwan** : now that was rude

 **woozi** : I’m trying to sleep

 **hoshi** : I thought we were all going to sleep why are you still texting

 **woozi** : because seungkwan was being loud

 **hoshi** : do you need me to come to your room

 **mingyu** : CONTEXT PLEASE

 **mingyu** : that sounds so dodgy

 **hoshi** : to cuddle obviously get your mind out the gutter

 **angrydad** : right well now weve all established that nobody is getting up to anything dodgy can we all please shut the hell up

 **Jun** : who said I wasn’t getting up to anything dodgy

 **the8** : I’m sorry did I miss the memo or something

 **Jun** : I don’t know did you

 **dino** : WHY DID WE ALL NEED TO KNOW THIS

 **DK** : what the fuck

 **angrydad** : SHUT THE HELL UP

[ **angrydad** has removed **jun** and **the8** ]

 **dino** : username checks out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was enjoyable enough :) also thank you for all of the kudos I appreciate it!


	16. What if everyone dated everyone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for slow updates recently. I normally get my friend to read over my chapters before I post to make sure they make sense (english is my 2nd language) but they have been quite busy recently so it’s been taking me a bit longer to write these!! Sorry if there are any mistakes I tried my best :)

[kids]

 **DK** : I don’t care what anyone else says me and chan are cuter than the parents

 **the8** : wouldn’t be hard to be

 **the8** : they literally had a threesome in public and jeonghans head got stuck in a chair

 **dino** : why would you remind me that I had to witness that

 **mingyu** : minghao please it’s valintines nobody wants to think about that

 **seungkwan** : what are you doing for valentines

 **mingyu** : wonwoo

 **seungkwan** : I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that

 **seungkwan** : what is everyone else doing for valentines

 **Vernon** : you

 **DK** : chan

 **seungkwan** : FOR FUCKS SAKE

 **seungkwan** : stop thinking with your dicks for one minute

 **DK** : I’m kidding we aren’t doing that

 **DK** : we’re going out later

 **vernon** : it’s a surprise

 **the8** : jun is surprising me with something and that scares me

 **mingyu** : I wasn’t kidding.

 **dino** : not before marriage oh my god

 **seungkwan** : exactly marriage first kids

 **the8** : marriage now, dicked down later

 **DK** : now why would you word it like that

 **mingyu** : do you reckon Soonyoung and jihoon are getting married first

 **seungkwan** : did they not openly admit to doing kinky shit in the groupchat

 **dino** : they did

 **dino** : that was when Jeonghan tried to tell me what bondage was

 **vernon** : that’s a conversation nobody needs to hear

 **the8** : they are literally exibitionists what did we expect

 **mingyu** : that poor chair

[help]

 **wonwoo** : Soonyoung is drunk beware

 **angrydad** : it’s 3pm

 **jun** : he started early

 **woozi** : I can’t believe he’s done this

 **woozi** : he keeps trying to kiss me and tell me about some stupid duck called derek

 **joshua** : it’s not another inflatable is it

 **the8** : not another inflatable I swear

 **the8** : Barry was bad enough

 **jeonghan** : is ducks his new thing

 **woozi** : he just rawred so no

 **Dino** : I swear if he chases me again

 **seungkwan** : I reckon we all get drunk and then nothing matters anymore

 **jeonghan** : that is a terrible idea

 **woozi** : I think it’s a great idea considering I have to deal with him

 **mingyu** : I don’t know

 **angrydad** : Jeonghan it’s a great idea what are you talking about

 **jeonghan** : are you already drinking?

 **jeonghan** : you’re already drinking aren’t you

 **joshua** : we might’ve had a few drinks

 **jeonghan** : what am I the babysitter for tonight then

 **mingyu** : it’s valentines get drunk and have a party

 **hoshi** : I have an announcement

 **wonwoo** : what

 **DK** : oh no

 **vernon** : this is not going to be good is it

 **hoshi** : I’m pregnant

 **woozi** : you’re not pregnant you idiot

 **hoshi** : yes I am

 **woozi** : you don’t have a uterus

 **hoshi** : how do you know that

 **hoshi** : did you look at my insides

 **wonwoo** : you’re a man

 **wonwoo** : that’s literally impossible

 **DK** : why is he always like this when he’s drunk

 **dino** : because he starts early

 **jun** : Soonyoung shut up

 **hoshi** : no you

 **mingyu** : why is there a giant rubber duck in my room

 **hoshi** : derek.

 **mingyu** : I’m too sober for this

 **wonwoo** : please not you as well

 **vernon** : Soonyoung pls don’t chase me

 **vernon** : go after chan he can actually run

 **dino** : DONT BRING ME INTO THIS

 **hoshi** : zoom

 **woozi** : yeah so who’s got the alcohol

 **DK** : why is everyone getting drunk

 **joshua** : Soonyoung started it so blame him

 **jeonghan** : he’s already wasted he’ll pass out soon

 **wonwoo** : good, then I don’t have to deal with everyones shrieking because he’s chasing them

 **dino** : he can run very fast

 **DK** : but it’s valentines why aren’t you doing coupley stuff

 **woozi** : you see we would be

 **woozi** : but Soonyoung is a fucking idiot

 **hoshi** : quack

 **woozi** : did you just fucking quack at me

 **the8** : so basically none of you are going on a date

 **the8** : why does nobody want to make it special why are you all so boring

 **mingyu** : wonwoo take me on a date

 **seungkwan** : I don’t think that’s how it works..

 **wonwoo** : okay

 **seungkwan** : so apparently that’s how things work now

 **jeonghan** : I am being left out

 **jeonghan** : taking offers to be my new boyfriend

 **joshua** : I can’t believe you’re breaking up with us

 **angrydad** : you can’t break up with us on valentines

 **jeonghan** : idiots I was joking

 **jun** : he wasn’t joking

 **hoshi** : I’ll break up with jihoon for jeonghan

 **joshua** : you can’t have jeonghan

 **woozi** : Soonyoung what the fuck

 **wonwoo** : he’s drunk he doesn’t mean it

 **seungkwan** : uh well this is awkward

 **vernon** : very awkward

[kids]

 **the8** : what the hell just happened

 **the8** : I’m going to need the details kids

 **mingyu** : WHY IS THERE A SOONYOUNG X JEONGHAN SHIP HAPPENING

 **DK** : WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN

 **seungkwan** : why is this happening

 **seungkwan** : who wrote that one down

 **dino** : I have no idea what’s going on

 **vernon** : it’s valentines why is there potentially going to be a break up

 **mingyu** : where did jihoon go

 **the8** : WHERE IS SOONYOUNG

 **the8** : I need an eye on Soonyoung at all times

 **DK** : what are we the fbi for relationship issues

 **seungkwan** : no but what if they actually break up

 **the8** : then we panic

 **seungkwan** : isn’t that what we’re already doing?!

 **the8** : fuck

 **mingyu** : what if everyone breaks up

 **Vernon** : now why would that happen

 **seungkwan** : are you planning on breaking up with wonwoo or something

 **mingyu** : NO!

 **dino** : then how can everyone break up

 **the8** : if any of you dare touch jun I swear I’ll set you on fire

 **seungkwan** : why would we go for jun

 **seungkwan** : if I was going to go for anyone else I’d pick soonyoung 

**vernon** : why am I deeply offended by that

 **mingyu** : because he could’ve picked a furry over you

 **dino** : Hes hot though

 **DK** : ^^

 **The8** : DO YOU ALL JUST HAVE SECRET CRUSHES ON HIM?!

 **mingyu** : I don’t

 **vernon** : I don’t either

 **the8** : what the fuck kind of polyamory ot13 shit is happening here

 **seungkwan** : we’ve made it worse haven’t we

 **the8** : yes you have

[chat between **the8** , **jun** and **wonwoo** ] 

**the8** : I have gathered you both here because everyone else is clearly on drugs

 **jun** : it can’t get any worse than Jeonghan almost causing two breakups

 **wonwoo** : surely there is nothing worse than that

 **the8** : wrong.

 **the8** : don’t be silly there’s always something worse

 **jun** : what happened this time

 **wonwoo** : I dread to think

 **the8** : well seokmin and chan and seungkwan all have secret crushes on soonyoung

 **wonwoo** : what in the polyamory is going on

 **the8** : that is what I said

 **jun** : are they all on drugs

 **wonwoo** : is everyone just going to start dating each other

 **jun** : isn’t that what we’re already doing?

 **wonwoo** : no I mean there’s just one relationship

 **the8** : I have no idea what’s going on anymore

 **the8** : I know it’s Valentine’s Day but come on we don’t need to love everyone very much

 **jun** : wait what if they all try to get with soonyoung

 **jun** : why is he so popular anyway

 **The8** : Hes hot

 **jun** : wait you think he’s hot

 **the8** : no I mean well

 **the8** : NO THATS JUST WHAT THEY SAID

 **wonwoo** : why are you all attracted to a tiger furry

 **jun** : IM NOT

 **the8** : I’ve literally only had a crush on two other people and neither of those was Soonyoung so

 **jun** : well tell us who

 **jun** : I need to know who to beat up

 **the8** : no!

 **wonwoo** : if it’s who I’m thinking then stay the hell away

 **the8** : I DIDNT SAY I STILL LIKED THEM?!

 **jun** : I still don’t like sharing

 **wonwoo** : neither do i

[help]

 **mingyu** : may I just ask

 **seungkwan** : no Mingyu shut up

 **mingyu** : what in the polyamory is going on here

 **joshua** : my relationship

 **dino** : no we just call that a threesome it doesn’t get a fancy title

 **angrydad** : can you please stop saying threesome

 **dino** : well what the fuck do you want me to call it 

**Dino** : “my three parental figures who love each other very much”

 **jun** : that was cringy

 **dino** : I KNOW.

 **mingyu** : anyway back to the point

 **the8** : WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE SECRET CRUSHES ON SOMEONE

 **woozi** : bold of you to assume I have one

 **the8** : I could expose you

 **woozi** : haha so moving on

 **jeonghan** : who has a crush on who

 **angrydad** : you have a crush on everyone

 **jeonghan** : no I don’t!

 **joshua** : that’s debatable

 **mingyu** : just because it’s valentines doesn’t mean we all have to love everyone

 **DK** : why not seems reasonable

 **mingyu** : HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU HAVE 12 BOYFRIENDS

 **DK** : you lie and tell them you only have one and you switch them out every month

 **the8** : seokmin why the hell have you thought this through

 **dino** : what else do you think two very gay individuals do at night

 **wonwoo** : THATS WHAT YOU GUYS DO?!

 **joshua** : you know I think I’d much prefer if they turned round and told us they were doing something kinky

 **jun** : this is so complicated

 **jun** : Jeonghan this is all your fault

 **seungkwan** : wait so realistically if everyone just had one giant relationship what would happen

 **dino** : everyone would have 12 boyfriends

 **seungkwan** : BUT HOW DO YOU MAKE TIME FOR ALL OF THEM

 **dino** : I don’t know you just make time

 **vernon** : but then how are you supposed to decide who’s bed you sleep in

 **DK** : rock paper scissors

 **angrydad** : that is such a terrible way to decide

 **hoshi** : what did I miss

 **woozi** : are you still drunk?

 **hoshi** : not really, what’s going on

 **woozi** : do you remember the part where you said you’d leave me for jeonghan

 **hoshi** : uh perhaps

 **woozi** : NOW YOU’VE STARTED EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT ALL OF US BEING IN A GIANT RELATIONSHIP AND ITS STRESSING ME OUT BECAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY EMOTIONS AND I DONT KNOW HOW IM SUPPOSED TO FEEL RIGHT NOW

 **hoshi** : oh

 **mingyu** : well that was

 **the8** : interesting?

 **DK** : realistically if someone just made out with someone else rn what would happen

 **joshua** : there would be two people making out?

 **dino** : but like would there be consequences to that

 **joshua** : uh I don’t know?

 **angrydad** : well I mean I assume you’re doing it to prove a point so maybe not

 **DK** : so basically you’re saying I could do that and nothing would happen

 **angrydad** : I mean it would depend on why you were doing it

 **angrydad** : like if you were just doing it because you felt like it then there would probably be a consequence

 **the8** : oh for fucks sake Mingyu come here a second

 **jun** : no what are you doing

 **wonwoo** : Mingyu don’t

 **seungkwan** : WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

 **hoshi** : YO THEY JUST KISSED

 **dino** : something that feels illegal but isn’t illegal

 **angrydad** : WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL PLOT

 **vernon** : alright who had plot twist written down

 **wonwoo** : Jeonghan was this the plot twist you mentioned before

 **jeonghan** : I don’t know what you’re talking about I mentioned no such thing

 **jun** : yeah no you definitely mentioned a plot twist before

 **DK** : next NCT will come storming through our dorm

 **angrydad** : why the FUCK would you say that

 **seungkwan** : sounds funny

 **woozi** : does that mean they’re having a foursome now

 **seungkwan** : what if we all just kissed minghao would that even it out

 **angrydad** : seungkwan this ISNT maths you can’t just cancel it out

 **vernon** : you know I think I much preferred Valentine’s Day when it wasn’t complicated and coupley

 **seungkwan** : don’t make me leave you for soonyoung

 **woozi** : what the fuck

 **woozi** : why does everyone want soonyoung

 **wonwoo** : can we go back to the part where minghao and Mingyu made out just because he felt like it

 **the8** : I was proving a point wonwoo

 **mingyu** : I was helping prove the point

 **hoshi** : does this mean I can have a foursome

 **woozi** : am I not enough for you?!

 **jeonghan** : so who wants to take me on a date

 **jun** : fuck this

 **jun** : Jeonghan let’s go on a date

 **angrydad** : what is going on?!

 **DK** : you know it was supposed to be hypothetical guys

 **DK** : WE AREN’T ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO DO THIS

 **dino** : seokmin it’s too late they’ve done it now

 **dino** : might as well go cuddle Soonyoung

 **woozi** : NOT YOU TWO AS WELL

 **hoshi** : I feel so appreciated right now

 **joshua** : what have we done

 **angrydad** : so uh how are we supposed to celebrate valentines now

 **woozi** : I have no idea since seokmin, chan and seungkwan are all in Soonyoung’s bed

 **wonwoo** : I’m sorry what

 **woozi** : not like that

 **woozi** : they’re watching a movie

 **jun** : yes well me and Jeonghan are on a date

 **the8** : I can’t believe you’ve done this

 **jun** : you kissed Mingyu!

 **the8** : I was proving a point

 **vernon** : I can’t believe I’ve been abandoned

 **hoshi** : come join us then

 **vernon** : okay :)

 **woozi** : AKKASKS WHAT THE FUCK STOP

 **wonwoo** : who wants a Mingyu im leaving him

 **mingyu** : DONT LEAVE ME

 **mingyu** : who the hell are you giving me too

 **DK** : I’ll take him

 **mingyu** : oh that’s not so bad

 **Wonwoo** : THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXPERIMENT

 **wonwoo** : I can’t believe you’ve betrayed me like this

 **woozi** : Didn’t he already betray you when he had his tongue in minghao’s mouth

 **wonwoo** : we looked past that

 **jun** : I didnt

 **the8** : I can’t believe you’re on a date with Jeonghan right now

 **angrydad** : this is so entertaining

 **joshua** : let’s just sit back and observe the children fight

 **woozi** : GET BACK TO YOUR OWN BOYFRIENDS AND LEAVE MINE ALONE

 **DK** : but were comfortable

 **dino** : yeah exactly

 **woozi** : THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY SPOT

 **Woozi** : Mingyu don’t even think about coming in here

 **mingyu** : sorry I’m trying to find a new boyfriend since mine abandoned me

 **wonwoo** : I DIDNT ABANDON YOU COME BACK

 **jeonghan** : yeah so happy valentines everyone

 **woozi** : wHY IS EVERYONE IN HERE GO AWAY

[chat between **angrydad** and **joshua** ]

 **angrydad** : should we stage an intervention

 **joshua** : just except it everyone is dating

 **angrydad** : jihoon doesn’t seem very happy about it

 **joshua** : oh well

 **angrydad** : well what do we do about jeonghan

 **joshua** : I don’t know

 **joshua** : go on a date with someone else to even it out

 **angrydad** : THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS

[kids]

 **the8** : jihoon is going to murder all of you

 **seungkwan** : wonwoo and Jun are going to murder you

 **DK** : it was only supposed to be hypothetical why did it become this

 **dino** : because we both think Soonyoung is hot

 **vernon** : so basically this is a giant relationship

 **seungkwan** : I don’t want to share you though

 **the8** : can everyone just go back to their couples

 **DK** : I mean technically I am

 **DK** : We’re next to each other

 **the8** : I mean away from anyone else

 **mingyu** : how are you going to get jun back

 **the8** : I have ways

 **seungkwan** : EW GROSS

 **seungkwan** : did not need to know

 **the8** : not like that you pervert

 **vernon** : basically how about we all blame this on Soonyoung and Jeonghan and never speak of it again

 **dino** : yeah but

 **vernon** : no buts I don’t care if you want a threesome with seokmin and soonyoung

 **vernon** : jihoon will kill you

[help]

 **vernon** : so we never speak of this again

 **wonwoo** : sounds reasonable

 **woozi** : can I have my man back now

 **woozi** : why aren’t they moving

 **the8** : not again

 **woozi** : chan, seokmin, we are not having a foursome fuck off

 **dino** : disappointing

 **DK** : rude

 **jeonghan** : so everything is normal again?

 **jun** : I mean I guess they were just trying to prove a point so I will take hao back now

 **wonwoo** : I swear I won’t abandon you again mingyu

 **mingyu** : fine I’ll come back

 **angrydad** : well that’s disappointing

 **joshua** : that was high quality entertainment and now it’s just over

 **hoshi** : I felt very appreciated

 **hoshi** : as I should feel

 **woozi** : look what you’ve done you given him a complex.

 **jeonghan** : he already had a complex

 **angrydad** : I can’t believe there’s no more free entertainment

 **DK** : now I’m bored

 **DK** : someone kiss someone again

 **woozi** : NO

 **wonwoo** : please not again

 **jeonghan** : I’m officially announcing that I’m dating everyone so I can do whatever I want

 **jun** : Jeonghan that’s not how these things work

 **jun** : you can’t just announce that you’re dating everyone

 **wonwoo** : I swear I’m going to sleep for 3 years at this rate

 **mingyu** : that’s a coma

 **wonwoo** : sounds fun

 **angrydad** : this is going to be a long Valentine’s Day 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t planning on making this ot13 but now I’m not entirely against the idea. I don’t know if I’ll actually make it happen and I’m keeping the couples for now but we’ll see! This was mainly just for the chaoticness :)


	17. Parental figure we are in need of assistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All seungcheol wants is a day off after the Valentine’s Day antics. Will I give him that? Absolutely not in this household

[help]

**angrydad** : alright I’m taking the day off

**angrydad** : please try not to kill each other or break something today

**jeonghan** : you’re stressing already

**jeonghan** : nothing is going to happen, we’ll be fine

**wonwoo** : I don’t see how anything could happen during practice today

**the8** : Soonyoung broke his arm last time

**wonwoo** : okay I don’t see how anything could happen to a normally functioning human at practice

**hoshi** : hey I can read this!

**angrydad** : just keep the kids under control

**woozi** : that’s impossible

**woozi** : they’re plotting something already I can tell

**seungkwan** : what exactly would we be plotting

**seungkwan** : I don’t even know what I’m having for dinner later never mind coming up with an evil plot

**woozi** : I wasn’t talking about you

**DK** : stop looking at me like that

**dino** : hey what did we do

**woozi** : exist.

**angrydad** : perhaps I shouldn’t take a day off

**joshua** : no you’re having a day off

**joshua** : everything will be fine we got this

**angrydad** : fine okay I trust you

[kids]

**dino** : so remember when we were supposed to be going to practice

**mingyu** : yeah

**dino** : Soonyoung is taking us for icecream

**seungkwan** : hypothetically speaking how does one join the performance team

**mingyu** : you guys are getting ice cream how is this fair

**vernon** : make wonwoo take us for icecream

**mingyu** : it’s not working

**mingyu** : I even did the eyes and he still won’t give in

**DK** : this isn’t fair we’re literally stuck with two of the parents

**seungkwan** : plus jihoon who is in a bad mood

**DK** : he thinks we’re going to put him in a box again and mail him to japan

**mingyu** : why would you be mailing jihoon to japan

**seungkwan** : because he’s being weird

**the8** : update on the icecream

**the8** : Soonyoung doesn’t know where the ice cream place is and we’re lost

**mingyu** : should’ve known it were too good to be true

**vernon** : how do you get lost trying to find an ice cream place

**dino** : because Soonyoung thinks he’s the map from Dora explorer when he really isn’t

**seungkwan** : where are you guys

**the8** : how would we know

**dino** : we are near a big tree

**mingyu** : there are many big trees that ISNT helpful

**the8** : oh great now jun and Soonyoung are arguing

**DK** : I still don’t know how he can get lost

**seungkwan** : why are they arguing

**mingyu** : I have convinced wonwoo to become a search party

**vernon** : we will try to find you

**seungkwan** : oh god 

**DK** : you see we would come along too however Jeonghan would get angry

**dino** : update they are still arguing

**the8** : you know that emoji thing with the eyes and the mouth

**The8** : that’s what we look like right now because I have no idea what the hell is happening

**mingyu** : I still don’t know where you guys are

**dino** : next to a big tree

**mingyu** : THAT DOES NOT HELP!!

**vernon** : wonwoo looks like he hates everything right now

**mingyu** : he does

**mingyu** : he keeps muttering things angrily

**the8** : jun is trying to argue with Soonyoung in chinese

**dino** : Soonyoung doesn’t understand so he’s just yelling back angrily in Korean

**DK** : should we tell jeonghan

**the8** : NO

**the8** : seungcheol is supposed to be having a day off and we all know if Jeonghan finds out he will tell him

**seungkwan** : Jeonghan is a snitch

**dino** : Jeonghan is many things

**mingyu** : so uh we’re also lost

**vernon** : in a completely different place

**seungkwan** : well great

**DK** : what are we supposed to do now

**the8** : I have never seen Soonyoung or jun this angry before

**the8** : and it’s not angry as in ooo Thats hot it’s angry as in I am very scared of you

**dino** : I can’t look at them right now

**dino** : they just keep yelling at each other

**DK** : I will try to sneak out of practice

**seungkwan** : no no this is what you do

**seungkwan** : you pretend to faint and ill “take you back to the dorm”

**DK** : brilliant idea

**mingyu** : wonwoo keeps glaring at me

**vernon** : this is a very uncomfortable situation

**mingyu** : I think he hates us

**vernon** : you’re literally dating him I doubt he hates you

**seungkwan** : just escaped from practice

**DK** : jihoon is even more annoyed at us for ditching

**seungkwan** : we will find you all

**DK** : then we can all get icecream

**the8** : please hurry before they start actually physically fighting

**dino** : I don’t like it

**mingyu** : lol wonwoo just yelled at me

**mingyu** : so I kicked him.

**vernon** : again this is a very uncomfortable situation

**dino** : why can’t I imagine wonwoo yelling

**mingyu** : I swear if he yells at me again I’m going to break up with him

**vernon** : please don’t make this any more uncomfortable for me

**seungkwan** : so seokmin fell in a fountain

**dino** : is he okay???

**seungkwan** : uh I think so

**Seungkwan** : he doesn’t seem hurt

**DK** : LMFAO YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT

**the8** : we know

**mingyu** : wonwoo is being such a dick right now

**mingyu** : how is it my fault we’re lost

**vernon** : Mingyu has stormed off so we may have lost him

**seungkwan** : seokmin where the hell did you go

**DK** : I don’t know

**the8** : uh I think now is probably when we tell Jeonghan

[chat between **Jeonghan** and **the8** ] 

**the8** : promise you won’t get mad

**jeonghan** : what

**the8** : promise.

**jeonghan** : okay I promise

**the8** : you guys are the only ones in practice

**jeonghan** : where is everyone else then?

**the8** : uh well it all started when Soonyoung decided to take us for ice cream instead of doing practice

**the8** : we got lost so then Mingyu, wonwoo and vernon tried to come and find us but they got lost too

**the8** : seokmin Didnt really faint he just did that to ditch and come and find us but then he and seungkwan got lost seperately

**jeonghan** : how have you all managed to get lost.

**the8** : I don’t know, you promised you wouldn’t get angry

**jeonghan** : I’m not angry I’m worried.

**the8** : nobody can find anyone

**jeonghan** : just stay where you are I’ll bring Joshua and jihoon to help find you all

[kids]

**the8** : Jeonghan, Joshua and jihoon are coming to help find us

**mingyu** : I hate wonwoo

**vernon** : you don’t hate him you’re just annoyed he yelled at you

**mingyu** : I do hate him

**seungkwan** : are you guys seriously going to fall out over being lost

**mingyu** : he yelled at me and that hurt

**DK** : maybe he just got stressed out because you’re lost

**mingyu** : no you don’t get it

**the8** : what then

**mingyu** : he promised he wouldn’t be like that

**mingyu** : it just reminded me of that other guy

**dino** : not that guy he was horrible

**seungkwan** : ew I wanted to ship him to the moon

**Vernon** : wonwoo isn’t like him though

**mingyu** : I know it’s just I don’t know

**the8** : you don’t want him to turn out that way?

**mingyu** : maybe I’m not ready for a relationship

**DK** : Mingyu Dont say that

**seungkwan** : hey it’s going to be fine don’t think like that

**the8** : Mingyu, he isn’t going to turn out like him. He’s nothing like that other guy and he loves you even if he isn’t showing it right now

**dino** : when we all get home why don’t you try to talk to him before you decided to do anything like breaking it off

**vernon** : yeah that’s a good idea

**mingyu** : I’m just avoiding him right now

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ]

**DK** : how’s things wherever you are

**dino** : they’ve stopped yelling but they aren’t talking to each other

**dino** : Soonyoung looks kind of sad

**dino** : I suppose he just wanted to do something nice but then it went wrong and now he’s being yelled at for it

**DK** : he’ll be okay, why don’t you try and talk to him and cheer him up?

**dino** : I’ll try, I think minghao is going to try and talk to jun

**DK** : yeah good idea

**DK** : I’m sure Jeonghan will find us soon

**dino** : I hope so

**dino** : I miss you

**DK** : you saw me like 2 hours ago

**dino** : I know but we’re currently sat in the middle of nowhere and it’s scary

**DK** : try not to think about that right now, I’ll give you hugs when I see you :)

**dino** : okay :)

[chat between **Jeonghan** and **the8** ] 

**jeonghan** : so we also got lost

**the8** : oh not you as well

**the8** : why is everyone getting lost

**jeonghan** : blame jihoon he wanted to take a shortcut

**the8** : we’re going to be stuck out here forever

**the8** : it was okay to begin with but now Soonyoung thinks he’s a failure and chan is upset because he wants to see seokmin

**jeonghan** : what about jun

**the8** : hugging me currently to calm down

**jeonghan** : well what are we supposed to do

**The8** : there’s only one thing we can do

**jeonghan** : no

**the8** : we don’t have any other choice.

[chat between **woozi** and **hoshi** ] 

**woozi** : normally I’d be annoyed that you’ve managed to get lost in the middle of nowhere and missed an entire practice however minghao told Jeonghan you were upset

**hoshi** : I just wanted to do something nice but now everyone’s annoyed and upset at me

**woozi** : look you and jun might’ve had a falling out but he doesn’t hate you

**woozi** : he’s probably just stressed because of the situation, not that it excuses his attitude but he definitely doesn’t hate you

**hoshi** : I just feel like I disappointed them

**woozi** : you haven’t disappointed anyone! You tried to do something nice and sure maybe it didn’t go to plan but at least you tried

**hoshi** : I suppose so

**hoshi** : I just don’t like seeing chan upset

**hoshi** : he kept mumbling about how he was never going to see seokmin again

**woozi** : he’ll be okay, most of us would be the same.

**woozi** : stop worrying about it I promise you nobody hates you

**hoshi** : I just want to see you

**hoshi** : I need a hug, if that’s okay

**woozi** : of course it is, I’ll see you soon okay?

**hoshi** : okay :)

[kids]

**the8** : so Jeonghan also got lost

**Dino** : what

**Dino** : we’re all going to die

**dino** : I’m never going to see seokmin again

**DK** : chan, calm down

**DK** : everything is okay

**dino** : but I don’t like it

**Dino** : it’s scary here I just want to go home

**DK** : I’ll phone you just give me a second

**mingyu** : so what do we do now

**the8** : we tell seungcheol

**seungkwan** : he’s going to kill us are you crazy

**vernon** : I mean what else is there to do

**the8** : atleast chan has calmed down now

**seungkwan** : this is a very inappropriate time to say this however

**seungkwan** : THE WAY SEOKMIN JUST SPOKE TO HIM ON THE PHONE

**seungkwan** : crying goodbye

**the8** : BE ON THIS SIDE OF THE CALL AND LOOK AT CHAN’S SMILE

**mingyu** : why are we all fanboying over them

**vernon** : because it’s something good to talk about?

**DK** : we are literally both still here

**dino** : and we can read this

**the8** : chan I need you tell seungcheol we are in need of Assistance

**dino** : why me

**the8** : he’s less likely to be pissed at you

**mingyu** : I hope he finds us or else we’re all screwed

[help]

**dino** : parental figure we are in need of assistance

**angrydad** : do you need help with something at practice?

**dino** : yeah about that

**jun** : everyone is lost

**angrydad** : what

**jeonghan** : we’re all lost

**woozi** : in different places

**angrydad** : how did this happen

**jun** : we went to get ice cream and yeah

**angrydad** : alright give me a second and I’ll come and find you guys

**dino** : are you actually because Mingyu said they would find us and then they got lost too

**wonwoo** : yeah I wonder who’s fault that was

**mingyu** : shut the hell up wonwoo

**angrydad** : what’s up with them

**vernon** : they had a fight

**vernon** : like a bad fight

**Angrydad** : great.

**seungkwan** : alright can someone please just find me and take me home already

**angrydad** : I’ll recruit some other leaders to help

**hoshi** : they added you to their stupid leader chat?

**angrydad** : I was always in it idiot

**angrydad** : I just pretended it didn’t exist

  
[leader chat (these are leaders of bands who have already been mentioned in this book fyi)]

**s.coups** : so I have a problem

**shownu** : no I don’t have one of your kids this time

**taeyong** : get minghao to return marks shoe then we can talk

**RM** : Didn’t one of your kids sell jungkook’s shoe on eBay

**s.coups** : look I’ll get minghao to return the shoes if you help with the issue here

**Shownu** : what’s the issue

**s.coups** : all the kids are missing

**taeyong** : how do you lose all of them

**RM** : seriously? How do you lose 12 other people

**s.coups** : I was taking a day off and they decided to not go to practice and go get ice cream instead and now they’re all lost

**Shownu** : leaders can never have days off that’s where you went wrong

**taeyong** : I can’t have a day off because then everyone just bullies jungwoo

**RM** : I can’t have a day off because the maknae line literally exists and jungkook would eat paper if Taehyung told him it would be funny

**shownu** : I bet I could find these guys in like an hour

**taeyong** : it’ll be easy

**s.coups** : just help please I don’t care how long it takes to find them

[help]

**the8** : you made me return the shoes seriously

**angrydad** : I had to it was the only way they agreed to help me find you guys

**The8** : meh at least I still have the boot

**DK** : well now what happens

**angrydad** : what

**seungkwan** : aren’t you going to lecture us on how to behave like normal humans

**angrydad** : not today, I’m just glad you’re all okay

**jeonghan** : oh my god are you going to cry

**angrydad** : no!

**joshua** : he’s crying

**dino** : well I suppose he did nearly lose his entire family

**jeonghan** : did you just refer to us all as his family 

**Jeonghan** : no I can’t do this today who is cutting the damn onions

**jun** : god that was so

**The8** : really can’t just not say it this once

**jun** : DISGUSTINGLY SWEET IM CRYING

**the8** : oh

**vernon** : well we all survived

**vernon** : time to nap now

**Seungkwan** : YOU LITERALLY JUST SAW ME AND NOW YOU WANT TO SLEEP???

**seungkwan** : unbelievable

[kids]

**mingyu** : I’m going to talk to wonwoo

**the8** : good luck

**DK** : it’s going to be okay I’m sure

**mingyu** : I’ll update you guys in a bit

**seungkwan** : can’t believe I’ve been abandoned for nap time

**DK** : why is everyone doing nap time currently

**DK** : like chan literally walked over to me sat in my lap and went to sleep

**the8** : can everyone stop being so cute what the fuck

**seungkwan** : SEOKMIN WHY WOULD YOU JUST SAY THAT

**seungkwan** : I WANT THAT RIGHT NOW

**the8** : we aren’t cute enough for that

**seungkwan** : true

[chat between **Joshua** , **Jeonghan** and **angrydad** ]

**jeonghan** : did any of you hear shouting

**joshua** : I think so hold on let me open the door and I’ll listen

**angrydad** : who’s shouting?

**joshua** : it sounds like wonwoo and Mingyu

**jeonghan** : Mingyu sounds upset

**angrydad** : hearing wonwoo yell is just unnatural

**joshua** : I know it’s weird

**joshua** : I hope they’ll be okay

**jeonghan** : my parental instincts are going to kick in

**angrydad** : we can’t get involved though, they’ll know we’ve been listening and that’s rude

**jeonghan** : I know but he just sounds so upset

[chat between **Hoshi** and **woozi** ]  
  
 **hoshi** : can you hear yelling

**woozi** : I think wonwoo and Mingyu are fighting again

**hoshi** : I don’t like it

**woozi** : I don’t like it either but there’s not much we can do right now

**hoshi** : are they going to break up?

**woozi** : maybe, I don’t know

**hoshi** : Mingyu sounds really upset

**woozi** : wonwoo must’ve did something to hurt him im guessing

**hoshi** : yeah probably

[kids]

**mingyu** : hi

**seungkwan** : are you okay?

**the8** : we heard the shouting...

**mingyu** : yeah I’m sorry you all had to hear that

**DK** : it’s okay but are you okay?

**mingyu** : he just kept getting more and more angry at me and it’s all so stupid

**mingyu** : I didn’t intend to yell back at him but I lost my temper and it just happened

**the8** : listen that’s not your fault that he’s being like this right now

**mingyu** : I ended it with him

**mingyu** : for now anyway

**DK** : we’re here for you

**seungkwan** : just tell us if you need anything okay

**vernon** : I’m sorry Mingyu, it’ll get better

**mingyu** : I hope so

**mingyu** : can someone let me stay in their room tonight?

**the8** : you can stay with me if you want

**mingyu** : won’t jun mind?

**the8** : he’ll be fine don’t worry about it

**mingyu** : okay then

**seungkwan** : why don’t we all watch a movie tonight to take your mind off it all

**mingyu** : I’d like that

**DK** : alright someone get the snacks

**seungkwan** : I’ll get them

**vernon** : is chan awake?

**DK** : yeah he went to the bathroom he’ll be back in a sec

**the8** : you better not make us watch that zoo movie again

**mingyu** : zootropolis is a good movie what are you talking about

**seungkwan** : you’re attracted to the fox aren’t you

**mingyu** : no.

**seungkwan** : everyone’s attracted to the fox don’t lie

**the8** : fine we’ll watch that then

**mingyu** : yay

**the8** : now what is taking chan so long

**seungkwan** : suspiciously long time in the bathroom

**DK** : don’t look at me like that I didn’t do anything

[chat between **Dino** and **wonwoo** ]

**dino** : you’re an idiot you know that

**dino** : an absolute idiot

**wonwoo** : chan don’t 

**Dino** : no listen to me

**dino** : you promised him you wouldn’t turn out like his ex and look what you’ve done. You’ve hurt him and honestly at this point he deserves better

**wonwoo** : I’ll fix it

**dino** : not today you’re not

**dino** : give him space, it’ll be awhile before he trusts you again

**wonwoo** : you barely even know the situation though why are you getting involved

**dino** : because I was in his position once I know how it feels

**wonwoo** : it still isn’t really anything to do with you

**dino** : you’re unbelievable

**wonwoo** : whatever chan just stay out of my business

[chat between **Hoshi** and **jeonghan** ] 

**Jeonghan** : is there some seokmin and chan drama that I wasnt aware of

**hoshi** : what do you mean? They were cuddling earlier

**jeonghan** : well chan just walked past looking infuriated

**hoshi** : probably at wonwoo

**jeonghan** : oh god he didn’t argue with wonwoo did he

**hoshi** : by the looks of it he did

**Jeonghan** : what is it with those two 

**Hoshi** : he and seokmin care too much that’s their flaws

**jeonghan** : wait so did Mingyu and wonwoo break up

**hoshi** : I think so

**jeonghan** : well this is going to be a fun few days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More drama I’m sorry but I hope you enjoyed this nonetheless :)


	18. Some things are best left in the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will there ever be a non drama filled chapter? Probably not let’s be honest.

[help]

**woozi** : they’re doing it again

**jeonghan** : doing what again

**woozi** : stealing my man.

**dino** : you could join us instead of just standing there you know

**angrydad** : why does this sound dodgy

**hoshi** : it’s not like that.

**woozi** : I hope it’s not like that.

**hoshi** : it isn’t 

**DK** : we are simply hanging out

**woozi** : you do this all the time

**woozi** : he’s my boyfriend.

**dino** : wanna share?

**woozi** : NO

**DK** : well that’s incredibly disappointing

**woozi** : what is you guys obsession with him

**dino** : now why would we tell you that

**wonwoo** : are you seriously having this argument again

**dino** : yeah and what about it I’ll argue with you too if you want

**wonwoo** : you already did that yesterday

**dino** : and I’d do it again

**joshua** : why don’t you just go cuddle each other so jihoon can stop being angry

**DK** : because you don’t understand

**dino** : you really don’t understand

**the8** : are they on drugs?

**mingyu** : no they just want a foursome

**woozi** : I already told you we aren’t having a foursome

**dino** : fine we’ll have a threesome without you

**woozi** : you can’t even get a twosome shut the fuck up

**seungkwan** : oh he went there

**jeonghan** : well then

**angrydad** : this is all too much information

**jun** : that was DISGUSTING

**hoshi** : they both just left

**hoshi** : it’s very awkward

**joshua** : why can’t anyone resolve anything without making it awkward

**mingyu** : because it’s us and we don’t have those capabilities

[kids]

**DK** : I can’t believe he said that

**dino** : that was so embarrassing

**the8** : this is why you don’t try to steal jihoon’s man

**mingyu** : I still don’t understand the obsession

**seungkwan** : I have decided that I’m dating everyone

**vernon** : you’re as bad as Jeonghan.

**vernon** : that’s not how it works you can’t just decide that

**seungkwan** : yes I can, watch me

**the8** : not again

**seungkwan** : what it’s a great idea, have 12 boyfriends so you will constantly get free stuff

**the8** : well I mean now when you put it like that

**mingyu** : they told us to stop talking about this idea

**dino** : but then if we dated everyone wouldn’t everyone still have a preference for who they like the most

**the8** : yes probably and that’s when you’ll find out you and seokmin both like Soonyoung more than each other

**mingyu** : how can I date everyone when wonwoo is being horrible and I’m avoiding him

**DK** : you make up

**mingyu** : can’t I just date someone else instead

**dino** : I mean yeah I guess but then wonwoo would be lonely

**vernon** : and that’s not very interesting if someones lonely

**seungkwan** : I literally just want free stuff someone get me free stuff

**mingyu** : I don’t know whether to fix things with wonwoo or not

**the8** : it depends on how you feel I guess I mean do you still like him

**mingyu** : of course it’s just complicated

**seungkwan** : what if you just made him jealous and then he would realise how stupid he actually is 

**the8** : seungkwan don’t give him terrible ideas

**the8** : Mingyu no.

**mingyu** : why not it sounds like a great idea

**vernon** : or it will make things even worse

**mingyu** : no it wont

**dino** : how are you even supposed to make him jealous if everyone is already in couples

**mingyu** : I didn’t think that far ahead

**seungkwan** : idk cuddle someone or something

**seungkwan** : I’d get annoyed if my man cuddled someone else

**vernon** : I wouldn’t say annoyed last time you threatened to burn me

**Seungkwan** : well it worked didn’t it

**the8** : I really don’t get how this is going to work

**seungkwan** : where did seokmin go

**vernon** : probably away from this terrible idea

**dino** : he left me to go sit with soonyoung

**dino** : i can’t believe this

**seungkwan** : jealous much

**dino** : I am jealous that I wasn’t invited.

**mingyu** : what if it doesn’t work on wonwoo

**the8** : I’m telling you now that it isn’t going to work

**seungkwan** : well then what are we supposed to do just sit around and hope that wonwoo will apologise

**The8** : seems like the safest option

[help]

**woozi** : I can’t believe this.

**jeonghan** : seokchan again?

**woozi** : yes.

**joshua** : they’re going to cause a break up if they aren’t careful

**jun** : shouldn’t Soonyoung just get them to leave if it bothers you that much

**The8** : I mean if they’re just hanging out what’s the issue?

**woozi** : because they are ALWAYS around him

**the8** : they live with him.

**woozi** : yes I know that I’m not utterly stupid

**woozi** : I mean they’re always sitting with him no matter what time it is they’re always there and I literally just want to spend time with MY boyfriend by myself

**jun** : like I said why doesn’t he just tell them that if you’re so bothered

**angrydad** : not this again seriously why don’t you just tell him it’s bothering you

**woozi** : never. Then he will think I’m jealous

**the8** : that is literally what you’re acting like

**jeonghan** : he’s going to see this you know

**seungkwan** : more trouble in paradise

**seungkwan** : who wrote that one down

**joshua** : why don’t you just go pull him away from them then

**the8** : oh please let me solve this

**jun** : what are you going to do

**the8** : I’m going to pull them away from him seeing as jihoon is too scared

**woozi** : I’m not scared!

**seungkwan** : I can’t believe all this fuss because jihoon was jealous

**woozi** : I’m not jealous.

**angrydad** : yeah keep telling yourself that one

[kids]

**DK** : why did you drag us away

**the8** : read the chat

**the8** : jihoon was throwing a hissy fit because he can’t spend time alone with Soonyoung

**dino** : why didn’t he just say and we would’ve left?

**seungkwan** : because he’s “not jealous” apparently

**vernon** : what if they break up now

**DK** : if jihoon blames it on me I swear

**the8** : why would he blame it on you

**dino** : because seokmin had a massive thing for Soonyoung before so he’d probably say he was trying to flirt with Soonyoung again or something

**DK** : yeah that’s why

**DK** : how did you even find out about that

**dino** : you were very obvious.

**seungkwan** : isn’t that awkward for you to think about

**dino** : not really

**dino** : I mean I get jealous but I’m not possessive or anything so I’m not going to get annoyed because he used to have a massive thing for someone else

**mingyu** : I don’t hear any yelling so hopefully everything is okay

**the8** : they better not break up I don’t think I can bare dealing with Soonyoung also being upset right now

**mingyu** : I’m fine now, don’t worry about me

**DK** : are you going to try and sort something out with wonwoo

**mingyu** : yeah I think so

**mingyu** : I was being kind of irrational I was just scared he was going to turn out like him

**the8** : that’s good

[the parents]

**jeonghan** : so jihoon is jealous

**joshua** : yeah we seen and heard

**angrydad** : I also heard that Mingyu is going to sort things with wonwoo

**joshua** : source

**jeonghan** : did you spy on the kids Groupchat again

**angrydad** : no I heard Minghao telling jun

**joshua** : what even happens in the kids Groupchat

**jeonghan** : they talk about dodgy things and probably that time I got my head stuck in the chair

**angrydad** : don’t bring that up again that was so awkward

**joshua** : so it’s like a weirder version of our chat

**jeonghan** : yeah it used to be where seokmin talked about his fantasies

**angrydad** : I’m not sure I want to hear about his fantasies

**joshua** : remember that time he started talking about that weird dream he had about soonyoung

**angrydad** : NO I DONT WANT TO BE REMINDED

**jeonghan** : I wonder if he has weird dreams about chan now

**angrydad** : I really don’t want to think about this

**joshua** : you literally listen to our weird dreams about you

**angrydad** : yes but the difference is we are dating

**jeonghan** : that was a long time ago it’s weird how everything changed since then

**joshua** : what if people weren’t dating the people they were right now

**jeonghan** : could you imagine if seokmin and soonyoung were actually together

**angrydad** : that would be chaos.

**joshua** : I think they would’ve been cute

**jeonghan** : don’t let jihoon hear you say that he may skin you alive

**angrydad** : no he literally will there is no possibility

**joshua** : jihoon can’t say anything I know about his secret crushes.

**angrydad** : now he will seriously kill you if he knows you brought that up again

**joshua** : he was so obvious.

**jeonghan** : where even was Soonyoung at that time

**joshua** : out with seokmin

**joshua** : that was when chan was still with that girl

**angrydad** : oh the period where we all thought chan was straight

**jeonghan** : I kind of suspected it

**angrydad** : you were literally surprised when he told everyone

**jeonghan** : yeah I know because I only suspected I didn’t actually know

**joshua** : when chan was still with that girl I was sure seokmin was going to end up falling for Soonyoung again

**angrydad** : to be honest I thought there could’ve been some sort of drama during that time

**jeonghan** : I think Soonyoung is one of those people who’ll always have a special place in his heart

**jeonghan** : not necessarily romantically but he cares about him a lot

**joshua** : you mean like some sort of platonic soulmates?

**jeonghan** : yeah you could say that

**angrydad** : how did we even get into this conversation anyway

**jeonghan** : Uh I don’t know how we got onto seokmin

**joshua** : what were we talking about before we decided recap seokmin’s entire love life

**angrydad** : I have no idea

[kids]  
  


**the8** : so Mingyu and wonwoo are talking

**the8** : hopefully they sort things out

**seungkwan** : the parents are being weird

**DK** : Jeonghan has this weird fond smile 

**Dino** : he must be plotting something

**Vernon** : maybe he’s just happy?

**DK** : it’s Jeonghan.

**the8** : they were texting about something earlier

**the8** : Joshua was sitting across from me and his phone was going off like crazy

**vernon** : how did you know he was texting Jeonghan though

**the8** : his face only ever lights up when he gets texts from jeonghan

**DK** : what not even when Seungcheol texts him

**the8** : it does but not as much

**dino** : well that’s awkward considering they are literally in a threesome

**seungkwan** : to be fair joshua and Jeonghan were together first

**DK** : oh yeah I forgot that they weren’t always a threesome

**vernon** : I genuinely can’t remember before there was three of them

**seungkwan** : they used to sneak around a lot more back then

**dino** : it’s weird to think that it used to only be Joshua and jeonghan

**the8** : it’s quite disturbing to think about I’m used to them being in their weird threesome

**vernon** : I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word threesome written so many times in such a short space of time in my life

**seungkwan** : it’s weird how different things are

**dino** : remember when you all thought I was straight

**the8** : no offence chan but that was the worst period in everyone’s life

**the8** : like seriously I had to listen to seokmin complain everyday

**DK** : I was not that bad.

**seungkwan** : you literally had a breakdown when you find out and wouldn’t cheer up until Soonyoung and Jeonghan sat with you for hours.

**dino** : wait that’s why you were upset that night

**DK** : haha yeah

**vernon** : the whole dorm atmosphere was off for like a week after that situation

**the8** : he is literally the sun what do you expect

**seungkwan** : yeah that situation was weird we all thought you were going to get over him instead

**DK** : I don’t get over people I don’t have that ability

**seungkwan** : but what about

**DK** : okay maybe I got over one person

**dino** : who are we talking about?

**DK** : it doesn’t matter

**the8** : do you reckon Mingyu and wonwoo have made up

**seungkwan** : expert changing the subject

**vernon** : I haven’t heard anything from either of them so I don’t know

[help]

**woozi** : okay why does Jeonghan look so happy

**woozi** : who fell over in public.

**jeonghan** : I can’t believe you think I’d laugh at other people’s misfortune

**woozi** : I literally fell over and instead of helping me up you laughed.

**jeonghan** : in my defense it was hilarious

**joshua** : we were talking about what things used to be like and what things could’ve been

**angrydad** : yeah it was nothing interesting

**angrydad** : do not say anything joshua.

**seungkwan** : you see by saying you don’t want him to say anything I now want to know what was said

**vernon** : what was said

**jun** : if it’s about the chair situation please don’t elaborate.

**joshua** : we were talking about that time when everyone thought chan was straight

**dino** : oh we just spoke about this

**jun** : why was this not discussed in the old people chat

**jun** : I feel left out

**jeonghan** : because we were gossiping

**seungkwan** : is it actually called the old people chat

**jun** : no it’s actually called ???

**the8** : I still can’t believe we thought he was straight

**dino** : I’m not surprised Jeonghan was gossiping in the slightest

**joshua** : we were also talking about how people could’ve ended up in different couples

**woozi** : what do you mean.

**angrydad** : Joshua stop talking

**jeonghan** : you know he’ll just steal one of our phones and read the chats anyway

**angrydad** : fair point

**seungkwan** : if I wasn’t with Vernon I don’t know who I’d be with

**the8** : I dread to think who people thought I’d end up with

**seungkwan** : thought you’d end up with Mingyu or seokmin not going to lie

**vernon** : did he have a crush on one of them

**the8** : AND THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT

**jun** : both actually

**the8** : I can’t believe you just betrayed me like that.

**joshua** : anyway speaking of seokmin I thought he’d end up with Soonyoung 

**DK** : what

**hoshi** : what

**woozi** : WHAT.

**angrydad** : rip joshua

**dino** : there may be murder tonight

**seungkwan** : there will definitely be a murder tonight

**woozi** : :)

**mingyu** : what the fuck is going on

**mingyu** : why is jihoon doing the passive aggressive smileys again

**seungkwan** : because Joshua said he thought Soonyoung and seokmin would’ve ended up together and his possessiveness just appeared

**DK** : why did Joshua think that though

**hoshi** : yeah I’m confused

**jeonghan** : so oblivious.

**woozi** : I am going to strangle someone

**wonwoo** : yeah so in other news Mingyu and I made up

**mingyu** : yeah I was being irrational

**Jun** : are you back together or

**wonwoo** : not right now but we’ll see

**woozi** : I’m seriously going to strangle joshua

**the8** : I guess some thoughts are better left in the past

**angrydad** : I did warn him

**hoshi** : I’m still so confused

[chat between **Joshua** and **the8** ] 

**the8** : so what’s this theory that seokmin and soonyoung could’ve ended up together

**joshua** : do you know something is that why you’re asking

**the8** : I have my suspicions

**joshua** : well obviously during the whole straight chan incident I thought he was just going to get over him and then maybe his old feelings for Soonyoung would’ve came back

**the8** : seokmin said he doesn’t have the ability to get over people

**joshua** : but that would mean that

**the8** : the feelings are still there but he’s ignoring them

**joshua** : it’s not like I want him and chan to break up

**the8** : I don’t want them to break up I just worry what might happen especially with this whole jealous jihoon thing

**joshua** : for now it seems like they have some sort of platonic soulmate thing going on or at least that’s what Jeonghan said

**the8** : yeah I get that

**joshua** : I mean if he’s with chan I suppose things should be okay

**the8** : I’ll keep an eye on things I don’t want anything else messy to happen

**joshua** : good idea

[help]

**dino** : so who wants to play mario kart

**seungkwan** : me and I will beat you this time

**Dino** : you said that last time

**angrydad** : just don’t throw the controller at the tv this time

**seungkwan** : it was an accident!

**angrydad** : how do you accidentally throw a controller at such force that it breaks the tv

**seungkwan** : I’ve been working out I can’t control my strength

**vernon** : some times I wonder why were dating

**seungkwan** : what you want to break up now

**vernon** : NO.

**Seungkwan** : that’s what I thought

**the8** : I’ll play and absolutely floor both of you

**dino** : it’s on.

**jeonghan** : this isn’t going to end well is it

**wonwoo** : what was that loud crash

**angrydad** : SEUNGKWAN.

**seungkwan** : oh shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry that I took a long time to post again I’ve had a lot going on :)


	19. Another dramatic day in the seventeen household

[chat between **the8** and **mingyu** ] 

**the8** : okay so if a person ignores their feelings for someone do you think that eventually they’ll have a meltdown and realise they’re actually in love with them

**mingyu** : is this about me and wonwoo?

**the8** : what

**the8** : no it’s not about you and wonwoo

**mingyu** : then why are you asking me

**the8** : just answer the question

**mingyu** : who are we talking about??

**the8** : it doesn’t matter just give me an answer

**mingyu** : I don’t know

**the8** : well that was a great input thanks mingyu

**mingyu** : I mean it’s a possibility I guess but I couldn’t really give you a definite answer considering I don’t know who were talking about 

**the8** : I’m not telling you who

**mingyu** : is this secretly about you or something

**the8** : no it’s not

**mingyu** : jun?

**the8** : Mingyu I’m not telling you I just wanted an answer

**mingyu** : fine be like that

**the8** : you’re impossible.

[help]

**angrydad** : right so guess who has to go buy a new tv because someone broke it again

**seungkwan** : it was Chan’s fault

**dino** : don’t blame this on me you were the one who threw it

**angrydad** : would anyone like to accompany me so I don’t go insane

**wonwoo** : I’ll join you I need out of this chaotic place

**woozi** : I’ll come too

**angrydad** : Where’s jeonghan

**joshua** : sleeping, don’t worry I’ll make sure nobody dies whilst you’re gone

**angrydad** : okay but please no fighting or fire or dance parties whilst we’re gone

**jun** : I swear if someone commits arson again I’m leaving this band

**the8** : oh please Seungcheol took away my lighter privileges last time

**seungkwan** : that’s because you literally set me on fire

**the8** : you were under my bed??

**angrydad** : anyway please just do normal things whilst were gone I do not want to come home to find anyone participating in any of Soonyoung’s weird furry antics

**hoshi** : for the last time I’m not a furry

**woozi** : debatable

**Hoshi** : fuck you

**woozi** : :)

**joshua** : just go and hurry back

**wonwoo** : we’re going now 

**Dino** : bye parental figure, demon and wonwoo

**woozi** : now listen here you little shit

**Woozi** : I will remove your eyeballs with a spork.

**the8** : won’t that just prove his point?

  
[kids]

**dino** : I want ice cream

**the8** : then go and buy ice cream at the shop

**seungkwan** : you could’ve went with the rest of them to the shops and bought some

**dino** : and get my eyeballs removed with a spork? No thank you

**dino** : I’ll go myself

**vernon** : please don’t get lost again

**dino** : I have google maps

**the8** : okay well just be careful

**seungkwan** : where the hell is seokmin

**seungkwan** : why does he just disappear and go silent for ages

**the8** : I don’t know let me go see if he’s still sleeping

**mingyu** : what did I miss

**seungkwan** : chan is buying ice cream and nobody knows if seokmin is alive

**The8** : he’s alive

**seungkwan** : well where is he

**the8** : it doesn’t matter

[chat between **Mingyu** and **the8** ] 

**mingyu** : what are you hiding.

**the8** : I’m not hiding anything

**mingyu** : yes you are you clearly know where he is but you’re refusing to say anything

**the8** : because he’s talking to someone right now and I don’t want him to think I was eavesdropping

**mingyu** : okay what is going on.

**the8** : nothing is going on

**mingyu** : then why are you being weird about it

**the8** : I just don’t want another situation to happen

**mingyu** : you mean like what happened with me and wonwoo

**the8** : yeah I guess

**the8** : I’m probably just looking into things too much

**mingyu** : things will be fine you don’t need to worry

**the8** : how can you be so sure?

**mingyu** : because things always turn out fine around here no matter what

**the8** : I guess so

**mingyu** : so you don’t need to worry it’ll be fine whatever it is

[???]

**Jeonghan** : I am tired and I am upset

**angrydad** : what happened this time

**jeonghan** : I had a terrible dream

**Jun** : why are you telling us this

**woozi** : yeah Jeonghan no offence but I really don’t care

**jeonghan** : I can’t believe this.

**jeonghan** : I had a dream that I had 12 boyfriends and they all cheated on me

**joshua** : well that’s Uh interesting

**jun** : did you dream about us all dating again

**jeonghan** : no

**Jun** : really?

**jeonghan** : maybe

**angrydad** : Jeonghan please we talked about this

**woozi** : why is Soonyoung dead

**joshua** : I think he mentioned that he was going to sleep

**woozi** : strange

**jun** : oh great he’s paranoid again

**Jeonghan** : just date everyone then you don’t need to be paranoid

**woozi** : I can’t just date everyone that’s not how it works.

**jeonghan** : sure it is

**jeonghan** : watch this

[help]

**jeonghan** : minghao

**the8** : I literally did not do anything

**jeonghan** : we’re dating now

**the8** : Uh okay?

**woozi** : Jeonghan that’s not how it works

**jeonghan** : he said okay

**seungkwan** : does that mean I can just announce I’m dating everyone and get free stuff

**vernon** : what is your obsession with free stuff

**seungkwan** : are you trying to say you don’t like free stuff

**vernon** : no but you’re obsessed

**angrydad** : Jeonghan look what you’ve started again

**Jeonghan** : embrace it I have 3 boyfriends now

**jun** : I can’t believe you’ve done this

**the8** : I have no idea what just happened

**jun** : you’re apparently dating Jeonghan now

**the8** : could be worse I guess

**mingyu** : I can’t believe we’re having this conversation AGAIN.

**the8** : we have this conversation like once a day

**woozi** : it’s because Jeonghan has a crush on everyone

**jeonghan** : listen it’s not my fault you’re all hot 

**Joshua** : Jeonghan please

**Hoshi** : Uh what did I miss?

**Vernon** : it’s best not to ask

**wonwoo** : I did not expect to come on here to jeonghan saying everyone is hot

**jeonghan** : anyway I’m going to back to sleep

**angrydad** : it’s the middle of the day Jeonghan

**jeonghan** : time isn’t real I had cereal at 4am 

**hoshi** : that’s kind of normal I do that

**wonwoo** : yes and that makes it completely abnormal

[chat between **DK** and **mingyu** ]

**mingyu** : have you died or something

**Mingyu** : like seriously where are you

**mingyu** : seokmin

**DK** : I’m not dead

**DK** : I was sleeping

**mingyu** : you weren’t in your room

**DK** : that’s because I left my room

**mingyu** : is something going on?

**DK** : why would something be going on?

**mingyu** : I don’t know you've just been quiet and thats unlike you

**DK** : like I said I was sleeping so that’s why

**mingyu** : where even are you

**DK** : it doesn’t matter

**mingyu** : see now you’re being secretive

**DK** : I’m not being secretive look I’m going back to my room if you want to talk come and find me

**mingyu** : okay then

[help]

**seungkwan** : when will you sort the new tv so I can play mario kart

**angrydad** : you're banned from playing mario kart 

**seungkwan** : that is so unfair

**angrydad** : this is the third tv we’ve had in a month seungkwan.

**dino** : you mean none of us can play it

**Angrydad** : no you’re not playing it anymore we can’t afford to keep replacing things

**woozi** : finally I don’t have to listen to their screeching at 3am

[the parents]

**angrydad** : Jeonghan I know you’re not actually sleeping

**jeonghan** : how did you know

**angrydad** : I can see that you’re active.

**joshua** : has anyone seen seokmin today

**jeonghan** : no has he like died or something

**angrydad** : why would he be dead?

**jeonghan** : I don’t know

**jeonghan** : maybe he’s busy with chan

**Joshua** : I think chan is with seungkwan

**jeonghan** : have you checked the obvious place

**angrydad** : he wasn’t in his room I checked earlier

**jeonghan** : no not his room

**joshua** : then where

**jeonghan** : wherever Soonyoung is he’s probably there

**angrydad** : thats good point actually he’s always with him recently

**joshua** : yeah that’s what I’m worried about

**jeonghan** : why it’s not like he’s in love with him or something

**joshua** : ...

**angrydad** : oh god what do you know

**joshua** : Minghao told me that seokmin said in their group that he doesn’t have the ability to get over people

**jeonghan** : oh please not another situation

**jeonghan** : he loves chan though

**joshua** : yeah but if you remember what he was like before chan

**angrydad** : well this is not what I needed to hear today

**jeonghan** : this is an emergency what do we do now what if jihoon finds out there’s going to be a murder oh my god

**angrydad** : this is not an emergency stop panicking.

**joshua** : it’s not an emergency but it’s not great either I don’t particularly want to watch seokmin and jihoon go to war

**angrydad** : I mean nothing has happened yet so unless something does happen we can’t really do anything

**jeonghan** : I told you we should just date everyone then we wouldn’t need to panic

**angrydad** : for the last time we are never dating everyone

**jeonghan** : sources say that’s a lie

**angrydad** : what

**jeonghan** : what

**joshua** : what was that

**jeonghan** : I don’t know must be a glitch or something

**angrydad** : you’re being weird again this is like the time you started talking about a plot twist

**jeonghan** : I don’t know what you’re talking about

[kids]

**seungkwan** : *sends link*

**seungkwan** : sign my petition to let us play mario kart again

**mingyu** : I can’t believe you actually made a petition about this

**dino** : we really like mario kart okay

**DK** : you know he’s not going to change his mind seungkwan has broke too many TVs

**seungkwan** : how was I supposed to know it would break

**DK** : because you’d already broken one by doing that??

**the8** : break another one and pledis kicks you out

**vernon** : I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked out for stealing shoes

**the8** : I still have the boot

**the8** : yeah stray kids aren’t Particularly happy about that

**seungkwan** : who’s boot is it?

**the8** : I don’t know I just stole it

**DK** : you don’t know who’s boot you stole

**the8** : it doesn’t exactly have a big tag on it saying “this boot belongs to bang chan” does it 

**Vernon** : what have you even done with the boot

**the8** : nothing it sits in the back of my closet

**Dino** : then what was the point in stealing it?

**the8** : it was funny at the time

**DK** : anyways chan are you busy

**dino** : no why

**DK** : I’m coming to see you

**dino** : okay :)

**the8** : I think I’m going to go see Jun

**seungkwan** : wait chan did you actually get ice cream earlier?

**dino** : yeah but me and seokmin are eating it currently

**seungkwan** : I have never felt more betrayed

[chat between **hoshi** and **woozi** ] 

**hoshi** : are you avoiding me?

**woozi** : why would I be avoiding you?

**hoshi** : I don’t know you tell me

**woozi** : fine maybe I was

**hoshi** : but why?

**woozi** : because you’ve been spending so much time with seokmin

**Hoshi** : we’re just friends jihoon

**woozi** : it’s like you’re completely oblivious to the way he acts around you

**woozi** : he practically acts like you’re his boyfriend

**hoshi** : are you perhaps jealous?

**woozi** : I can’t help it he’s always around you

**woozi** : the way he looks at you and cuddles up to you as if I don’t exist

**woozi** : it’s as if he doesn’t even like chan and he’s only with him because he can’t have you

**hoshi** : come on jihoon you know it’s not like that

**woozi** : well that’s what it looks like soonyoung

**hoshi** : if it bothered you that much why didn’t you just tell me instead of avoiding me and blaming this on seokmin

**woozi** : because you play into his actions it’s like you don’t even realise

**hoshi** : like I said we’re just friends I can’t help it if we’re both clingy people

**woozi** : yes but you encourage him to be like that and it annoys me

**hoshi** : well what do you want me to do? Avoid him?

**woozi** : maybe

**hoshi** : you seriously want me to avoid him because you’re jealous

**woozi** : see you don’t even care that it’s annoying me

**hoshi** : I do care I just think you’re being over the top

**woozi** : I’m not being over the top I’m annoyed that you’re not listening to me

**hoshi** : yes because you’re being dumb why would I completely avoid seokmin just because you clearly don’t trust me

**woozi** : it’s not that I don’t trust you I just don’t trust him

**hoshi** : I can’t believe you’re seriously saying this right now

**hoshi** : I’m going out I’ll be back later

**woozi** : Soonyoung wait

**woozi** : don’t ignore me!

[chat between **the8** and **jun** ] 

**the8** : I’m sensing another argument

**jun** : yeah Soonyoung just stormed out

**the8** : I knew this was going to happen

**the8** : Where’s seokmin

**jun** : in Chan’s room why

**the8** : I really hope seokmin hasn’t done something stupid

**jun** : how do you mean?

**the8** : well you know jihoon’s been jealous because seokmin has been spending a lot of time with soonyoung

**jun** : you don’t think something happened between the two of them do you?

**the8** : I don’t know either that or jihoon just snapped because he’s jealous

**jun** : he and Soonyoung argue a lot

**the8** : really?

**jun** : yeah I hear them yelling a lot

**the8** : I hope they don’t break up I mean we just had Mingyu and wonwoo make up finally

**jun** : I mean if they do it might be for the best considering how often they argue 

**the8** : everything literally just got back to normal though I don’t know if I can deal with this again

**jun** : we don’t have to get involved I mean really it’s their business anyway

**the8** : yeah I guess so

[chat between **Dino** and **angrydad** ]

**dino** : please help

**angrydad** : chan what’s happened?

**dino** : jihoon is yelling at seokmin

**angrydad** : why?

**dino** : Uh he’s jealous because seokmin spends a lot of time with Soonyoung and I think he thinks that seokmin is trying to flirt with him or something like that

**angrydad** : so basically seokmin hasn’t actually done anything

**dino** : yeah pretty much

**angrydad** : I’ll be there in a second and take him somewhere to calm down

**angrydad** : where actually is Soonyoung 

**dino** : I don’t know I think he left

**angrydad** : I’ll get wonwoo to see if he can find him

**dino** : okay

[chat between **angrydad** and **wonwoo** ]

**angrydad** : I hate to be a bother but Soonyoung has stormed out

**wonwoo** : what happened?

**angrydad** : jihoon finally snapped

**wonwoo** : oh that he was jealous? I was wondering when that would happen

**wonwoo** : I’ll see if I can track down Soonyoung for you

**angrydad** : thanks, this is going to be a long night

[kids]

**DK** : jihoon hates me

**mingyu** : what why?

**DK** : because I spend too much time with Soonyoung and apparently I’m only with chan because I can’t have Soonyoung

**seungkwan** : okay that was harsh

**vernon** : I mean you and Soonyoung are really close but it’s not like you flirt with him?

**mingyu** : why would he even think that was okay to say

**DK** : now i dont know what to do

**DK** : I’ve caused this and I don’t know how to fix it

**mingyu** : it’s not your fault 

**seungkwan** : maybe if jihoon actually gave Soonyoung more love

**vernon** : seungkwan really not helping

**seungkwan** : no listen to me

**seungkwan** : he knows that Soonyoung is clingy, everyone knows that. Why did he date him if he’s going to get annoyed about Soonyoung being his normal self with people other than him especially when jihoon is always arguing with him and only cares when he wants attention. Maybe he’s the one in a relationship because he can’t be with someone else

**mingyu** : either way jihoon seems to be acting over the top which I know is hypocritical coming from me

**vernon** : I just don’t get why he’s yelling at seokmin like if he was that bothered why didn’t he just talk to Soonyoung about it

**dino** : he wants someone to blame for their relationship thats falling apart

**DK** : I’ll try to avoid them for now I don’t want to make anything worse

**DK** : which sucks I might add because now I feel guilty about not going after Soonyoung

**the8** : okay everyone I know you’re all super mad right now but can we please not turn this into a whole band affair. It’s up to jihoon to fix the mess Hes created and if he doesn’t then thats on him if he loses Soonyoung

**seungkwan** : how can you be so calm right now

**the8** : I’m not I just don’t want to see anyone else get hurt like last time everyone got involved

**vernon** : nobody will get hurt if it gets handled properly

**the8** : that’s the thing jihoon is basically throwing a tantrum right now

[chat between **hoshi** and **DK** ] 

**hoshi** : I’m sorry you got dragged into this mess

**DK** : I’m okay don’t worry

**hoshi** : you don’t have to lie to me seokmin I know he said some hurtful things

**DK** : it’s just does he really think I’m just using chan?

**hoshi** : I’d like to think it’s just the jealousy talking otherwise he’s clearly an idiot to think that

**DK** : I just don’t want you to break up because of me

**hoshi** : you’ve done nothing wrong though, he’s being irrational

**DK** : I still feel guilty

**hoshi** : I’ll try and sort things out with him and hopefully things can go back to normal

**DK** : okay just be careful Hes in a terrible mood

**hoshi** : I’ll be okay I just want everything to be okay again so we can all go back to being best friends

**DK** : yeah

[the parents]

**angrydad** : so jihoon finally snapped and now thinks that seokmin is only with chan because he can’t be with soonyoung

**jeonghan** : we all saw that one coming although that’s kind of harsh for him to say

**joshua** : I feel bad for Soonyoung who has to deal with that

**angrydad** : I mean seokmin and soonyoung are naturally clingy that’s why they spend so much time together because they don’t have to worry about annoying each other

**joshua** : yeah it seems like jihoon’s jealousy has gone a bit far this time

**jeonghan** : he’ll come around I’m sure but in the meantime we should not let this involve everyone because you saw what happened last time

**joshua** : yeah I think Soonyoung went to try and sort things out before it gets really bad

**angrydad** : seriously I just need one day without anyone arguing

**jeonghan** : we need a holiday

**angrydad** : I’m seriously going to ask management for a band holiday to see if everyone will just relax for a week

**joshua** : good luck with that

**angrydad** : seriously we need it before anything else happens

**jeonghan** : I mean I don’t hear any yelling so perhaps they’re sorting things out

**angrydad** : don’t speak so soon

[help]

**woozi** : id just like to say I’m sorry for the way I behaved tonight it wasn’t acceptable and I didn’t have the right to blame someone else for my own insecurities so I’m sorry seokmin and soonyoung and to everyone else who had to witness that

**DK** : it’s okay I understand

**angrydad** : as long as everything is okay now

**woozi** : yeah me and Soonyoung have decided to take a break for awhile 

**hoshi** : we haven’t officially “broken up” but we’re taking a break from each other for awhile

**mingyu** : as long as you’re both happy

**woozi** : yeah it was a mutual decision

[chat between **DK** and **dino** ] 

**DK** : I feel guilty

**dino** : but jihoon said it wasn’t a break up

**DK** : it’s not their break i feel guilty about

**dino** : oh? Then what’s wrong

**DK** : I feel like I’ve neglected you recently I know I’ve spent way too much time with Soonyoung no matter how much anyone tries to justify it I know I’ve still done wrong here. 

**Dino** : seokmin honestly I don’t mind I’ve been hanging out with seungkwan a lot too

**DK** : I know but I just feel guilty about it considering you’re my boyfriend and I’ve barely spent any time with you recently

**dino** : well do you want to do something now?

**DK** : I thought you were busy playing games

**dino** : seokmin I can play games anytime it’s not like they’re going to disappear anytime soon

**DK** : what and I am?

**dino** : no stupid I meant that 

**Dino** : oh you know what just come to my room 

**DK** : okay then I’ll be there in a sec

[???]

**jun** : which one of you idiots ate my food

**jeonghan** : not me

**jun** : well it was fucking one of you

**hoshi** : it was seungkwan I saw him

**jun** : you watched him eat my food that’s equally as bad

**hoshi** : what did you want me to do grab it out his mouth 

**angrydad** : can’t you just get another piece?

**jun** : that was the last piece

**jun** : I can’t believe he’s ate it

**wonwoo** : just buy more then

**jun** : it’s late I’m not going out by myself

**joshua** : then stop complaining

**jun** : unbelievable

[chat between **jun** and **seungkwan** ]

**jun** : I can’t believe you

**seungkwan** : what

**jun** : I know you ate my food

**seungkwan** : how do you know it was me what’s to say it wasn’t Minghao who did it

**Jun** : he knows better

**seungkwan** : anyway source? Or is it a trust me bro

**jun** : Soonyoung saw you

**seungkwan** : this is betrayal I can’t believe him

[help]

**seungkwan** : I have been BETRAYED

**jeonghan** : oh for goodness sake

**hoshi** : it’s not my fault you ate his food

**seungkwan** : you snitched on me

**mingyu** : I was expecting something much more exciting than seungkwan eating someones food

**seungkwan** : oh well sorry it wasn’t Soonyoung broadcasting that I’d declared my love for someone

**angrydad** : who’s declaring their love for who?

**seungkwan** : nobody

**the8** : I wouldn’t say nobody

**wonwoo** : what

**jun** : what

**seungkwan** : what

**the8** : I mean I would say chan was

**angrydad** : right thanks for that information

**jun** : today on things I didn’t need to know

**seungkwan** : it’s not as bad as Jeonghan trying to tell us the talk

**jeonghan** : listen i was very informative

**seungkwan** : you tried to tell us about kinky stuff.

**jeonghan** : it was still informative

**seungkwan** : and scarring.

**wonwoo** : I have no idea what to do with any of this information

**angrydad** : Jeonghan please stop trying to tell the kids about bdsm

**jun** : MY EYES STOP

**hoshi** : Hello pledis? Yeah is it too late to drop out of the band

**seungkwan** : so anyway this was a LOVELY conversation but I’ll now be going to bleach my eyes

**vernon** : I’ll join you on that one

**angrydad** : one normal day is all I ask for please why must I suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there’s no drama in the next chapter but anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! 
> 
> Sorry for any spelling mistakes etc I should have mentioned at the beginning of the book that english is not my first language :)


	20. Holiday chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t normally do chapters with the written paragraphs because I’m not that confident at it but I thought I’d give it ago! I’m not sure if I’ll continue this for every chapter it may only be for some :)

[help]

**jeonghan** : I still don’t know how you convinced management to let us have 3 days away

**angrydad** : I said I’d quit

**woozi** : well that’s one way to get what you want I guess

**DK** : How long till we get there

**angrydad** : over an hour

**angrydad** : sleep or something

**DK** : I don’t want to sleep but I’m bored

**hoshi** : car rides are boring

**dino** : I still can’t believe they squished us all in the back this isn’t fair

**the8** : oh stop complaining 

**angrydad** : just entertain yourselves and stop complaining

**hoshi** : I’m going to sleep

**dino** : don’t use me as a pillow I swear

**mingyu** : your car sounds chaotic

**seungkwan** : it is you’ve got them three in the back screeching when we went in a tunnel

**DK** : in my defense it was scary

**jun** : it was literally just a tunnel

**DK** : yeah I swear I saw something looking at me from outside

**wonwoo** : so our car is normal and yours is weird why am I not surprised

**dino** : because your car has sensible people

**jun** : I can’t believe you left me in charge of all of them

**joshua** : you have Soonyoung with you though

**jun** : he is literally encouraging them to be loud.

**jun** : he’s just whipped uno out of nowhere

**jeonghan** : why does he just casually have uno at hand

**Mingyu** : you seriously want to question that out of all the strange things he’s done

**seungkwan** : You don’t want to question the fact Hes brought 15 tiger plushies with him and is basically dressed like one

**joshua** : yeah that’s normal at this point

**angrydad** : I thought he was going to sleep

**the8** : chan won’t let him use his shoulder as a pillow

**jun** : just use seokmin he’s literally sitting in the middle of them

**Hoshi** : but were playing uno now

**seungkwan** : yeah we can hear that

[kids]

**mingyu** : okay so your car sounds much more interesting I wish I was there

**the8** : you could’ve came with us and we’d have set Soonyoung with the others

**mingyu** : yeah going to be honest I only went with them because I knew wonwoo was there

**DK** : I’m being used as a pillow

**seungkwan** : don’t complain you’re secretly enjoying it

**DK** : I am not!

**dino** : he is

**DK** : you are supposed to be on my side

**the8** : is Vernon alive like at all

**seungkwan** : yeah don’t worry he is breathing

**seungkwan** : he’s just tired

**mingyu** : the parents are being disgusting

**dino** : that doesn’t surprise anyone

**DK** : well that must be a great experience for you

**mingyu** : yeah it’s very awkward

**mingyu** : I can see Jihoon making disgusted faces

**the8** : seokmin did Soonyoung actually go to sleep

**DK** : you literally could’ve just turned round and looked

**the8** : jun is cuddling me I’m not missing this opportunity

**DK** : ugh fine but yeah he’s asleep

**dino** : he genuinely looks like a furry

**mingyu** : he always looks like a furry thats nothing new

**seungkwan** : atleast we don’t have listen to him being extremely loud now

**DK** : yeah but I have to deal with him using me as a pillow

**the8** : it can’t be that bad

[???]

**jun** : is it too early to get married

**angrydad** : oh not marriage talk again

**jun** : are you trying to say you’re never getting married

**angrydad** : no but nobody is getting married right now

**jeonghan** : well that’s unfair I bought a ring and everything

**wonwoo** : what

**jeonghan** : I was going to propose

**joshua** : what

**angrydad** : what

**jun** : I was joking but WHAT

**woozi** : he’s talking about haribo rings

**woozi** : he’s waving them at me on his fingers

**angrydad** : well that’s a relief

**angrydad** : not that I don’t want to marry you Jeonghan just not right now

**jeonghan** : would anyone like a haribo

**wonwoo** : not particularly if you’ve touched all of them

**jeonghan** : my hands are clean I’ll have you know

**jun** : this car is weirdly quiet and I fear they are plotting something

**joshua** : maybe they finally went to sleep for awhile

**jun** : I doubt it I can hear seungkwan whispering

**angrydad** : basically just good luck at this point

**wonwoo** : I don’t get how they aren’t tired out

**jeonghan** : half of them are used to staying up most of the night thats how

**jun** : well chan and Soonyoung are definitely asleep

**jun** : seungkwan is definitely plotting something

**joshua** : we’ll be there soon so I doubt he’ll have time to do anything

**jun** : he will find a way

[chat between **DK** and **mingyu** ] 

**DK** : help they’ve both fallen asleep

**mingyu** : and that’s a bad thing because

**DK** : I don’t know it’s just they’ve sort of cuddled up together 

**Mingyu** : please don’t start screaming

**DK** : my heart is going to explode

**mingyu** : you find everything adorable i swear

**DK** : no look seriously *image attached*

**mingyu** : okay nevermind you have a point

**DK** : see I told you

**mingyu** : watch out chan might leave you for his new cuddle buddy

**DK** : he wouldn’t dare

**mingyu** : do you think we’re nearly there?

**DK** : maybe it feels like we’ve been driving for years

**mingyu** : it’s only been two and a half hours

**DK** : exactly that’s an age

**mingyu** : I suppose you’re right

**DK** : didn’t Seungcheol say that we were nearly there

**mingyu** : yeah but that was ages ago and we clearly aren’t there yet

**DK** : ugh I’m going to sleep then

**mingyu** : you just want an excuse to cuddle

**DK** : shut up you literally ditched us because you wanted to be with wonwoo

**mingyu** : I missed him okay

**DK** : you live in the same room Mingyu

**mingyu** : thats different

**DK** : is it?

[help]

**seungkwan** : are we nearly there yet?

**angrydad** : yeah we’ll be there soon

**seungkwan** : you said that like an hour ago

**jeonghan** : he lied

[ **seungkwan** has changed **angrydads** name to **liar** ] 

**liar** : why is it always my name

**mingyu** : because nobody else has done anything that requires a name change

**wonwoo** : Soonyoung is literally a furry how HASNT his been changed

**the8** : I don’t know I think we just bully seungcheol

**liar** : yes you do

**joshua** : why’s everyone so quiet

**jun** : the chaotic kids are asleep

**vernon** : I was wondering why the car suddenly went really quiet

**woozi** : they probably got tired from being so loud

**seungkwan** : how do people sleep in cars my neck feels like it’s going to fall off

**jun** : they’re using each other as a pillow

**jeonghan** : what and you’re just not going to show us

**jun** : why do you want to see a pic of them sleeping

**jeonghan** : it sounded cute

**the8** : I dread to think how many pics of us sleeping you have

**jeonghan** : DONT MAKE IT WEIRD

**the8** : YOU ALREADY MADE IT WEIRD???

**Liar** : we’re here now anyway so someone will have to wake them up

**mingyu** : why don’t you just let them sleep if they’re clearly tired

**liar** : I mean sure if you want them to wake up wondering where everyone went

**hoshi** : WHO THE FUCK JUST YELLED IN MY EAR.

**Dino** : how come seokmin gets woken up nicely and we get shouted at

**the8** : favouritism thats why

**hoshi** : I can’t believe this

**dino** : if someone doesn’t carry me I’ll scream

**jun** : someone please I don’t want to hear that

**hoshi** : fine I’ll do it

**dino** : :D

**the8** : where did seungkwan go

**Liar** : please tell me we haven’t lost someone already

**jeonghan** : no I see them they seen beach and ran

**wonwoo** : of course they would

**Liar** : atleast nobody is lost for once

**Seungkwan** : why are you all just standing there

**seungkwan** : the beach exists

**the8** : I’d rather not get sand in my shoes and I need to find out where seokmin and Mingyu went 

**jun** : I think they already went inside

**woozi** : they’re inside and seokmin is apparently going to claim the biggest room

**jeonghan** : I don’t think so

**jeonghan** : Joshua hold my bag.

**liar** : Jeonghan what are you doing

**joshua** : Uh should we go after him

**seungkwan** : why does he need the biggest room

**seungkwan** : personally I think I should get it

**the8** : everyone wants the biggest room

**hoshi** : whoever gets there first gets it right

**dino** : if I get dropped on the floor I swear

**liar** : great, more chaos

Chaos had ensued once again. Seungcheol standing in the middle of it all, face horrified, as most of his band members raced to find the biggest room.   
  
Jeonghan had thrown his bag to Joshua before running off, shoving the others out of the way as he hurried after seokmin. There was no way he was letting him have that room.

The members who didn’t particularly care about what room they got, they were only staying there for two nights, watched the chaos rage on. Nobody quite knew whether they should step in or not.   
  


“We should probably go after him” Joshua had said, referring to jeonghan.

Seungcheol was about to argue against it when loud shrieking was heard coming from one of the rooms upstairs.

sighing, seungcheol went inside to investigate. 

on the other side of the building, Soonyoung and Chan were plotting something. There was no way they’d be able to get past Jeonghan if they went through the front, however, Soonyoung had an idea.

”are you sure this is a good idea?” The youngest had asked.

Soonyoung was going to climb in through the window and was currently half way up the side of the building. 

“You’re not spiderman you know, if you fall you’re going to break your neck” 

it was the last thing any of them needed, an injury on the first day of their break.

”I’ll be fine, look just for distract the others so I can climb inside” 

soonyoung was going to get this room no matter what. He didn’t care if that included the possibility of a near death experience. 

chan had gone inside grumbling to himself. Soonyoung was really making him do this all for his own gain.

The chaos if you thought couldn’t get any worse, had gotten worse. Seokmin, Jeonghan and seungkwan had gotten stuck in the hallway trying to barge past each other whilst Seungcheol desperately tried to separate them. 

mingyu, wonwoo and Minghao were sitting on one of the sofas, trying not to laugh at the completely ridiculous situation that had occurred approximately five minutes into their holiday. 

everyone else had disappeared and chan assumed they’d probably gone to claim one of the other rooms that a war wasn’t being fought over.

now it was time to execute Soonyoung’s plan. Chan hoped he managed to get to the window without falling to his death otherwise both of them were about to look incredibly stupid.

he’d been pretending to limp when he, totally not on purpose, tripped over nothing falling to the floor. He screamed and grabbed his ankle, clearly acting as though he really was in pain, which grabbed the attention of others.

at the sound of the scream, the three who were trying to barge their way to the room first immediately came running. The others crowding round him aswell asking him what had happened.

it was after five minutes of jeonghan’s constant questioning and seokmin’s worrying that Chan decided he was bored of his fake injury.

”you know, my ankles starting to feel better now. I’ll be okay” He said, picking himself up off the floor.

”are you sure? Don’t you think we should get it checked over?” Seokmin started worrying again

he supposed it was weird to suddenly act like your injury had suddenly disappeared. He reassured him nonetheless.

”I’ll be fine. I’ll sit down for awhile if it’ll stop you all worrying” he shrugged, making his way over to the sofas

the others nodded, going back to what they had been doing before.

jeonghan, seungkwan and seokmin had bolted up the stairs again much to Seungcheol’s utter despair as that meant he’d have to try and split them up again.

Before long there was an annoyed yell from the bedroom upstairs. It was Jeonghan. He’d clearly found Soonyoung and wasn’t very happy that he’d managed to get there before him.

whilst everyone had confused expressions across their faces, chan had just laughed. The thought of Jeonghan’s horrified face when seeing Soonyoung already in the room was something he’d pay to see.

  
[help]

**jeonghan** : I can’t believe this.

**the8** : what were you yelling about?

**jeonghan** : Soonyoung has clearly developed magical powers or something because somehow he’s gotten here before us

**DK** : but nobody saw him

**seungkwan** : Soonyoung what the fuck how did you even

**liar** : no seriously how did he even get there first nobody saw him come in

**jun** : plot twist: Soonyoung can teleport

**joshua** : I have no idea how he’s managed that

**dino** : what if he didn’t come in

**liar** : what do you mean

**wonwoo** : but surely he had to if he’s sitting in the room right now

**woozi** : what in the Harry Potter bullshit is going on here

**dino** : he climbed in through the window

**jeonghan** : WHAT

**vernon** : how did he not fall and break his neck

**DK** : wait now it all makes sense

**DK** : you didn’t really hurt your ankle did you?

**dino** : no it’s fine I could do a cartwheel right now with no issues

**DK** : you idiot I was worried

**dino** : sorry :(

**hoshi** : anyway I have the best room now :D

**seungkwan** : I can’t believe you’ve done this

**jeonghan** : how come he gets the biggest room to himself

**hoshi** : because I’m the best

**liar** : just let him have it Theres plenty of other rooms

**jeonghan** : unbelievable

**joshua** : has everyone else claimed a room yet?

**mingyu** : yeah

**woozi** : yeah

**seungkwan** : if any of you bitches took the room next to the kitchen I swear

**the8** : you just want that one so you can midnight snack without anyone hearing you

**seungkwan** : don’t judge me

**woozi** : well what are we supposed to do now

**seungkwan** : BEACH

**woozi** : ew sand

**the8** : if we’re going to the beach then I’m getting changed because I don’t want sand in my shoes

**jun** : that’s gross

**jeonghan** : nobody try to drown me in the sea this time

**liar** : uh what

**jeonghan** : he knows what he did.

**wonwoo** : right so I guess we’re going to the beach then

**joshua** : seems like it

[kids]

**the8** : I mean it if any of you try to bury me alive I will light you on fire

**mingyu** : I wasn’t planning on I’d rather not die thanks

**seungkwan** : I was set on fire before so I think I’ll pass

**DK** : why is everyone taking so long

**seungkwan** : I have to look good seokmin

**DK** : for who exactly you have a boyfriend

**seungkwan** : exactly I’m trying to look good for him

**the8** : I’ll make sure to wear earplugs tonight

**mingyu** : Minghao please I didn’t want to think about that

**DK** : right well now that I’m scarred for life can we go

**mingyu** : Where’s chan?

**vernon** : what did I miss?

**seungkwan** : NOTHING DO NOT READ UP

**vernon** : oookayy

**DK** : chan isn’t coming he was complaining about the sand

**the8** : won’t he just be bored by himself

**DK** : Soonyoung is staying behind too so I guess they’ll hang out or something

**mingyu** : you don’t have to come you know you could stay behind with him if you want?

**DK** : no it’s fine I’m sure he’ll be fine

**the8** : okay then now can we please go I want to be back before dinner

**seungkwan** : now that you mention dinner

**the8** : seungkwan just hurry up

**seungkwan** : but now I’m thinking about what I want to have for dinner

**vernon** : are we going out for dinner?

**mingyu** : if someone convinces cheol that we can behave in a restaurant again then maybe

**DK** : oh no don’t remind me of what happened last time.

**the8** : why are you all taking so long hurry up or nobody is going to get dinner

**seungkwan** : suddenly we are all moving very fast

**the8** : finally come on

**DK** : wait I didn’t say goodbye to chan

**the8** : you’re literally going to see him when we get back he’ll be fine

**seungkwan** : he’ll probably read the chat 

**DK** : okay okay

**the8** : okay now can we go before Jeonghan starts complaining

**mingyu** : let’s go

twenty minutes later than expected, the eleven of them headed to the beach. Jeonghan muttering about how he could’ve walked to the beach and back by the time it took everyone to get ready.

the others had simply laughed, calling him dramatic.

meanwhile, back at the house, Chan was busy laying on his and Seokmin’s shared bed, playing some game on his phone. He didn’t want to go to the beach, protesting that the feeling of sand was disgusting and that he’d rather die than go near the stuff. 

That left him, to his knowledge, alone in the house.

what he didn’t know was that Soonyoung had also stayed behind. It wasn’t that he hated the beach, he didn’t mind the feeling of sand or the strong smell of the sea. He’d said he had a headache which wasn’t exactly a lie he did have a slight pain in his head, however, the real reason why he was staying behind was a lot more than just a headache.

chan had gotten bored of his game. He’s turned his phone off and left it to charge next to the bed. Wandering out onto the balcony attached to his room he could see the others out on the beach. 

Jeonghan, Joshua and Seungcheol were laying on the sand next to each other, seemingly watching what the others were getting up to and probably to ensure nobody tired to drown someone in the sea again. 

seungkwan appeared to be making a pest out of himself, stomping on the sand castle that seokmin and Mingyu had just spent an unreasonable amount of time creating. Minghao had chased him off, probably threatening to light him on fire.

further away, chan could see some of the others in the water. He couldn’t exactly see what they were doing but they seemed to be having fun. 

there was a part of him who wishes he’d joined in, however, the feeling of sand between his toes and in any other crevices utterly disgusted him and so he removed that thought immediately. 

“I didn’t realise you were still here, I thought you’d have gone to the beach with seokmin?” The sound of Soonyoung’s voice startled him

He didn’t think he was still here either and his random question had made him jump.

”I thought you’d gone to the beach” chan stated, trying to act like he hadn’t almost just jumped out of his skin

soonyoung was standing in the doorway. He’d intended on going to see what snacks they had brought, however, he’d spotted Chan’s phone and knowing that the younger never went anywhere without it, became curious. 

“I had a headache” Soonyoung shrugged

the expression on his face suggested that he was lying although Chan didn’t push it. They were on holiday, the last thing he needed was to accidentally create drama.

“Do you need something?”

soonyoung stared at him blankly for a second before he realised what he meant 

“oh for the headache? No I’ll be okay” he gave a smile before he turned to leave

”maybe you should sleep, that could help” chan suggested

he couldn’t lie that perhaps he was a little worried about Soonyoung. He’d been acting a little strange since the explosive argument, however, chan knew it wasn’t his place to get involved. He’d gotten involved in too many things that he shouldn’t have before and he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

”yeah maybe I will”

then he was gone, presumably back to his own room.

meanwhile, down on the beach, a competition was taking place. Most of them were now in the water, watching as a ridiculous game began. They’d gotten into pairs and with one person on the others back they went against another pair to try and knock the other person off.

it was a silly game but nonetheless they were enjoying themselves. Laughing hysterically when seungkwan was knocked into the sea finally.

he’d surfaced only moments later complaining that Jeonghan had cheated, which as much as he wanted to believe wasn’t true. 

next it was seokmin against Minghao. Seokmin was on Mingyu’s back whilst Minghao was on jun’s. Both of them wanted to win, however, it was seokmin who eventually ended up in the sea.

the game lasted a little while longer, the rest of the members taking their turns at it before seungcheol said they should head back. 

“I should text chan and tell him we’ll be back soon” seokmin said to nobody in particular.

[chat between **DK** and **Dino** ] 

**DK** : are you alright? We’ll be back soon

**DK** : chan?

**DK** : I’m guessing you went for a nap

“He must’ve went to sleep” seokmin shrugged, putting his phone back in his pocket before he caught up with others.

”I wonder what they got up to whilst we were gone?” Seungkwan said as they walked in a group back to the house

”I mean Soonyoung said he had a headache so he probably slept or laid in bed at least” Minghao shrugged

when they returned back, seokmin went straight to his and Chan’s room. He was expecting to see his boyfriend asleep in their bed, however, he wasn’t there.

[chat between **DK** and **the8** ] 

**DK** : where’s chan?

**DK** : he isn’t in our room and I don’t know where else he would’ve gone

**the8** : think seokmin where else would he have gone

**DK** : I don’t know

**the8** : well think who else was here?

**DK** : Soonyoung?

**the8** : exactly

**DK** : oh now I get it let me go check

obviously chan would be in Soonyoung’s room, why didn’t seokmin think of it before. If they were the only ones there it was certain they’d end up hanging out. 

he expected to find them watching a film or playing a dumb game together, however, the sight which he found wasn’t what he expected.

both of them fast asleep, curled up together in Soonyoung’s bed.

chan must’ve gotten tired and came to cuddle Soonyoung to help him sleep seokmin thought.

“Why are you just standing in the doorway? Oh wait that’s kind of adorable” minghao had appeared behind seokmin

”yeah I know. We should let them sleep” seokmin replied, ushering minghao away from the doorway

”you’re smiling like an idiot” he heard minghao laugh

seokmin couldn’t help it. The sight made his heart feel like it was going to explode. Thankfully, to avoid any heart explosions, he’d been dragged downstairs with the others.

part of him now wishes he’d stayed behind.

[help]

**jeonghan** : is Soonyoung or chan actually alive?

**The8** : they’re sleeping in Soonyoung’s room

**liar** : someone will have to wake them up soon if we’re going to go out for food

**seungkwan** : so we are going out for food

**liar** : as long as nobody starts a food fight in the restaurant

**jeonghan** : I still can’t believe my favourite shirt got ruined

**joshua** : it was seungkwan’s fault

**seungkwan** : I didn’t do it on purpose I knocked the glass

**mingyu** : we’re not kids anymore I think we can behave in a restaurant now

**woozi** : have you met seokmin?

**DK** : I’m offended

**mingyu** : let’s be honest Hes the real baby in their relationship

**DK** : sTOP

**jun** : SeOkMiN bAbIe

**DK** : don’t you dare change my name to that

**the8** : please that would be hilarious

**wonwoo** : oh are we not bullying cheol for once

**DK** : I’m not a baby or a babie I don’t care how you spell I’m not it

**jeonghan** : say yes if you think seokmin is babie

**mingyu** : yes

**the8** : yes

**seungkwan** : yes

**DK** : I can’t believe this 

**DK** : I feel betrayed 

**woozi** : basically just accept it

**DK** : only certain people can call me that

**Mingyu** : people? That’s a plural

**The8** : he has a secret boyfriend confirmed.

**dino** : uh what did I miss?

**jeonghan** : debating about whether seokmin is babie or not

**dino** : he is end of discussion

**seungkwan** : wait now that they’re awake does that mean we can go for food now

**liar** : seungkwan some patience please

**joshua** : half of us have to get dressed anyway

**seungkwan** : you’re all trying to impress your boyfriends again

**the8** : you literally did that earlier

**seungkwan** : that was different

**the8** : how is that any different seungkwan

**mingyu** : is Soonyoung even awake yet?

**dino** : yeah but he’s not getting out of bed

**liar** : well he’s going to have to

**dino** : 5 more minutes - Soonyoung

**jeonghan** : why is he texting from your phone

**dino** : he couldn’t find his

**seungkwan** : can we please go get food now

**liar** : fine why don’t whoever’s ready go and we’ll catch up with you

**seungkwan** : finally a good idea

**jun** : finally I no longer have to listen to your complaining

**Jeonghan** : you’re going to regret letting them go without a responsible adult

**jun** : I’m right here.

**jeonghan** : we all know you have no control over them

**jun** : how hard can it be to go to a restaurant

**jun** : what’s the worst that could happen

**liar** : I wouldn’t speak so soon

**jeonghan** : good luck with the kids you’re going to need it

**seungkwan** : hey what’s that supposed to mean! We can be sensible

**dino** : im suddenly offended

**the8** : we aren’t that bad

**liar** : yeah we’ll see about that  
  


apparently it is very hard to take six twenty something year olds to a restaurant.

By the time the others had eventually arrived, Jun already looked like he was about to murder all of them.

”why are you wet?” Jihoon asked, gesturing to the youngest who looked as though he’d taken a shower with his clothes on.

”long story” he muttered, refusing to look at anyone.

it wasn’t really a long story, infact it would’ve been quite simple to explain. If you told any of them to do something because “it will be funny” then no matter what it is, they will do it.

it was this that led to seungkwan shoving Chan into a fountain because Mingyu told him it would be funny.

It turned out that it wasn’t as funny as expected as now Chan was sulking and refusing to speak to him or seungkwan.

[chat between **Mingyu** and **wonwoo** ] 

**wonwoo** : so why exactly is chan soaking and why does jun look like he’s about to scream

**mingyu** : I may have told Seungkwan that it would be funny if he pushed chan in the fountain.

**mingyu** : as for jun I think he’s just annoyed that he’s been left to deal with us

**wonwoo** : at least you don’t have Jeonghan and crew being sickeningly all over each other

**mingyu** : well that sounds awkward

**wonwoo** : it is awkward over here

**mingyu** : did something happen?

**wonwoo** : I mean I know they decided on this mutual break or whatever but there’s still a weird tension between Jihoon and Soonyoung

**mingyu** : it’s probably just awkward considering the parents are practically sucking each other’s faces right next to them

**wonwoo** : I just want everyone to enjoy the break you know I don’t want any drama to start

**mingyu** : me too hopefully everything will work out okay soon

[chat between **jun** and **jeonghan** ]

**jun** : stop sucking their faces I can see and hear you from here

**jeonghan** : why are you complaining your boyfriend is right there

**jun** : because I don’t need the whole restaurant to see us with our tongues in each other’s mouth

**jeonghan** : I know you’re still annoyed that you’ve been stuck with them that’s why you’re complaining

**jun** : no Jeonghan I just don’t want to watch whatever dodgy activities you have going on over there

**jeonghan** : I’m doing nothing of the sort

**jun** : sure Jeonghan

[help]

**liar** : so apparently behaving in a restaurant is still not within your capabilities

**jun** : oh please you literally had your tongue down jeonghans throat about 2 minutes ago and you didn’t care about how that looked

**jeonghan** : why are you so salty

**Jeonghan** : has minghao not been giving you enough attention or something

**jun** : —__—

**The8** : I give him plenty of attention

**jeonghan** : well give him more so he can stop being salty

**the8** : okay okay fine

**mingyu** : so would anyone like some earplugs if so come to my room

**the8** : I could slap you right now

**dino** : I already have earplugs

**DK** : same

**seungkwan** : I live with 11 other people of course I have earplugs

**mingyu** : don’t you mean 12 others

**vernon** : we come as a package deal

**jeonghan** : I don’t need earplugs I’ll just play music really loudly to annoy them so they’ll stop

**the8** : we didn’t even say we were going to do anything??

**jun** : please as if we’d do that when everyone is here

**hoshi** : that’s why the practice room exists

**dino** : HORRIBLE MEMORIES TAKE THAT BACK

**DK** : not the chair again

**jeonghan** : fuck you guys

**wonwoo** : please tell me you all aren’t using the practice room for that

**woozi** : im never going in the practice room again. 

**DK** : I think it’s just Jeonghan

**jeonghan** : I could expose some people right now but I won’t because I am a nice person

**mingyu** : you a nice person?

**jeonghan** : don’t make me tell the story of that time I walked in on you in a very compromising position

**Dino** : I DONT NEED TO HEAR THIS OH MY GOD

**Seungkwan** : I don’t want to hear about anyone in compromising positions the chair situation was bad enough

**vernon** : right so I’ll be needing some bleach

**woozi** : okay but can you all please stop using the practice room 

**dino** : ^^ please I go there to dance I don’t want to be traumatised

**liar** : okay how about nobody uses the practice room for anything other than actual dance practice

**hoshi** : what if you started doing dance practice but then Uh stuff happened

**liar** : don’t make this complicated

**hoshi** : it was a genuine question

**mingyu** : if I walk in on ANYONE doing dodgy activities instead of practice I’m leaving this band

**jeonghan** : so basically in conclusion use your rooms kids

**woozi** : and don’t be so fucking loud

**seungkwan** : that’s why ear plugs exist you should know that by now

**woozi** : I can’t walk around with ear plugs constantly

**seungkwan** : look if someones doing things at 3 in the afternoon then that’s weird 

**Mingyu** : right no own up who was the person doing it at 3pm

**dino** : why are we still talking about this

**DK** : rip my innocent ears

**the8** : who the hell started this conversation

**jun** : Jeonghan.

**jeonghan** : I didn’t know it was going to lead to us exposing where and when they heard other people

**liar** : this chat gives me a headache

**joshua** : can we just end this conversation already

**liar** : someone talk about something else

**seungkwan** : okay so can everyone buy me a present

**hoshi** : why?

**woozi** : I’m not buying you a present

**seungkwan** : because 1) I’ve blessed you all with my existence and 2) fuck you Jihoon 

**jeonghan** : seriously this chat makes me want to sleep early

**wonwoo** : then go to sleep

**jeonghan** : no thats boring

**wonwoo** : why do you never make sense

[???]

**Liar** : I’m going to say ask this once and only once

**wonwoo** : what could we possibly have done

**woozi** : we’re not the irresponsible ones well maybe Jeonghan but still

**jeonghan** : I’m offended.

**liar** : why did nobody think to inform me that seokmin and Mingyu are bleaching Soonyoung’s hair in the bathroom.

**joshua** : well I didn’t know

**jun** : why are they doing that it’s going to look terrible

**woozi** : it wouldn’t surprise me if it came out yellow

**liar** : when did he even get the bleach and where did he get it from??

**jeonghan** : @hoshi stop ignoring us and answer the damn questions

**wonwoo** : he must’ve bought it and brought it with him

**wonwoo** : although why he thinks trusting mingyu and seokmin to do it is a good idea I’ll never know

**woozi** : so I went to see what they were doing

**woozi** : why are they applying it like that 

**Jeonghan** : how are we supposed to explain this to the stylists

**liar** : we don’t

**hoshi** : hi everyone :)

**jun** : Soonyoung we know you’re bleaching your hair right now Theres no point trying to be extra nice

**wonwoo** : I dread to think what it’s going to look like

**liar** : now why would you do that

**hoshi** : blond

**liar** : yes but why

**hoshi** : it looked good

**liar** : yes but you aren’t a hair stylist and neither are seokmin or Mingyu

**hoshi** : but we’re dyeing each other’s hair

**woozi** : just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it got worse.

**joshua** : this is why we can’t leave anyone unsupervised

[help]

**liar** : now before I inevitably find out

**liar** : is anybody else dyeing their hair or someone else’s hair

**the8** : no because we’re not stupid 

**seungkwan** : lmfao who’s doing that

**hoshi** : me

**DK** : me

**mingyu** : me

**the8** : of course

**vernon** : what if it turns out a mess

**jeonghan** : what do you mean what if they have no hair stylist experience

**liar** : why did you have to do this now we’re only away for 3 days

**DK** : because we can

**mingyu** : because why not

**hoshi** : blond

**liar** : you can’t just keep saying blond as an answer to everything

**hoshi** : platinum

**liar** : really.

[chat between **the8** and **DK** ] 

**the8** : now why would you do that

**DK** : because I wanted a change

**the8** : your hair was fine before but that’s not what I meant

**the8** : WHO ALLOWED YOU TO BLEACH HAIR

**DK** : well I mean it didn’t look that difficult

**the8** : please tell me his hair ISNT yellow

**DK** : it’s not

**DK** : Mingyu’s is blue

**the8** : wHAT

**DK** : it looks cool

**the8** : I'm coming to see this

[help]

**the8** : Mingyu has blue hair

**wonwoo** : wHAT

**The8** : yeah come and see it

**woozi** : okay now we really can’t explain that to the stylists

**hoshi** : I’m blond

**liar** : we know you’ve said

**DK** : mines is just brown it looks normal you can all stop panicking

**dino** : I can’t believe you changed your hair

**jeonghan** : it’s like a shade darker than what it was before

**dino** : bUT I LIKED IT BEFORE >:(

**Liar** : okay your hair does look good but can you please stop just randomly doing stuff like this

**Seungkwan** : he doesn’t want to get in trouble basically

**jeonghan** : that’s because the company will kick him out

**seungkwan** : Isnt that what he wants?

**liar** : NO

**seungkwan** : oh my bad I thought you hated this band

**woozi** : no that’s me

**jeonghan** : seungkwan why are you doing shots by yourself?

**seungkwan** : Because there is no law that says I can’t do that

**woozi** : yeah but it does make you look sad

**jun** : now you’ve mentioned shots everyone’s going to get drunk

**Wonwoo** : I mean it can’t get any worse than this right

**woozi** : will you people STOP saying that

**jeonghan** : wonwoo things can always get worse than this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you all so much for all of your kudos and comments it means a lot to me!! <3


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